Comment from create4christ

Excellent

I love this story. I don't usually care for blood and gore, but this book has been so compelling. I'm anxious to read on! Good luck with your MAKE US WANT TO READ MORE contest entry. ..Well done.

Thank you for sharing. ..Penny

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2016

Glad you enjoyed this little tale.

Leads right into my third book in this series.

Your comments and support appreciated.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Of course he rescues COdy. Duh. No question about it. Other than the weak ending it was a good, if short, chapter. It's my last review for a while too... need sleep. zzzzzzzzz...

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2016

Weak ending?

I thought it was a good chapter, but it appears in more cases than just this one that perhaps it does not come across that way.

Ideas for strengthening it?

Your comments and support appreciated.

Comment from cgpeoples

Good

Definitely had me on the edge of my seat and an excellent start. For me the name Bee-bo didn't flow very well with the rest even though it does fit the image of a clowns name LOL so that's probably just my preference.
Good luck with the book and God Bless!

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016

So let me see if I understand this correctly.

"Definitely had me on the edge of my seat and an excellent start".

"the name Bee-Bo didn't flow very well with the rest even though it does fit the image of a clowns name LOL so that's probably my preference".

So it cost me a star in this review?

Makes a lot of sense to me...not!

Comment from giraffmang

Good

Hi there,

I think you run the risk of disqualification here in this piece as you have very clearly identified yourself to the readers by pointing them in the direction of your other works.

This is against the rules and I would suggest deleting the corresponding author's notes and the bracketed introduction to make this much less obvious.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016

Giraff,

I could certainly do that, but since my Cody Schroder stories are the most popular on FanStory today, as many FanStorians keep telling me, I would have to delete the entire entry from the contest for no one to know who wrote it.

So, I suppose I will allow the Contest Committee to make that fateful decision. If they disqualify it they disqualify it. Not much I can do about that except post it and continue writing my third Cody Schroder book.

Seems your review rating was because of your opinion about my entry's validity for meeting the contest requirements , and did not have anything to do with the actual story itself, so I will take this one with a certain grain of salt.

However, I encourage you to follow along as the story progresses and keep the reviews coming. They are most certainly appreciated.

The next chapter in the third book is called Break-In and the one after that will be called Alphabet.

reply by giraffmang on 16-Jul-2016

I do have to wonder if you actually believe that this is the most popular series running on the site or not. Or if it is just a way of drumming up more business for the series. I am trying to be arrogant or mean here but if you truly believe this then I think a reality check may be order. You first book in the series averaged 7.3 reviews per chapter. The current 'Missing' book is averagin 12.8 per chapter. You are an intelligent man and a good writer but don't fall into the trap of believing of your own press as this has the danger of stopping you developing your craft. My own current series averages 25.2 reviews per chapter. I mention this to show a counterbalance. I have been told it's a best seller in the making and so and so forth. Doesn't mean I believe it or mention it at every opportunity. Good writing is good writing though. There are many other writers who average all time bests with their stories and novels. I would just be careful of believing your own hype. The figures don't back up that belief I am afraid. I enjoy your stories and the writing is consistently good. Take my review with a grain of salt if you like. It doesn't bother me. I am only interested in helping and have no axe to grind with anyone. But the rules clearly state there should be no means of identifying yourself.

reply by giraffmang on 16-Jul-2016

That of course should me NOT trying to be arrogant or mean.

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

You stopped this like someone about to jump off the cliff and then the movie runs
out. That would be the perfect finish to any story or chapter. Your story is clearly
the chapter following the last one I read. But, in the context of this prompt, it makes
a good start to a novel. And that is because it's tense, gives enough back story to
inform a new reader, and it's chockablock full of great action. When BeeBo says
that Cody is worth less than nothing to him, the chapter reaches a climax and we
know he'll let fly that fiery arrow. Really good piece for the contest. Best of luck.

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016

Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Insights are indepth. Your comments and support appreciated.

Comment from fimarie78

Excellent

I remember reading your previous instalments about Cody's journey. This definitely makes us want to read more. Cody has to be saved...
Good luck
Fiona

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016

Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

He better rescue Cody or you won't have him in your story anymore. He can catch Bee-Bo another day.
Great dialogue and scene description.
Bee-Bo has this set up as a loose win situation. The Sheriff has no choice.

I'd read more.

Good luck in the contest.

: ) e

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016

Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.

Comment from jzmudzinski

Needs Improvement

I like the basic premise, but the language feels stiff and overly formal. Engaging plot even though I haven't read the first two books.

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016

Before you give an uninformed review perhaps you should read the two books and get an idea of why this was written like it was and what you are blabbering off at the mouth about.

Your review has been given and I put absolutely no credence in your complete waste of time at all.

Enjoy the Member Cents, which is the only reason you reviewed this, and spend them wisely.