Mary's Reflection
A woman's despair while looking into a mirror17 total reviews
Comment from Sandollar
You nailed it. You made Mary comes to life in the story and there were some very poignant parts. Thanks for the synopsis at the end. Good luck in the contest.
Sandollar
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016
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You nailed it. You made Mary comes to life in the story and there were some very poignant parts. Thanks for the synopsis at the end. Good luck in the contest.
Sandollar
Comment Written 10-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this little story. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Mary Wakeford
Hi Brett, I did not realize Cody's Corner was you until I came to return the favor of review on your page.
This was a sad but excellent read, and one I imagine plays over and over again throughout many families.
You have set the imagery and the characters with just enough description that most readers will
be able to identify with Mary's situation and ultimate revenge.
Well done!
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Hi Brett, I did not realize Cody's Corner was you until I came to return the favor of review on your page.
This was a sad but excellent read, and one I imagine plays over and over again throughout many families.
You have set the imagery and the characters with just enough description that most readers will
be able to identify with Mary's situation and ultimate revenge.
Well done!
Comment Written 29-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this little story. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from rmj09
This answers the requirements of the contest.
The focus is Mary has little time left due to her cancer.
The story line development: Mary looks at herself in the mirror and remembers the young vibrate women she had been before her cancer. She decides to make out her DNR and last will and testimony. She starts to feel weak and then cold, her chest hurts she feels this is the big one. She is satisfied that she got her will and DNR filled out. She thought of Rodney and how they would be together soon. as she started to die she thought of how she would die alone. None of her children or grandchildren were at her funeral. Yet they all showed for the reading of the will. To discover her 3million went to her dog Fifi.
The emotion felt joy she knew what er family was like and gave the money to the one who loved her for herself.
The narration showed us the fighting spirit of this lady who had been an actress and Drama Teacher also giving us a great mental picture of the character.
Keep on writing.
Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
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This answers the requirements of the contest.
The focus is Mary has little time left due to her cancer.
The story line development: Mary looks at herself in the mirror and remembers the young vibrate women she had been before her cancer. She decides to make out her DNR and last will and testimony. She starts to feel weak and then cold, her chest hurts she feels this is the big one. She is satisfied that she got her will and DNR filled out. She thought of Rodney and how they would be together soon. as she started to die she thought of how she would die alone. None of her children or grandchildren were at her funeral. Yet they all showed for the reading of the will. To discover her 3million went to her dog Fifi.
The emotion felt joy she knew what er family was like and gave the money to the one who loved her for herself.
The narration showed us the fighting spirit of this lady who had been an actress and Drama Teacher also giving us a great mental picture of the character.
Keep on writing.
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this little story.
Attempted to capture the unfortunate situation many people find themselves in, and how they are turned away from, in crisis situations like having terminal cancer.
Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from mfowler
I really enjoyed this imaginative interpretation of the woman in the mirror. There must be so many people like Mary out there. Abandoned by family, dying alone in a hospital with no one in particular to care. It would send your thoughts into tail spin as it does here with Mary. Memories of sadness, of people loved, of things that can't return like stage fame, would flood your mind, and depress you. Especially if you know you're dying. Even her ever hopeful news of remission of the cancer is part of that self-delusion. Essentially, this piece is a character study built around a simple narrative. That she leaves her dog all of her money is a fine ending, and in some ways the perfect way to finish this bitterly sad tale. I've been watching your characters develop as you write novels, Brett, and I have to say you are getting skilled at drawing pictures of them through your writing. You involve readers really well through emotion and detail. I hope you do well with this.
Suggestions:
diamond sapphires...this combination is a bit incongruous as they are two different forms of gem. May I suggest something like: diamond sparklers; or twinkling emeralds.
once upon a long time ago ... This expression suggest fairy tales. May I suggest simply: once long time ago
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
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I really enjoyed this imaginative interpretation of the woman in the mirror. There must be so many people like Mary out there. Abandoned by family, dying alone in a hospital with no one in particular to care. It would send your thoughts into tail spin as it does here with Mary. Memories of sadness, of people loved, of things that can't return like stage fame, would flood your mind, and depress you. Especially if you know you're dying. Even her ever hopeful news of remission of the cancer is part of that self-delusion. Essentially, this piece is a character study built around a simple narrative. That she leaves her dog all of her money is a fine ending, and in some ways the perfect way to finish this bitterly sad tale. I've been watching your characters develop as you write novels, Brett, and I have to say you are getting skilled at drawing pictures of them through your writing. You involve readers really well through emotion and detail. I hope you do well with this.
Suggestions:
diamond sapphires...this combination is a bit incongruous as they are two different forms of gem. May I suggest something like: diamond sparklers; or twinkling emeralds.
once upon a long time ago ... This expression suggest fairy tales. May I suggest simply: once long time ago
Comment Written 26-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
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Once again appreciate your in depth comments and support.
Wanted to paint a picture of the reality some people face in a situation like Mary's.
As you said in your comments, people may be surprised to find out just how many "Marys" there are out there in the real world who experience their last days in ways very similar to hers -- all alone with no one who seems to care.
Comment from Shelli 1
I feel that I'm not worthy of reviewing your work for I'm just a amateur. This piece was sad and moving and made me grateful that I have great relationships with my family, no matter who loves me or not I know I love my mom and she loves me, this piece gives me food for thought
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
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I feel that I'm not worthy of reviewing your work for I'm just a amateur. This piece was sad and moving and made me grateful that I have great relationships with my family, no matter who loves me or not I know I love my mom and she loves me, this piece gives me food for thought
Comment Written 26-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale.
Thanks for the 6 Stars!
Attempted with this story to capture the unfortunate situation some people face in times of crisis.
Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from nor84
Having read the rules, I believe the sponsor's questions have to be brought out in the body of the story, not in the author notes. Could be it's OK, but you do have a problem with the word count. Minimum word count is 700 words, and that means in the story itself.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Having read the rules, I believe the sponsor's questions have to be brought out in the body of the story, not in the author notes. Could be it's OK, but you do have a problem with the word count. Minimum word count is 700 words, and that means in the story itself.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Perhaps you should get a new counter as there are 739 words in this story.
Therefore, your review holds absolutely no credence to me at all.
Do enjoy the Member Cents and spend them wisely.
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A rude reply just rolls off my back. My purpose was to alert you to what I perceived as a possible problem for you. Won't effect me at all if you turn out to be wrong.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Brett. Well done on this tragic, but all too often true tale mate. As far as I can see you've nailed all of the requirements for the contest and I wish you good luck in it.
I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall to see the family's faces lol.
Great work.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
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G'day Brett. Well done on this tragic, but all too often true tale mate. As far as I can see you've nailed all of the requirements for the contest and I wish you good luck in it.
I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall to see the family's faces lol.
Great work.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 13-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
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Wouldn't it have been a pleasure to be a fly on that wall and see their reactions to what Mary did?
Glad you enjoyed this little tale.
Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from create4christ
This is a very sad story. I had to do a fist pump at the end, though...so glad to hear her brats, who couldn't even be bothered to show up at her funeral, got NOTHING. BTW, I love your picture.
Thank you for sharing...Penny
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
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This is a very sad story. I had to do a fist pump at the end, though...so glad to hear her brats, who couldn't even be bothered to show up at her funeral, got NOTHING. BTW, I love your picture.
Thank you for sharing...Penny
Comment Written 12-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale.
Would have been enjoyable to be a fly on the wall in the same room where her brats found out they got no inheritances from Mary.
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Sure would've!! Lol
Comment from misscookie
My heart goes out to Mary
And I to can relate I was blessed with for children The one who was able to do more was not married or had children which was no excuse.
I care for my mother with bad back and the slow stages of several strokes.
She left everything to my sister which I didn't care.
I told her while she was living if she want to help me do it now so we both can have shared her blessing with cheer I don't want her death money.
For God supplies all my needs.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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My heart goes out to Mary
And I to can relate I was blessed with for children The one who was able to do more was not married or had children which was no excuse.
I care for my mother with bad back and the slow stages of several strokes.
She left everything to my sister which I didn't care.
I told her while she was living if she want to help me do it now so we both can have shared her blessing with cheer I don't want her death money.
For God supplies all my needs.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale misscookie. In the worst times is when a person needs those closest to them.
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You're so right.
Cookie
Comment from Ricky1024
Thanks so much for your poetry.
Tis Beauty truly Skin Deep?"
!As this ex beauty...
"Life hath taken it's toll...
"AS SHE SEARCHED FOREVER FOR...
"Her lost Soul...
Ricky 1024.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2016
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Thanks so much for your poetry.
Tis Beauty truly Skin Deep?"
!As this ex beauty...
"Life hath taken it's toll...
"AS SHE SEARCHED FOREVER FOR...
"Her lost Soul...
Ricky 1024.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this piece. Your comments and support appreciated.
