Comment from brenda bickers

Excellent

Hi BANANAFISH,
Ooooh what a dilemma. This is a good practice piece and certainly does what it say's on the tin. I would certainly want to settle down and keep reading. Maybe I could find a safe little bunker somewhere so I get to finish the book before I am obliterated. Oh dear there I go again, mixing fact with fiction.
A great read.
Brenda:))x

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016

Brenda, thanks so much for the wonderful review and kind words. Bill

Comment from Mary Wakeford

Excellent

Hi Bill, as I watch the news of the recent terror attack in Paris and the worldwide seemingly inept ability of our leaders; the pathetic quality of presidential candidates, both parties, and your potlatch scenario doesn't seem all that unreasonable or far off.

My only suggestion would be to consider breaking it into a few paragraphs.

Excellent read!

You grab the reader immediately and kept them intrigued throughout.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016

Mary, many thanks for the great review and kind words. I agree about breaking it into a few paragraphs. I think I took the challenge too literally, when it said opening paragraph. I'm going to edit right now. Thanks again for the kind review and helpful suggestion. Bill

Comment from Stephendick24

Good

I think you did very well for a couple of reasons. First, you introduced a human element right off the bat. Second, the surprise at figuring out that the U.S. attacked first definitely makes me want to read on. Good writing.

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016

Thanks for the review and kind words. Bill

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Bill,

Very nice job with this challenge. excellent tension created in this opening salvo. Intriguing targets named on US soil, leaving us wondering exactly what is going on...

Now that is a hook.
Good job
G

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016

Hi G, many thanks for the great review and encouragement. It is appreciated. Bill

Comment from Kooky Clown

Exceptional

this sounds like a futuristic story that may come true especially if the USA elects Donald Trump as their next President and that is scary. We have now a new Prime Minister who is changing the Cabinet like a new broom, sweeping away the old crew. I just hope that she is not as egotistical as Donald.

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016

Kooky Clown, thanks so much for the wonderful six star review. I completely agree about Trump. Thanks again. Bill

Comment from Challah1202

Good

The prompt puts the character in an untenable position and of course the tension is palpable. Now you'll get to view the effect on all the other participants and the results. Good job. Now dig deeper.

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016

Thanks for the review. Do you have any suggestions to improve the piece? Bill