Astatula (Final Edition)
Viewing comments for Chapter 49 "Ground Meat - Part One"A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?
9 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Brett, another good chapter in which Dr Patterson gets more end more nervous and with good reason.
If I may suggest. You put all thoughts in double quotation marks. As it is not speech, thoughts should be in single quotation marks or in italics.
Only a couple miles remained = only a couple of miles remained
So he laid low = so he lay low. 'Laid' is past tense of 'to lay' whereas 'lay' is past tense of to 'lie'. To lie low becomes lay low in past tense
Looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2016
Hi Brett, another good chapter in which Dr Patterson gets more end more nervous and with good reason.
If I may suggest. You put all thoughts in double quotation marks. As it is not speech, thoughts should be in single quotation marks or in italics.
Only a couple miles remained = only a couple of miles remained
So he laid low = so he lay low. 'Laid' is past tense of 'to lay' whereas 'lay' is past tense of to 'lie'. To lie low becomes lay low in past tense
Looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 02-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Much more to come so stay tuned.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
So, I've backtracked on the chapters. I didn't realize I had missed this one. You really started cranking up the chill factor on this chapter, setting the stage for the next one where Bee-Bo exacts his revenge. Good thing Bee-Bo was so focussed on it that he might not have noticed the doc's explaination.
Good chapter,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
So, I've backtracked on the chapters. I didn't realize I had missed this one. You really started cranking up the chill factor on this chapter, setting the stage for the next one where Bee-Bo exacts his revenge. Good thing Bee-Bo was so focussed on it that he might not have noticed the doc's explaination.
Good chapter,
Rhonda
Comment Written 01-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Needed to depict Bee-Bo's character. Apparently, with the reviews I have received I accomplished that goal rather nicely.
-
Good for you!!!
Comment from MTF1955
Another wonderful chapter. What a despicable person. Hope BeeBo kills the stupid, greedy man.
made in your life how could you possibly have gotten involved with Bee-Be(bo) of all people?
"The little widget did wake up and by doing so he ruin(ed) everything!"
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
Another wonderful chapter. What a despicable person. Hope BeeBo kills the stupid, greedy man.
made in your life how could you possibly have gotten involved with Bee-Be(bo) of all people?
"The little widget did wake up and by doing so he ruin(ed) everything!"
Comment Written 30-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of this story. Stay tuned. Much more to come.
Comment from create4christ
Another good section to your novel. I hope Dr. Patterson doesn't put Cody back into danger...and BeeBo is more evil than I thought...sex slavery...evil incarnate!!
Thank you again for sharing...Penny
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016
Another good section to your novel. I hope Dr. Patterson doesn't put Cody back into danger...and BeeBo is more evil than I thought...sex slavery...evil incarnate!!
Thank you again for sharing...Penny
Comment Written 29-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Since Bee-Bo is supposed to be so evil I decided to not only make him a mass murderer but to also give him another dimension: selling boys to the highest bidder. Stay tuned. Much more to come. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I knew there had to be a reason he was in the comma. I knew it.
I love the way you leave the questions unanswered to pick them up later.
Very nicely written
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016
I knew there had to be a reason he was in the comma. I knew it.
I love the way you leave the questions unanswered to pick them up later.
Very nicely written
Comment Written 29-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Brett, this chapter is a good one. Exposing Dr. Patterson for the scoundrel he is. I hope Bee-Bo kills him before he can tell him that Cody is alive, but this gives greater plot you your excellent story. I like this more every time I read this,,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016
Brett, this chapter is a good one. Exposing Dr. Patterson for the scoundrel he is. I hope Bee-Bo kills him before he can tell him that Cody is alive, but this gives greater plot you your excellent story. I like this more every time I read this,,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 29-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016
-
Glad you enjoy this story. Stay tunes. As you know much more to come.
Comment from MizKat
Hi Brett,
You sure get your chapters written quickly. This one was very interesting to read too. I was up all night trying to write a poem and FINALLY go it finished. With a constant headache and all kinds of aches and pains it's difficult for me to write anything. I such enjoy reading what you write though.
Kat
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016
Hi Brett,
You sure get your chapters written quickly. This one was very interesting to read too. I was up all night trying to write a poem and FINALLY go it finished. With a constant headache and all kinds of aches and pains it's difficult for me to write anything. I such enjoy reading what you write though.
Kat
Comment Written 29-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.
-
You are a great writer and I love to read your work. Kat
Comment from Sankey
Wow! This is an interesting turn. Bringing up new angles and all that. Plenty of excitement still to come I guess. Thanks, good work. Now one spag.He h[el](a)d a real good
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016
Wow! This is an interesting turn. Bringing up new angles and all that. Plenty of excitement still to come I guess. Thanks, good work. Now one spag.He h[el](a)d a real good
Comment Written 29-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016
-
Have to bring up new angles to keep the story interesting. Glad you enjoyed this portion. Stay tuned. Much more to come.
Comment from barkingdog
The doctor's figured out that Cody's not dead. Now, will Bee-Bo believe him?
The plot becomes more and more complicated.
Will Bee-Bo kill the doctor or use him to find Cody? No one has suspected the doctor's involvement. He could spy.
You have me guessing. That's good.
:) e
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016
The doctor's figured out that Cody's not dead. Now, will Bee-Bo believe him?
The plot becomes more and more complicated.
Will Bee-Bo kill the doctor or use him to find Cody? No one has suspected the doctor's involvement. He could spy.
You have me guessing. That's good.
:) e
Comment Written 29-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Much more to come so stay tuned. Your comments and support appreciated.