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Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Reminder"Shorter stories
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Comment from nomi338
Heroes always have a routine that they follow no matter what. They give no thought to their safety or if they will survive or not. It is not that they are foolhardy, it's just that they don't waste time worrying about themselves. There are certain things that they feel they must do. What they never do is cry for themselves when they realize that they will not be going home. They allow themselves a smile when they realize that they have done all that they can do.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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Heroes always have a routine that they follow no matter what. They give no thought to their safety or if they will survive or not. It is not that they are foolhardy, it's just that they don't waste time worrying about themselves. There are certain things that they feel they must do. What they never do is cry for themselves when they realize that they will not be going home. They allow themselves a smile when they realize that they have done all that they can do.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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Thank you, nomi, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Jay Squires
Ha! I like this story, Bill. It's like you're here to show us you don't just write some of the cleverest poetry on the site, but you know how to string together words, intellect and sentiment to develop a fine piece of flash fiction. I've read most all the entrants in this contest and yours is among the best. Good luck!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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Ha! I like this story, Bill. It's like you're here to show us you don't just write some of the cleverest poetry on the site, but you know how to string together words, intellect and sentiment to develop a fine piece of flash fiction. I've read most all the entrants in this contest and yours is among the best. Good luck!
Comment Written 03-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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Thank you, Jay, for the terrific, and complimentary review. Bill
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hey, Bill. I guess I'll just go ahead and jump on in with both feet...
"They were boarding together so as to facilitate quick regrouping aboard the vessel and accelerating the departure time. Stephen noticed something different though. His father had a red band tied around his left leg, just above the knee. No one else seemed to have this extra adornment. He asked his mom what it was." ... Good thing Stephen's CO didn't see that red band tied around his leg. He might have been standin' tall before the man for being out of uniform, if he had ...
"Stephen's mom received notice of her husband's heroic act and of his loss. There was a closed-casket service a few weeks later as the family said good-bye." ... O-h-h-h-hhhh, closed coffin, huh? Yeah, it must'a been bad ...
"It looked like the oxygen on his back was all that remained before the end.
He sat down on a mound and watched as the asteroid circled the big blue sphere. Reaching down, he tugged on the red band around his leg, thinking of his granddad, his pop, and his daughter." ... Well, if I'm in that family the last thing on Earth (no pun intended) I'm gonna be wearing around my own leg is a red band. Given the luck they've had with that generational tradition, ain't no way. I would keep one in a pocket next to my heart, however. Just out of respect.
Excellent story, Bill. You packed the misfortunes of, what, three generations in so few words.
I noticed no errors, of course I was really too engrossed in the story to notice.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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Hey, Bill. I guess I'll just go ahead and jump on in with both feet...
"They were boarding together so as to facilitate quick regrouping aboard the vessel and accelerating the departure time. Stephen noticed something different though. His father had a red band tied around his left leg, just above the knee. No one else seemed to have this extra adornment. He asked his mom what it was." ... Good thing Stephen's CO didn't see that red band tied around his leg. He might have been standin' tall before the man for being out of uniform, if he had ...
"Stephen's mom received notice of her husband's heroic act and of his loss. There was a closed-casket service a few weeks later as the family said good-bye." ... O-h-h-h-hhhh, closed coffin, huh? Yeah, it must'a been bad ...
"It looked like the oxygen on his back was all that remained before the end.
He sat down on a mound and watched as the asteroid circled the big blue sphere. Reaching down, he tugged on the red band around his leg, thinking of his granddad, his pop, and his daughter." ... Well, if I'm in that family the last thing on Earth (no pun intended) I'm gonna be wearing around my own leg is a red band. Given the luck they've had with that generational tradition, ain't no way. I would keep one in a pocket next to my heart, however. Just out of respect.
Excellent story, Bill. You packed the misfortunes of, what, three generations in so few words.
I noticed no errors, of course I was really too engrossed in the story to notice.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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Thank you, Dean, for giving this a thorough going over. I knew any military folk wouldn't go for the unauthorized extraneous tagging. We need a suspension of disbelief here. Happy day. Bill
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Well, as long as he didn't get caught, he could get away with it. I've seen similar things done.
You're welcome, Bill, and again, good luck.
~Dean
Comment from Gloria ....
Fabulous job with this story, Bill. The pacing is terrific and the umbilical cord linking the family from generation to generation neatly illustrated with the red scarf.
You write exceptional prose and I wish you all the best in the contest. There's some stiff competition.
Gloria
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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Fabulous job with this story, Bill. The pacing is terrific and the umbilical cord linking the family from generation to generation neatly illustrated with the red scarf.
You write exceptional prose and I wish you all the best in the contest. There's some stiff competition.
Gloria
Comment Written 03-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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Thank you, Gloria. I like quick and funny, but I write a lot of weepy and creepy as well. Happy day. Bill
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Oh I know. I remember your serial killer story, so that's how good you are.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Bravo! You get my last six. This is so good, I had tears in my eyes. What a beautiful story. I didn't know you wrote longer pieces like this. You really should do more. :)
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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Bravo! You get my last six. This is so good, I had tears in my eyes. What a beautiful story. I didn't know you wrote longer pieces like this. You really should do more. :)
Comment Written 03-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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Thank you, Phyllis. Coming from you that is high praise. It chokes me up a bit to read it as well.
Comment from Heather Knight
This is a great story. I love the progression from the fireman to the astronaut.
It is also very sad...
And I love the red bandana symbol.
Good luck with the competition.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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This is a great story. I love the progression from the fireman to the astronaut.
It is also very sad...
And I love the red bandana symbol.
Good luck with the competition.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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Thank you, MJ, for following the image through the story. Bill
Comment from TAB_that's me
It seems this family is doomed every 15 years. It is a very good story - nice plot. It held my interest and left me hanging just a bit.
Good luck in the contest.
teresa
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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It seems this family is doomed every 15 years. It is a very good story - nice plot. It held my interest and left me hanging just a bit.
Good luck in the contest.
teresa
Comment Written 03-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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Thank you, Teresa, for the nice review. Bill
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Bill,
Good interpretation of the piece and great eyes to spot and then exploit one component of the given image. very creative choice.
Somewhat ironic that each time someone noticed the band, the wearer promptly dies. I think I wouldn't have bothered.
All the best in the judging
GMG
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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Hi Bill,
Good interpretation of the piece and great eyes to spot and then exploit one component of the given image. very creative choice.
Somewhat ironic that each time someone noticed the band, the wearer promptly dies. I think I wouldn't have bothered.
All the best in the judging
GMG
Comment Written 03-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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Thank you, GMG, for the positive review. Bill
Comment from frogbook
Really great story, Bill. Very emotion filled, very original and clever as it progressed through the generations of heros. EXCELLENT. Should rank high in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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Really great story, Bill. Very emotion filled, very original and clever as it progressed through the generations of heros. EXCELLENT. Should rank high in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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Thank you, FB, for the kind review. Bill
