Fourth of July Disaster
A life and death struggle10 total reviews
Comment from Judy Couch
Excellent story. You held the suspense for a long time. I was glad when you said that your dad had survived. I agree that nothing happens by accident. God knows about it and allows it to happen.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Excellent story. You held the suspense for a long time. I was glad when you said that your dad had survived. I agree that nothing happens by accident. God knows about it and allows it to happen.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Thanks, Judy, for reviewing my contest entry. I am glad you liked it. My mother told it to me on the 4th of July and
I thought it needed to be told. Thank you so much for the six star rating. My mom will be so proud. :o)
Jo
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
What a harrowing ordeal to have gone through! Your account is well-penned and follows a logical sequence of events. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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What a harrowing ordeal to have gone through! Your account is well-penned and follows a logical sequence of events. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Susanne, for your kind words and well wishes on my mother's story. I did take second place. :o)
Jo
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Congratulations on your win! Easy to see why it did...God bless and hugs, Susanne
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Congratulations on your win! Easy to see why it did...God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment from Brett Matthew West
In this day and age it pays to be prepared to meet our Maker.
As long as people remember my adage of "Cast your vote for Jesus. Keep your eyes on Calvary" everything else takes care of itself come what may.
Well written story once again proves this adage is so true.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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In this day and age it pays to be prepared to meet our Maker.
As long as people remember my adage of "Cast your vote for Jesus. Keep your eyes on Calvary" everything else takes care of itself come what may.
Well written story once again proves this adage is so true.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Cody, for your kind words. Yes, Jesus, is the answer. I am so glad He is on our side !
Jo
Comment from giraffmang
hi there,
Truly a miraculous tale of overcoming adversity in the worst possible conditions.
we have to pull
Teeny in to shore." - there is an unfortunate line break I the middle of this dialogue and should start with a capital even if it comes in the middle of a sentence, you do this several times.
to keep the boat a float - afloat.
wind over turned it.- overturned.
He had given all the life jackets to us. He was not wearing a life jacket - the second sentence is a bit redundant.
We could have all drown that night - drowned.
Best of luck
GMG
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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hi there,
Truly a miraculous tale of overcoming adversity in the worst possible conditions.
we have to pull
Teeny in to shore." - there is an unfortunate line break I the middle of this dialogue and should start with a capital even if it comes in the middle of a sentence, you do this several times.
to keep the boat a float - afloat.
wind over turned it.- overturned.
He had given all the life jackets to us. He was not wearing a life jacket - the second sentence is a bit redundant.
We could have all drown that night - drowned.
Best of luck
GMG
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much for your review and catching my goofs. I wrote this in 20 minutes and afraid I didn't proof read very well. I'll go back and correct.
Jo
Comment from MTF1955
That was a great but frightening story. It's true that we know not when our time will be up. But the Lord died for sinners and he is always there to listen and answer out prayers even our unspoken ones. Mary
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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That was a great but frightening story. It's true that we know not when our time will be up. But the Lord died for sinners and he is always there to listen and answer out prayers even our unspoken ones. Mary
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Mary, thank you for your words of wisdom and kind review of my work.
Jo
Comment from Ginger Banks
An incredible story of not only the power behind God's creation, and his ability to calm us in the storm, should we ask Him. I'm glad your dad was saved from drowning that night, God did intervene on his behalf, in this there is no doubt. One of my favorite sayings is: Don't tell God how big the storm is, tell the storm how big our God is! Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece. Only one SPaGs:
"... this is it,[;] they're going to tell me that... "
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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An incredible story of not only the power behind God's creation, and his ability to calm us in the storm, should we ask Him. I'm glad your dad was saved from drowning that night, God did intervene on his behalf, in this there is no doubt. One of my favorite sayings is: Don't tell God how big the storm is, tell the storm how big our God is! Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece. Only one SPaGs:
"... this is it,[;] they're going to tell me that... "
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Ginger, for catching my SPaG. I will correct. I am glad you liked my mom's story.
Jo
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Spitfire
The ending is confusing. Apparently the narrator is your mother not you. Maybe you should mention it at the end.
Two dilemmas make the drama more intense. First Teeny with the artificial leg and the effort to help him which led to your dad's perilous fight to stay alive. This would definitely convince me that is a higher power working to help us.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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The ending is confusing. Apparently the narrator is your mother not you. Maybe you should mention it at the end.
Two dilemmas make the drama more intense. First Teeny with the artificial leg and the effort to help him which led to your dad's perilous fight to stay alive. This would definitely convince me that is a higher power working to help us.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Thank you for your review. I'm sorry the end seemed confusing for you. Isn't it funny how things that seem perfectly
clear to us can sometimes NOT be so clear to someone else. Next time. :o)
Jo
Comment from nancy_e_davis
That is true you never know. We had two of the young men in our family die accidentally back in the eighties. They were in their thirties. I believe we have guardian angels and they
watch over us if we stay tuned in to them. Good story. Glad you Dad lived. Nancy
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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That is true you never know. We had two of the young men in our family die accidentally back in the eighties. They were in their thirties. I believe we have guardian angels and they
watch over us if we stay tuned in to them. Good story. Glad you Dad lived. Nancy
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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I definitely know we have guardian angels watching us. I have never seen mine but look forward someday
meeting him/them. They sure have kept me out of a lot of trouble. My husband has seen his and he says they
are HUGE.
Jo
Comment from William Ross
very good, that's right he thought of asking God for help, God knows all our thoughts. very good on the writing I see no spags a really good story, thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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very good, that's right he thought of asking God for help, God knows all our thoughts. very good on the writing I see no spags a really good story, thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Thank you, William, for your review of my story. I appreciate the comments.
Jo
Comment from LisaD123
This is an excellent working of the prompt. The scene is set perfectly and the reader is not expecting the drama which unfolds. The effects of the storm keeps the reader hooked and the tension is very well-written and described. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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This is an excellent working of the prompt. The scene is set perfectly and the reader is not expecting the drama which unfolds. The effects of the storm keeps the reader hooked and the tension is very well-written and described. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Lisa, for your well -wishes for the contest. It took second place! I am glad you liked the story.
Jo
