Comment from johnwilson

Excellent

Deserving of a sixth star, this piece is beautiful. No need for a picture to complement or an edit. "send the spray of broken water dancing through the air" is what poetry is all about. And the ending is perfect. I loved it and will bookmark it for my private shelf-full. Thank you so much!

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2016

Thank you very much. The book-marking is a great compliment, perhaps even greater than that sixth star.

Steve

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This sonnet, Wild Horses, brings the reader, with nicely metered and rhyming lines, into the brisk frolicking of the unreined steeds that we admire. Had to check you on the irregular use of roofs, but found you are error free.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2016

Thanks, Bill.

I did add a note about the use of 'rooves' but had to take it off as it was against the contest conditions.

Steve

Comment from bichonfrisegirl

Excellent

A very nice English Sonnet, Steve.

One can almost feel themselves free as the horses, so vivid is your imagery!
"Across the creek they gallop, send the spray
of broken water dancing through the air" ... it makes one want to join them!

Very, very nice!

Connie

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2016

Thanks, Connie. You picked out my favourite lines as well!

Steve

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Hello Steve;
-the artistically written virtually and beautifully pictorial essence of the wild horses in this piece of poetry sufficiently and vividly describes demonstratively the beauty and definitively expressive wonderment of wild horses. You have given life through words of their wondrous beauty and the fascinating wildness: "Across the creek they gallop, send the spray a broken water dancing through the air. They leap to clear the falling tree, a way they dash, so free of human woe and care." Just in this verse you capture the relative freedom that they so enjoy and the effervescence of their carefree nature as they partake in romping and showing off their freedom.
-None of your rhyming words are forced to labor which help in the fluidity of your reading and your writing.
-Each of your rhyming words are contingent and supportive to the meaning and concept of each and all your lines therefore making your rhythm to flow smoothly.
-Your sonnet's rhythmic meter is iambic pentameter and along with the cadence and timing was helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and very easy.
-What a picture you created in our reader's minds as you developed a very pictorial imagery that is very fervent and exceptionally realistic in our minds.
-Thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always for most of all good luck in the contest.
Alex

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016

Alex, thank you very much for the fine review. You have captured the essence of what I was trying to convey, especially the 'pictorial' aspect of the poem.

I appreciate your time spent to review so thoroughly.

Steve

reply by krys123 on 11-Jul-2016

You are very welcome Steve.
Alex

Comment from Dawn Munro

Exceptional

I don't see how this poem could be improved,
except I'm not sure "rooves" would be approved
in my fair land, the British Isles' sweet 'maid';
in Canada, where soldiers sent to raid,
stole land from those who treated with respect
the property the Brits would soon neglect.

:))

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016

Dawn, thanks for your imaginative and poetic response.

I reckon we still say 'rooves' even when we spell it 'roofs'!

Steve

reply by Dawn Munro on 08-Jul-2016

My pleasure. :)

Comment from brenda bickers

Excellent

Hi Steve,
there is something mesmerizing about watching horses gallop and run free.
This sonnet has great imagery and was beautiful to read.
Good luck in the contest.
Brenda:))x

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016

Thanks, Brenda. That is indeed something of what I wanted to capture here.

Steve

Comment from cterp

Excellent

Wow, rooves. Haven't seen that word in a long time. Good one!

I like the idea of a whinny waking the entire valley. You can hear how deep the silence must have been.

There's some nice alliteration (crimson/crests; restless/run; hear/hooves, etc) that complements the lovely rhyming and meter. The closing couplet rounds it all out very nicely.

Great sonnet--and I'm most definitely not a horse person.

Good luck in the contest

chris

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016

Thank you.

I did have a note explaining that rooves was an older form of the now preferred roofs, but I had to remove it sonce the contest conditions did not allow for notes. I see spell-check doesn't like it!

This ended up being a bit of a rush job, but I am pleased with the outcome...

Steve

Comment from Marykelly

Excellent

There is an energy in this poem that lets the reader almost hear the horses' hooves and see their rapid run. The moment is well described with vivid imagery and the message is the longing to be as free as the wild horses. The form follows the requirements of a sonnet. Technically, the last line should say, that I too were a horse, because it is the subjunctive case.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016

Thanks again, Mary.

Yes, I tried to capture the beautiful scenery as well as the vitality of the galloping herd. I only had an hour or so to complete this due to other commitments, but sometimes that deadline pressure can work wonders!

I do know all about the subjunctive, having both learnt and taught French and Latin. Here, I think I'll stick with the more commonly used, although technically incorrect, form. You are the only reviewer to catch that!

Steve

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

Sad that even the best friend to homo sapiens, his oldest companion on the long journey from the jungles--along with the dog--still seems happier without him. No nits to pick with this sonnet.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016

Thank you.

Indeed, man and horse have had a long relationship!

Steve

Comment from Lynn27

Excellent

This is a great poem. I loved your lines full of details that drew me piece. I just loved horses.

Good luck in the contest,

Lynn

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016

Thanks, Lynn. Glad you enjoyed.

Steve