Rage!
It's in us10 total reviews
Comment from sage17611
This is a very detailed scene of a murdered victim of a serial killer. You describe the scene very well. The narration of the characters brings them to life giving the reader actual crime scene investigative facts. The story is well written and flows nicely with an interesting theme. Good job, good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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This is a very detailed scene of a murdered victim of a serial killer. You describe the scene very well. The narration of the characters brings them to life giving the reader actual crime scene investigative facts. The story is well written and flows nicely with an interesting theme. Good job, good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from kathleenspalding
Oh yuck! Well done!!!
Great showing not telling.
Couple things to let you see how it sounds...
...doorway and gazed into a room his feet were too afraid to enter?
...only CSI was....
...sick younger partner...
Love the end!
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Oh yuck! Well done!!!
Great showing not telling.
Couple things to let you see how it sounds...
...doorway and gazed into a room his feet were too afraid to enter?
...only CSI was....
...sick younger partner...
Love the end!
Comment Written 24-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much.
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You're welcome
Comment from Joan E.
The dramatic picture you chose certainly parallels your title! The "madman's art project" was a vivid metaphor, matched by the "teen's worst acne" simile. To be continued... Best wishes in the contest- Joan
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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The dramatic picture you chose certainly parallels your title! The "madman's art project" was a vivid metaphor, matched by the "teen's worst acne" simile. To be continued... Best wishes in the contest- Joan
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from create4christ
Ugh...he IS an evil demon...if he could do that to a woman....especially, if he usually did it with his victim alive...WHAT AN EVIL PERSON! Well, you did MAKE US WANT TO READ MORE. Your reader was compelled to continue reading...Good luck with your contest entry.
Thank you for sharing. ..Penny
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Ugh...he IS an evil demon...if he could do that to a woman....especially, if he usually did it with his victim alive...WHAT AN EVIL PERSON! Well, you did MAKE US WANT TO READ MORE. Your reader was compelled to continue reading...Good luck with your contest entry.
Thank you for sharing. ..Penny
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from LIJ Red
Shoo, nasty. A cop contaminating the crime scene. Send Monroe back to the school crossing. Now if we can keep the judge from tossing the
fouled-up FBI DNA data...excellent hook.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Shoo, nasty. A cop contaminating the crime scene. Send Monroe back to the school crossing. Now if we can keep the judge from tossing the
fouled-up FBI DNA data...excellent hook.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from DALLAS01
Wow. The attention paid to detail and the ability to paint such a gross scene rings of a professional writer. I would want to read on based on the crafting alone. Good luck in the contest. A great contender.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Wow. The attention paid to detail and the ability to paint such a gross scene rings of a professional writer. I would want to read on based on the crafting alone. Good luck in the contest. A great contender.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Great opener, grabbing the attention of the reader from the very first line. Always a good thing! LOL
that he had been holding his breath. He inhaled deeply - if he'd been holding his breath, he'd need to exhale rather than inhale.
Just once, I wish he could take a full moon off. - nothing wrong with this other than it is a very over-used trope.
best of luck in the voting booths.
GMG
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Hi there,
Great opener, grabbing the attention of the reader from the very first line. Always a good thing! LOL
that he had been holding his breath. He inhaled deeply - if he'd been holding his breath, he'd need to exhale rather than inhale.
Just once, I wish he could take a full moon off. - nothing wrong with this other than it is a very over-used trope.
best of luck in the voting booths.
GMG
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from barkingdog
Excellent beginning. A bit gory, but murder and corpse mutilation would be.
I think you have a good pair of officers here--the queasy newbie and the seasoned partner.
I'd read more.
: ) e
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Excellent beginning. A bit gory, but murder and corpse mutilation would be.
I think you have a good pair of officers here--the queasy newbie and the seasoned partner.
I'd read more.
: ) e
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from royowen
This is an excellent horror/murder mystery, though the descriptive text is graphic, the detail for such a short story is incredibly good. This would be the best one of this contest I've read, worth a serialised version definitely, I would recommend you do it, if you do it as well as this short version, it could be a best seller! Well done, congratulations, good luck, blessings, Roy
Typo : I need a full rape (a) kit now.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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This is an excellent horror/murder mystery, though the descriptive text is graphic, the detail for such a short story is incredibly good. This would be the best one of this contest I've read, worth a serialised version definitely, I would recommend you do it, if you do it as well as this short version, it could be a best seller! Well done, congratulations, good luck, blessings, Roy
Typo : I need a full rape (a) kit now.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much.
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Most welcome
Comment from country ranch writer
some men are real turds and try to pretend nothing turns them on but like this guy he couldn't hold his emotions in he got honry as hell
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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some men are real turds and try to pretend nothing turns them on but like this guy he couldn't hold his emotions in he got honry as hell
Comment Written 22-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much.
