Judith
A School friend so worthy.15 total reviews
Comment from mumsyone
Good poem, Kay. The Bible verses I just read 10 minutes ago talk of relieving the suffering of the poor, the down and out, which is just what you did with this young girl. God bless you for caring and for helping her.
Hugs,
Lois
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
Good poem, Kay. The Bible verses I just read 10 minutes ago talk of relieving the suffering of the poor, the down and out, which is just what you did with this young girl. God bless you for caring and for helping her.
Hugs,
Lois
Comment Written 14-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
-
Hello Lois, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven." Thank you my friend. Love, Kay.
Comment from Mithma
Thank you for the message. Well presented. You could fold the whole idea in to ABAB rhyme so the story unbound when you recite the verse. Thank for sharing
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
Thank you for the message. Well presented. You could fold the whole idea in to ABAB rhyme so the story unbound when you recite the verse. Thank for sharing
Comment Written 14-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
-
Hello Mithma, Thank you for reading. She was a friend when I was fifteen, many moons ago. Love, Kay.
Comment from patcelaw
So often the world looks on a soul like Judith, and think she has no worth at all, while in truth she might be the next person to become the one to develop a cure for a disease. Patricia
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
So often the world looks on a soul like Judith, and think she has no worth at all, while in truth she might be the next person to become the one to develop a cure for a disease. Patricia
Comment Written 13-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
-
Hello Patricia, Yes, we don't know who sits next to us. We all need to care for one another, or as the Lord said, "love one another, as I have loved you." Blessings, Kay.
Comment from RodG
It is easy to see Judith when the Speaker finds her. You evoke sympathy for this bright child whose parents may or may not have cared about her. More so, we applaud her friend who took her in.
Your use of ABAB rhyme trips you up a bit in the last two stanzas. I do wish you had not paused to preach and instead brought us up to date on Judith.
Your last two stanzas are much better and give us a happy ending.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
It is easy to see Judith when the Speaker finds her. You evoke sympathy for this bright child whose parents may or may not have cared about her. More so, we applaud her friend who took her in.
Your use of ABAB rhyme trips you up a bit in the last two stanzas. I do wish you had not paused to preach and instead brought us up to date on Judith.
Your last two stanzas are much better and give us a happy ending.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
-
Rod, Thanks for reading. If I am guilty of preaching, it wasn't intentional. I will re look at it. Now, I have changed the last stanza if you would be kind enough to re-look at "Judith" thank you, Kay.
-
I am delighted to retread this and feel you have done Judith a great turn. I added a star. I hope that comes through. Your revision earned it. Rod
Comment from jlsavell
Hello Kace,
A wonderful philosophical poem. Is this true. You know this is trite, but a kind heart in love with loving kindness isctrue beauty. I know stunning people, that is a first sight, but their character and actions make them ugly and vice versa I know average but their character or lack there of makes them ugly, and I know those who are truly ugly inside and out. Flip, I know many or most, who wouldnot win a beauty contest by todays standards, but you get to know their loving heart and they are incredibly beautiful. I know a few but very few with loks that could kill, but tgere loving heart and humbleness make them jaw dropping. Perhaps beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but real beauty is derived for exemplary character and a loving heart all the time.
Well done
Jimi
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
Hello Kace,
A wonderful philosophical poem. Is this true. You know this is trite, but a kind heart in love with loving kindness isctrue beauty. I know stunning people, that is a first sight, but their character and actions make them ugly and vice versa I know average but their character or lack there of makes them ugly, and I know those who are truly ugly inside and out. Flip, I know many or most, who wouldnot win a beauty contest by todays standards, but you get to know their loving heart and they are incredibly beautiful. I know a few but very few with loks that could kill, but tgere loving heart and humbleness make them jaw dropping. Perhaps beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but real beauty is derived for exemplary character and a loving heart all the time.
Well done
Jimi
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
-
Hello Jimi. We don't know who sits next to us. It could be a homeless man who once was a Professor. Thank you for reading. Jesus said, "love one another as I have loved you." I try to live His words. She was a school mate when I was fifteen. Love, Kay.