My First Love, My Hero
Short Story29 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I bet this story is about you. I can picture doing something like this for a girl in need of a hero. You once told me that you act crazy when you are in a fight and nobody messes with you. LoL That is very clever, especially with 6 feet tall football players. But maybe is not about you. I could be wrong.
The story moved along smoothly and I wanted them to be a couple, I was disappointed they didn't end up together but that is life. So I guess is a realistic ending.
Great job, sweetie pie, no comment needed.
luv ya, big brother.
Gypsy
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I bet this story is about you. I can picture doing something like this for a girl in need of a hero. You once told me that you act crazy when you are in a fight and nobody messes with you. LoL That is very clever, especially with 6 feet tall football players. But maybe is not about you. I could be wrong.
The story moved along smoothly and I wanted them to be a couple, I was disappointed they didn't end up together but that is life. So I guess is a realistic ending.
Great job, sweetie pie, no comment needed.
luv ya, big brother.
Gypsy
Comment Written 08-Sep-2016
Comment from MissMerri
I truly love this story, and all the more because it is true! I didn't know a James Claypool in my high school years, but I guarantee he would have been my hero too, if I had. I was teased for various reasons... Because I had a funny last name, or I refused to drink at parties or because I made straight A's in Geometry when I was the only freshman in the class.. But I don't remember ever being bullied, so my heart goes out to any child who is. It must feel terrible. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful tale. (Was James's real name Michael by any chance?) ;")
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I truly love this story, and all the more because it is true! I didn't know a James Claypool in my high school years, but I guarantee he would have been my hero too, if I had. I was teased for various reasons... Because I had a funny last name, or I refused to drink at parties or because I made straight A's in Geometry when I was the only freshman in the class.. But I don't remember ever being bullied, so my heart goes out to any child who is. It must feel terrible. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful tale. (Was James's real name Michael by any chance?) ;")
Comment Written 07-Sep-2016
Comment from oliver818
Great story, so
Nice to hear about a positive highschool experience. Bullying is pathetic but so much the norm it's scary. Thanks for sharing this !
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Great story, so
Nice to hear about a positive highschool experience. Bullying is pathetic but so much the norm it's scary. Thanks for sharing this !
Comment Written 07-Sep-2016
Comment from Gloria ....
Aw, Mav this is such an upbeat story. James Claypool is the kind of guy every high school should have for the poor picked upons that no one seems to like.
I think you've done a fine job with setting, imagery and moving the plot along. The dialogue is natural and you've managed to get quite neatly inside the mind of a young girl in need of a friend.
Great job with this. I wish you all the best in the contest because this is romance in its finest.
Ange.
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Aw, Mav this is such an upbeat story. James Claypool is the kind of guy every high school should have for the poor picked upons that no one seems to like.
I think you've done a fine job with setting, imagery and moving the plot along. The dialogue is natural and you've managed to get quite neatly inside the mind of a young girl in need of a friend.
Great job with this. I wish you all the best in the contest because this is romance in its finest.
Ange.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
Comment from humpwhistle
Mikey, you know I rarely review your posts.
But I look in once in a while.
I think you have a sweet story here.
I made a few comments as I read.
Peace, Lee
I never kissed him(,) although((,) he gave me a couple memorable pecks on the cheek and some(,) oh(,) so sweet bear hugs on occasion. It's been forty years, but I can see him clear as the smile on my daughter's face on her wedding day.--Lord knows I'm not a 'comma' expert. Just suggesting.
What my red, pock-marked face had to do with any pie I was familiar with, I cannot say. --I think you meant to edit some of this.
At five-foot nine inches tall, I was overweight. --Maybe, 'Even at five-feet nine-inches tall, I was overweight.
By college(,) things
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Mikey, you know I rarely review your posts.
But I look in once in a while.
I think you have a sweet story here.
I made a few comments as I read.
Peace, Lee
I never kissed him(,) although((,) he gave me a couple memorable pecks on the cheek and some(,) oh(,) so sweet bear hugs on occasion. It's been forty years, but I can see him clear as the smile on my daughter's face on her wedding day.--Lord knows I'm not a 'comma' expert. Just suggesting.
What my red, pock-marked face had to do with any pie I was familiar with, I cannot say. --I think you meant to edit some of this.
At five-foot nine inches tall, I was overweight. --Maybe, 'Even at five-feet nine-inches tall, I was overweight.
By college(,) things
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
Comment from l.raven
HI Michael, what a wonderful story...not the bullying part...but that he stood up for her...and showed he cared...he sounded like a wonderful person to love...like him...I never backed down from a bully...your story my friend is very well told...and very well written...the lady in the picture is a beautiful girl...love Linda xxoo
my sister had a crush on one of the football players in our school...he lived across the street from us...he took her on a date...and raped her...long story...but a few days latter...he must have told some of the team about it...I was walking through the hall in high school...one grade down from my sister...she was older...two football players were talking awful to her...calling her names...she was crying...I walked up and punch the one right in the face...the other backed off...both told her they were sorry...I hate people let that...xxoo
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HI Michael, what a wonderful story...not the bullying part...but that he stood up for her...and showed he cared...he sounded like a wonderful person to love...like him...I never backed down from a bully...your story my friend is very well told...and very well written...the lady in the picture is a beautiful girl...love Linda xxoo
my sister had a crush on one of the football players in our school...he lived across the street from us...he took her on a date...and raped her...long story...but a few days latter...he must have told some of the team about it...I was walking through the hall in high school...one grade down from my sister...she was older...two football players were talking awful to her...calling her names...she was crying...I walked up and punch the one right in the face...the other backed off...both told her they were sorry...I hate people let that...xxoo
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is a great story, Michael. You told it well. I admire you for writing about the bullying issue that is so prevalent.
Your story is VERY believable. I am sure as you say that there were other girls with this same story. To have seen it and then write about it makes it even more personal.
Best wishes in the contest.
You are a kind-hearted soul. Jan
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This is a great story, Michael. You told it well. I admire you for writing about the bullying issue that is so prevalent.
Your story is VERY believable. I am sure as you say that there were other girls with this same story. To have seen it and then write about it makes it even more personal.
Best wishes in the contest.
You are a kind-hearted soul. Jan
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016
Comment from boxergirl
Wow, Mikie...this story has do much meat to it...a great first person voice telling the story. a great hero in James, and a great example for students on how to stand up for someone simply by bring nice. I just love it and if I was still teaching I'd read ut aloud to my freshmen kiddos. 8-)
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Wow, Mikie...this story has do much meat to it...a great first person voice telling the story. a great hero in James, and a great example for students on how to stand up for someone simply by bring nice. I just love it and if I was still teaching I'd read ut aloud to my freshmen kiddos. 8-)
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016
Comment from patcelaw
Mikey, this is a delightful story and one that kept me engaged in reading. Every awkward high schooler needs a hero like Jimmy. Blessing for the rest of the weekend. Patricia
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Mikey, this is a delightful story and one that kept me engaged in reading. Every awkward high schooler needs a hero like Jimmy. Blessing for the rest of the weekend. Patricia
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016
Comment from Pearl Edwards
memorable pecks on the check (I'm thinking cheek)
Good descriptions mikey of those of us that weren't among the popular crowd during the hateful high school years, can really relate to the acne too. Every girl going through this would love to have a James Claypool to stand up for her. Good one mikey, loved it and good luck in the contest.
cheers,
valda.
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memorable pecks on the check (I'm thinking cheek)
Good descriptions mikey of those of us that weren't among the popular crowd during the hateful high school years, can really relate to the acne too. Every girl going through this would love to have a James Claypool to stand up for her. Good one mikey, loved it and good luck in the contest.
cheers,
valda.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016
