Unleashed Forces
Prose Potlatch Practice for 17th July6 total reviews
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi BANANAFISH,
Ooooh what a dilemma. This is a good practice piece and certainly does what it say's on the tin. I would certainly want to settle down and keep reading. Maybe I could find a safe little bunker somewhere so I get to finish the book before I am obliterated. Oh dear there I go again, mixing fact with fiction.
A great read.
Brenda:))x
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016
Hi BANANAFISH,
Ooooh what a dilemma. This is a good practice piece and certainly does what it say's on the tin. I would certainly want to settle down and keep reading. Maybe I could find a safe little bunker somewhere so I get to finish the book before I am obliterated. Oh dear there I go again, mixing fact with fiction.
A great read.
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 15-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016
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Brenda, thanks so much for the wonderful review and kind words. Bill
Comment from Mary Wakeford
Hi Bill, as I watch the news of the recent terror attack in Paris and the worldwide seemingly inept ability of our leaders; the pathetic quality of presidential candidates, both parties, and your potlatch scenario doesn't seem all that unreasonable or far off.
My only suggestion would be to consider breaking it into a few paragraphs.
Excellent read!
You grab the reader immediately and kept them intrigued throughout.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016
Hi Bill, as I watch the news of the recent terror attack in Paris and the worldwide seemingly inept ability of our leaders; the pathetic quality of presidential candidates, both parties, and your potlatch scenario doesn't seem all that unreasonable or far off.
My only suggestion would be to consider breaking it into a few paragraphs.
Excellent read!
You grab the reader immediately and kept them intrigued throughout.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016
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Mary, many thanks for the great review and kind words. I agree about breaking it into a few paragraphs. I think I took the challenge too literally, when it said opening paragraph. I'm going to edit right now. Thanks again for the kind review and helpful suggestion. Bill
Comment from Stephendick24
I think you did very well for a couple of reasons. First, you introduced a human element right off the bat. Second, the surprise at figuring out that the U.S. attacked first definitely makes me want to read on. Good writing.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
I think you did very well for a couple of reasons. First, you introduced a human element right off the bat. Second, the surprise at figuring out that the U.S. attacked first definitely makes me want to read on. Good writing.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
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Thanks for the review and kind words. Bill
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Bill,
Very nice job with this challenge. excellent tension created in this opening salvo. Intriguing targets named on US soil, leaving us wondering exactly what is going on...
Now that is a hook.
Good job
G
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
Hi Bill,
Very nice job with this challenge. excellent tension created in this opening salvo. Intriguing targets named on US soil, leaving us wondering exactly what is going on...
Now that is a hook.
Good job
G
Comment Written 14-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
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Hi G, many thanks for the great review and encouragement. It is appreciated. Bill
Comment from Kooky Clown
this sounds like a futuristic story that may come true especially if the USA elects Donald Trump as their next President and that is scary. We have now a new Prime Minister who is changing the Cabinet like a new broom, sweeping away the old crew. I just hope that she is not as egotistical as Donald.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
this sounds like a futuristic story that may come true especially if the USA elects Donald Trump as their next President and that is scary. We have now a new Prime Minister who is changing the Cabinet like a new broom, sweeping away the old crew. I just hope that she is not as egotistical as Donald.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
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Kooky Clown, thanks so much for the wonderful six star review. I completely agree about Trump. Thanks again. Bill
Comment from Challah1202
The prompt puts the character in an untenable position and of course the tension is palpable. Now you'll get to view the effect on all the other participants and the results. Good job. Now dig deeper.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
The prompt puts the character in an untenable position and of course the tension is palpable. Now you'll get to view the effect on all the other participants and the results. Good job. Now dig deeper.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
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Thanks for the review. Do you have any suggestions to improve the piece? Bill