Reviews from

Tin Condo, Rent Controlled

Story Beginning-Potlatch Challeng

27 total reviews 
Comment from giraffmang
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Hi Mikey,

Another nice start for a story here. Noah's arc takes to the skies. I see you went for the literal last days of the earth and did a good job with it, dropping us in after the fact. I always find picking where to drop the reader in the most crucial part of a story.

I'd read on. Good stuff
G

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2016

reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
    Thanks so much.
    A fun challenge.
    mikey :))
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
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Michael,
I enjoyed your potlatch entry. You did a great job. I like most sci-fi. I can see this expanded into a novel. You did a great job in a small space setting up the scene. I can see several possibilities happening with the characters as they find their way.

Good job on the story starter. Jan

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2016

reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
    Thanks so much.
    A fun challenge.
    mikey :))
Comment from LIJ Red
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My Gawd, the Phlogiston escaped. Looks like a sharp hook for the fans of sci-fi. Not with a bang but a crackle. Or another weasel in the Hadron Collider. Excellent.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2016

reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
    Thanks so much.
    A fun challenge.
    mikey :))
Comment from Lovinia
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Hi Mikey

Always amazing what pops out of that mind of your ... all in a blink! A feel of Ice Station Zebra, but in outer space. Always an enticement when I see the mother ship buzz of into lightyears. Earth gone pink, now I'm pumped! Soon to self destruct ... a blackened planet ... no way back ... onwards .. to what? Now I am intrigued. I advise that Captain Janeway and her crew have kept me interested for eight long years ... at least they could return to Earth. I'd would love to see what you have in mind for the dubious future of those aboard. Only four characters ... the end may come too swift. lol Well done, I've enjoyed your lead in, and would love to read on ... Hugs - Lovi xoxo

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016

reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
    Love Ice Station Zebra---"Burning, burning ... flames" LOL
    Thanks so much.
    A fun challenge.
    mikey :))
Comment from Gloria ....
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Another fine story opening, Mav. And a fine sci-fi adventure it will be with you as the Captain of the ship.

The setting is clear and the why or wherefore of the planet's end is irrelevant at this point in the story.

The only suggestion I have is to replace the word Earth that you've used four times in rather rapid succession.

Other than that, super fine novel opener with lots of potential for veering off course. Weeeeeee.

Love it!

Ange

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016

reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
    I've got you smuggled on board in the cargo bay, Angel, just to make it interesting for me. It's been my plan all along.
    I did replace the word Earth. It looks funny once you notice it. Stands out like nothing else is there. You're too sweet. Finally got you were I want you. Yeah, a little nuts, a spaceship orbiting a destructing Earth. Ahhh ... so romantic.

    Mav
Comment from jusylee72
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Great beginning. I enjoyed this challenge. Imagine being in space with no where to go . At least you are qualified to be in space and have training. Claustrophobia comes to mind. I think you did great on the challenge.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016

reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
    Thanks so much.
    A fun challenge.
    mikey :))
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
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Terrific start. They have to find a habitable planet, and soon. Capt Mikey is in charge, defintitely the heroic type, and times like these need a hero. What fun! :)

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016

reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
    You're too kind. Does sound like fun. Just got to get rid of those two guys....
    Thanks so much.
    A fun challenge.
    mikey :))
Comment from brenda bickers
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Hi Mikey.
This was brilliant, I liked this a lot. So glad you chose to leave Hillary down there.
Would love to know how your gonna survive. If I bring a picnic basket can I come along for the ride? I don't know how you do these so quick.
well done great read.
Brenda:))x

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016

reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
    You're more than welcome. I'll kick the others out through an airlock if you show up. HAHAHA!
    Thanks so much.
    A fun challenge.
    mikey :))
Comment from Ulla
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Hi Mikey, this is great. I would definitely want to read on. I presume they are in a space craft, but how they are to survive apart from vital food supplies and water, is yet to be seen. All the best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016

reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
    Thanks so much.
    A fun challenge.
    mikey :))
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
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Oh that is you. You find a party in everything. Bring on the booze and the dancing girls....oops no booze and one girl. Well...lets rethink this

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016

reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
    The booze is hidden in my cabin and I only need one girl. HA!
    Thanks so much.
    A fun challenge.
    mikey :))