Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

The beginning is heartfelt sorrow of losing all family. It almost seems that speacker is suicidal.

I feel the end of the poem lessens the impact of the beginning except for the taking away Jay's hope of a better life than you had.


At the end of the poem beibg should be being.

Keep writing


dragonpoet

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thanks Dragon and keep firing...
Ricky
1024.

reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thanks ever so much for enjoying this and stopping by...
Ricky
1024.

Comment from Cynthia1

Excellent

Sad and compelling- yet free and breezy with the rhythm and song. I like this. I did notice one thing that you might want to correct. Your line that reads " I refuse to life forever"...I think it should be, I refuse to

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Cynthia, you are an Angel that God sent to help us withered poets.
Ricky
1024.

reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thanks Cynthia for your kind comments and review.
Ricky 1024.

reply by Cynthia1 on 03-Sep-2016

You are so welcome.
Cynthia1