Home and Family Treasures
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "White on White"Poems about my family members and memories of home
35 total reviews
Comment from Ginger Banks
You provide such wonderful word pictures! I'm so impressed and moved by your poem. the singsong voice and the lovely heart-felt emotions make this poem an excellent read, thank you so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016
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You provide such wonderful word pictures! I'm so impressed and moved by your poem. the singsong voice and the lovely heart-felt emotions make this poem an excellent read, thank you so much for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016
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Ginger,
Thank you so much for the very specific comments and for the fine rating that you gave my poem. I am glad that you enjoyed such things as the word pictures, rhythm and emotions of the poem. That is encouraging!
Cynthia1
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You're most welcome - they are my favorite kinds of poems.
Comment from harmony13
Excellent Poem! A beautiful tribute to your father. The author's words are
heart felt, creative and inspirational. I thought about my Dad the cemetery stones
were the same as shown in this artwork. The artwork complimented the theme and words of this poem. Thank you, harmony13
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016
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Excellent Poem! A beautiful tribute to your father. The author's words are
heart felt, creative and inspirational. I thought about my Dad the cemetery stones
were the same as shown in this artwork. The artwork complimented the theme and words of this poem. Thank you, harmony13
Comment Written 16-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016
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Thank you for the very positive review of my work. I thought the artwork expressed so well what I was trying to convey with words. Thank you
Comment from Dean Kuch
There are a lot of references to the color white here, Cynthia. I have no doubt that it's not merely by coincidence.
White is the color most commonly associated with purity and peace (a white dove for example). As such, so are the memories of your youth and your father, on whom your poignant free verse poem is based.
The "feel" of this well written ode to fatherhood, particular your own, is peaceful and serene, tender and loving.
Very well expressed and most definitely emotive.
Quite lovely...
~Dean
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016
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There are a lot of references to the color white here, Cynthia. I have no doubt that it's not merely by coincidence.
White is the color most commonly associated with purity and peace (a white dove for example). As such, so are the memories of your youth and your father, on whom your poignant free verse poem is based.
The "feel" of this well written ode to fatherhood, particular your own, is peaceful and serene, tender and loving.
Very well expressed and most definitely emotive.
Quite lovely...
~Dean
Comment Written 16-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much for your positive review of my work. I do appreciate the particular things you address. These will help me as I continue to work toward improving my work. You have given me much confidence in what I am attempting to do. Writing poetry is somewhat new to me- although I have dabbled with it a bit over the years. This is my second submission to Fan Story and I really appreciate the helpful comments I have received.
Cynthia1
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You did a fabulous job of it.
You're more than welcome.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Oh I do wish I had a six.
This flows with the pride and memories of a devoted child to her father.
The descriptions you gave were utterly peaceful and given with loving memory.
Excellent piece
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016
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Oh I do wish I had a six.
This flows with the pride and memories of a devoted child to her father.
The descriptions you gave were utterly peaceful and given with loving memory.
Excellent piece
Comment Written 16-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016
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Thank you so very much for the lovely words. I am happy that the poem conveyed a feeling of peace for the reader. That is important to me.
Comment from rjuselius
this is an exquisite piece of poetry dear cynthia! the sheer wording is next to genius. and the sentiment you leave behind is that of a sorrowful and betrayed heart. love it! wow!
thank you for sharing!
blessings!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016
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this is an exquisite piece of poetry dear cynthia! the sheer wording is next to genius. and the sentiment you leave behind is that of a sorrowful and betrayed heart. love it! wow!
thank you for sharing!
blessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 15-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2016
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How lovely of you to share such high praise with me! I of course am elated with the six star rating! This review encourages me and give me confidence to continue on my writing journey. Thank you!
Comment from enitsalemap
This is a beautiful love poem, a tribute to your father. It is elegant and pure and tells his story of a life lived well and within the boundaries of his faith. He passed a wonderful legacy of love to you because it shows in your words chosen for him. Delightful, sweet and filled with hope for the eternal.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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This is a beautiful love poem, a tribute to your father. It is elegant and pure and tells his story of a life lived well and within the boundaries of his faith. He passed a wonderful legacy of love to you because it shows in your words chosen for him. Delightful, sweet and filled with hope for the eternal.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much for your very positive review. It is quite complimentary and encourages me to write more. I notice on your profile that you are quite accomplished which makes me even more happy to read your words. Thank you!
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you are welcome.
Comment from Pantygynt
An excellent free verse tribute to your father. A young man like any other chasing the butterflies and later the girls -- I was reminded here of that song lyric line "... the wild elusive butterfly of love..."
Later he changes and becomes a hard working rural minister. I love the white imagery of purity that runs through the whole piece.
Well put together.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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An excellent free verse tribute to your father. A young man like any other chasing the butterflies and later the girls -- I was reminded here of that song lyric line "... the wild elusive butterfly of love..."
Later he changes and becomes a hard working rural minister. I love the white imagery of purity that runs through the whole piece.
Well put together.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much for your very positive comments about my poem. I am a new member of Fan Story and it is thrilling to receive feedback on your writing. Thank you.
Comment from Lisa Deverick
This is a fine tribute to your father. Your words chosen carefully show and express the love have for him. Sounds like he was a good man. well done
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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This is a fine tribute to your father. Your words chosen carefully show and express the love have for him. Sounds like he was a good man. well done
Comment Written 14-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Thank you for your review and for the excellent rating. Yes, my father was a fine man. I hope I did him justice. Thank you again.
Comment from frogbook
Wow, this is just beautiful with it's journey through each stanza of vivid description and comparisons. Thought provoking and exceptional in beautiful form.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Wow, this is just beautiful with it's journey through each stanza of vivid description and comparisons. Thought provoking and exceptional in beautiful form.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Thank you so very much! I know that you are limited in the number of 6 stars you can reward so I am thrilled that you thought my poem was worthy of one. Your review was very helpful since you noted specific things you enjoyed such as my descriptions and comparisons. This will be helpful to me as I continue to write
Comment from RodG
This poem gives a surprisingly complete bio of a rural minister who is now old and looking back over a lifetime.
I like how you take the reader back and forth, using the white crosses/napkins to launch into brief scenes.
You evoke both sympathy and admiration for this man who lov d, preached, and sadly buried his flock.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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This poem gives a surprisingly complete bio of a rural minister who is now old and looking back over a lifetime.
I like how you take the reader back and forth, using the white crosses/napkins to launch into brief scenes.
You evoke both sympathy and admiration for this man who lov d, preached, and sadly buried his flock.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much for the very specific comments and the fine rating of my poem. I am glad that you liked the imagery used through white crosses/napkins. Very helpful review.
