Astatula (Final Edition)
Viewing comments for Chapter 56 "Little Green Army Men"A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?
15 total reviews
Comment from MTF1955
I cannot wait to see what the sheriff is going to do to BeeBo. I hope it's long and painful. Great job. You have painted BeeBo with a sinister brush. Mary
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2016
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I cannot wait to see what the sheriff is going to do to BeeBo. I hope it's long and painful. Great job. You have painted BeeBo with a sinister brush. Mary
Comment Written 22-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Keep following along. Much more to come. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Ulla
Hi There, I'm catching up. I've been without Internet for a few days, so I'm behind. I have read your previous posts and wit this I'm up to date. Well,so the evil clown is on the rampage. Not very good at all.
A few suggestions: 'be a little adventure all his own'= 'all of his own
The Clown belched pleasurably = with pleasure. Gets rid of the pesky 'ly' word
Bee-Bo laughed heartily = with gusto. Get's rid of another 'ly' word.
Bee-Bo was delighted in his handiwork - with his handiwork
Looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Hi There, I'm catching up. I've been without Internet for a few days, so I'm behind. I have read your previous posts and wit this I'm up to date. Well,so the evil clown is on the rampage. Not very good at all.
A few suggestions: 'be a little adventure all his own'= 'all of his own
The Clown belched pleasurably = with pleasure. Gets rid of the pesky 'ly' word
Bee-Bo laughed heartily = with gusto. Get's rid of another 'ly' word.
Bee-Bo was delighted in his handiwork - with his handiwork
Looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 21-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Seems you do not like words ending in "ly" very much?
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story.
Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from judiverse
Excellent job of showing the workings of Bee-Bo's twisted mind. He has quite a hit list, and isn't ready to stop yet. Inside Daniels' home, he has a grand old time destroying paintings and Cody's green Army men. That will really hurt Cody, as they were his first gift from Daniels. I'm sure the Sheriff will have no trouble figuring out who did the damage, as Bee-Bo has been targeting Cody. I don't think I'd call Bee-Bo simple-minded. He's pretty cold and calculating, and knows exactly what he's doing. judi
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Excellent job of showing the workings of Bee-Bo's twisted mind. He has quite a hit list, and isn't ready to stop yet. Inside Daniels' home, he has a grand old time destroying paintings and Cody's green Army men. That will really hurt Cody, as they were his first gift from Daniels. I'm sure the Sheriff will have no trouble figuring out who did the damage, as Bee-Bo has been targeting Cody. I don't think I'd call Bee-Bo simple-minded. He's pretty cold and calculating, and knows exactly what he's doing. judi
Comment Written 20-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.
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You're very welcome. Happy trails! judi
Comment from jlsavell
Okay Brett, I was so enjoying the dialogue and relationship between Sheriff and Cody, I almost forgot about Bee Bo.. Truly an incredibly disturbed being. I am on the edge. What is next. Stay tuned, well in tuned.. well done.. jimi
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Okay Brett, I was so enjoying the dialogue and relationship between Sheriff and Cody, I almost forgot about Bee Bo.. Truly an incredibly disturbed being. I am on the edge. What is next. Stay tuned, well in tuned.. well done.. jimi
Comment Written 19-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoy the conversations between Cody and Sheriff Daniels. Many more of those to follow.
However, getting back to the book our bosom buddy Bee-Bo had to have his shining moments so the story could continue.
Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from MizKat
Hi,
I like this chapter of your book too. You sure are good at keeping the reader
interested in your writing. If any of the others are like me they'll be wondering
what's going to happy next.
Kat
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Hi,
I like this chapter of your book too. You sure are good at keeping the reader
interested in your writing. If any of the others are like me they'll be wondering
what's going to happy next.
Kat
Comment Written 19-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story.
You know me. No telling what might happen next.
Your comments and support appreciated.
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I always like reading your work.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Wow, this guy is truly evil. Surely they'll catch him and lock him in a rubber room in a looney bin. He's too dangerous for prison... I'd feel sorry for the other inmates.
Very well written. Scary stuff! :)
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Wow, this guy is truly evil. Surely they'll catch him and lock him in a rubber room in a looney bin. He's too dangerous for prison... I'd feel sorry for the other inmates.
Very well written. Scary stuff! :)
Comment Written 19-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story.
Bee-Bo only lives for revenge of the Sheriff any way he can obtain it.
And what better way to achieve that revenge than through Cody?
Stay tunes. Much more to come.
Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Brett,
A very enjoyable read. Good pop culture references thrown in for good measure. The mixture of short terse sentences into the narrative work really well in this piece.
His last victim, Doctor Robert Patterson, coupled with Terrence Rogers was where Bee-Bo left off on his Hit list- surely this would make Rogers his last victim if he was working his way through the alphabet. And what happened to 'Q'? Am I missing something here? It seems badly expressed and contradictory.
Prominently displayed was Star Trek III with its sentimental images of Spock and Captain Kirk. They would suffer the fate of The Clown's box cutter! Then the needs of the one would outweigh the needs of the many. - bravo ! I laughed my butt off at this - I guess you know why.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Hi Brett,
A very enjoyable read. Good pop culture references thrown in for good measure. The mixture of short terse sentences into the narrative work really well in this piece.
His last victim, Doctor Robert Patterson, coupled with Terrence Rogers was where Bee-Bo left off on his Hit list- surely this would make Rogers his last victim if he was working his way through the alphabet. And what happened to 'Q'? Am I missing something here? It seems badly expressed and contradictory.
Prominently displayed was Star Trek III with its sentimental images of Spock and Captain Kirk. They would suffer the fate of The Clown's box cutter! Then the needs of the one would outweigh the needs of the many. - bravo ! I laughed my butt off at this - I guess you know why.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 19-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Giraff,
On Bee-Bo's Hit list he had murdered all the alphabet up to the letter "S" before coming to Astatula.
Since arriving there he has only killed one person, Doctor Patterson.
Thought you would appreciate the Star Trek III bit.
If there is one thing Cody has taught me since he first appeared it is that I have to keep my readers entertained.
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story.
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This is good stuff. I found it very entertaining. I might have to go back and catch up when I have the time.
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Dang, this clown has a cowardly mean streak. He knows that what he did within Brock's home would enrage him beyond words. What he did to Cody's little green army men was as insane as insane that one can get. Bee-Bo is the true meaning of extreme cruelty.
Well done my friend,,,,,, Jim
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Dang, this clown has a cowardly mean streak. He knows that what he did within Brock's home would enrage him beyond words. What he did to Cody's little green army men was as insane as insane that one can get. Bee-Bo is the true meaning of extreme cruelty.
Well done my friend,,,,,, Jim
Comment Written 19-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story.
Revenge is sweet!
Now we shall see how Brock Daniels reacts!
Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from create4christ
Of course, I always love your stories about Cody Schroder and Sheriff Daniels. Your reader can visualize and FEEL how evil BeeBo The Clown is.
One typo in your last sentence...s/b GETTING
Thank you for sharing, Friend...Penny
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Of course, I always love your stories about Cody Schroder and Sheriff Daniels. Your reader can visualize and FEEL how evil BeeBo The Clown is.
One typo in your last sentence...s/b GETTING
Thank you for sharing, Friend...Penny
Comment Written 19-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Appreciate the catch.
Shows I need to pay closer attention to my editing some times.
Now we shall see how Brock Daniels reacts to this situation.
Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from barkingdog
You gave us a very clear picture of Bee-Bo's madness and he glee he feels as he destroys treasured items in the Sheriff's home and Cody's room.
One suggestion: You repeat 'little green Army men' many times. There has to be an alternative. Even if it's just to shorten it to little Army men, or toy soldiers several times.
:) e
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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You gave us a very clear picture of Bee-Bo's madness and he glee he feels as he destroys treasured items in the Sheriff's home and Cody's room.
One suggestion: You repeat 'little green Army men' many times. There has to be an alternative. Even if it's just to shorten it to little Army men, or toy soldiers several times.
:) e
Comment Written 19-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story.
Your suggestion appreciated.
Stay tuned. Much more to come.
