Ticking Monster
Shakespearean Sonnet29 total reviews
Comment from damommy
What little I know about sonnets, I think this is wonderful.
"See there, that ticking monster on the wall. Oh, how he grins to have the upper hand." I never thought of time as a monster before, but the way you tell it, it seems that it is so.
Time seems to fly by when things are pleasant, but drag when they're not. I guess it's all relative.
Beautiful wording, with perfect rhyme and meter. Good luck in the contest. 8-)
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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What little I know about sonnets, I think this is wonderful.
"See there, that ticking monster on the wall. Oh, how he grins to have the upper hand." I never thought of time as a monster before, but the way you tell it, it seems that it is so.
Time seems to fly by when things are pleasant, but drag when they're not. I guess it's all relative.
Beautiful wording, with perfect rhyme and meter. Good luck in the contest. 8-)
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the very kind words and all the lovely stars.
Steve
Comment from krys123
Hello Steve;
-I enjoyed your very well formatted sonnet were rhyming and Iambic rhythm were done to perfection. Is a very uplifting sonnet which I totally enjoyed and was very entertained by reading it. This uplifting sonnet Was due to your writing mentioning the fact that there is a monster of time and no matter if you fail to win by killing this monster the enjoyment will be all for awaiting you with the mysteries and enjoyment of going through time.
-None of your rhyming words were forced or labored and were helpful in the fluidity of your writing.
-Each of your rhyming words with contingent and supported to the meaning and concept of each and all of your lines therefore making your rhythm to flow smoothly.
-Rhythmic meter being iambic pentameter and your cadence, timing and Tempo whirl helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and very easy.
-The picture of the timepiece was very appropriate, relative and supportive to the conceptual theme of your writing.
-Good luck in the contest and make a good Lord be with you always.
Alex
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Hello Steve;
-I enjoyed your very well formatted sonnet were rhyming and Iambic rhythm were done to perfection. Is a very uplifting sonnet which I totally enjoyed and was very entertained by reading it. This uplifting sonnet Was due to your writing mentioning the fact that there is a monster of time and no matter if you fail to win by killing this monster the enjoyment will be all for awaiting you with the mysteries and enjoyment of going through time.
-None of your rhyming words were forced or labored and were helpful in the fluidity of your writing.
-Each of your rhyming words with contingent and supported to the meaning and concept of each and all of your lines therefore making your rhythm to flow smoothly.
-Rhythmic meter being iambic pentameter and your cadence, timing and Tempo whirl helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and very easy.
-The picture of the timepiece was very appropriate, relative and supportive to the conceptual theme of your writing.
-Good luck in the contest and make a good Lord be with you always.
Alex
Comment Written 26-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Thanks, Alex.
I see you have a sonnet in this contest too, so good luck to you!
Steve
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Thank you for the good luck Steve and may you have the same.
Alex
Comment from LIJ Red
I read a description of a Shakespearean Sonnet somewhere. and this looks
like it follows the pattern, so from my vast and lofty pinnacle of scholastic clout, I pronounce it excellent...
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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I read a description of a Shakespearean Sonnet somewhere. and this looks
like it follows the pattern, so from my vast and lofty pinnacle of scholastic clout, I pronounce it excellent...
Comment Written 26-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Must be cold up there on that pinnacle!
Thanks for sharing the fruits of your clout!
Steve
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Steve,
this is my favourite form of poetry. You have written a wonderful piece on time and the workings of a clock that has such an affect on whatever we do. Time is what we make it and what we do with it.
Good luck in the contest.
Brenda:))x
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Hi Steve,
this is my favourite form of poetry. You have written a wonderful piece on time and the workings of a clock that has such an affect on whatever we do. Time is what we make it and what we do with it.
Good luck in the contest.
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 26-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Thanks, Brenda. Glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Galactia
Hi
This is an excellent written sonnet, perfect rhyme scheme, syllable count and written in perfect iambic pentameter. Life is so precious nd really liked your metaphores within stanza one.
See there, that ticking monster on the wall.
Oh, how he grins to have the upper hand.
For ev'ry tree that grows, one day, must fall -
The days, the months, the years, all flow like sand.
Time is the wicked monster..
Great job
Good luck in the contest
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Hi
This is an excellent written sonnet, perfect rhyme scheme, syllable count and written in perfect iambic pentameter. Life is so precious nd really liked your metaphores within stanza one.
See there, that ticking monster on the wall.
Oh, how he grins to have the upper hand.
For ev'ry tree that grows, one day, must fall -
The days, the months, the years, all flow like sand.
Time is the wicked monster..
Great job
Good luck in the contest
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 26-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Tia, thanks for the thoughtful review.
Steve
Comment from William Ross
very good, nice job on the sonnet, time waits for no man and goes to fast to not get out and enjoy life. Good luck on this and have a wonderful day
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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very good, nice job on the sonnet, time waits for no man and goes to fast to not get out and enjoy life. Good luck on this and have a wonderful day
Comment Written 26-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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William, thanks for the review and the good luck wishes.
Steve
Comment from humpwhistle
I've forgotten who said it originally, but 'We live in time as fish live in water.'
Even our heartbeats are measured by time--literally as well as figuratively.
I love the monster on the wall concept. The monster who drains us, saps us.
It's really an ironic concept. Time is the one thing we come into the world with.
Varying amounts, of course. But we're no sooner out of the canal that the meter is ticking.
Perhaps you're right. Love is the best distraction. One the hand (see what I did there), love may be the thing which gives time its most cruel power. To lose love is far worse than losing life.
Best of luck, Steve. There's still time.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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I've forgotten who said it originally, but 'We live in time as fish live in water.'
Even our heartbeats are measured by time--literally as well as figuratively.
I love the monster on the wall concept. The monster who drains us, saps us.
It's really an ironic concept. Time is the one thing we come into the world with.
Varying amounts, of course. But we're no sooner out of the canal that the meter is ticking.
Perhaps you're right. Love is the best distraction. One the hand (see what I did there), love may be the thing which gives time its most cruel power. To lose love is far worse than losing life.
Best of luck, Steve. There's still time.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 26-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Thanks, Lee. I suspect the closer I get to the end of my time, the more I focus on it. This started as more of a love poem, and ended, I thought, echoing Marvell's 'To His Coy Mistress' - in other words, better come up with the poontang now while there's still time (and while we're still both able). Nobody's commented on that aspect, though, so I must have been too darned subtle!
Steve
Comment from dragonpoet
This sonnet tells us time can't be harnessed but it can be enjoyed. We are all fated to die and if you love until you die that is loving forever. Unless of course you believe you will see your love again after death, then love can last forever.
We are all just very small pieces of the universe.
Good luck in the contest and keep writing.
Joan
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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This sonnet tells us time can't be harnessed but it can be enjoyed. We are all fated to die and if you love until you die that is loving forever. Unless of course you believe you will see your love again after death, then love can last forever.
We are all just very small pieces of the universe.
Good luck in the contest and keep writing.
Joan
Comment Written 26-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Joan, thanks for the thoughtful review.
Steve
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You're welcome. Always a pleasure to read your work.
Joan
Comment from w.j.debi
This is a creative look at the monster Time. He thinks he rules everything. Excellent line: Forever's past our petty reach.
I love the defiance after the turn in the third stanza with the invitation to come and defy Fate. Lovers can ignore the monster and keep their own measure of life. Come what may, life is to be lived.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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This is a creative look at the monster Time. He thinks he rules everything. Excellent line: Forever's past our petty reach.
I love the defiance after the turn in the third stanza with the invitation to come and defy Fate. Lovers can ignore the monster and keep their own measure of life. Come what may, life is to be lived.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Thank you. You nailed the meaning.
Steve
Comment from ciliverde
Nice job on this sonnet, Steve. It seems to match the theme of mine somewhat - that of time and our lack of control of if, and death. If you cared to, mine's called The Zephyr's Breath. Anyway - another expertly written sonnet from you. You've depicted time as a monster that constantly slips through our grasp. I especially like this line:
"Alas! Forever's past our petty reach."
It sure is! Well done,
Carol
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016
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Nice job on this sonnet, Steve. It seems to match the theme of mine somewhat - that of time and our lack of control of if, and death. If you cared to, mine's called The Zephyr's Breath. Anyway - another expertly written sonnet from you. You've depicted time as a monster that constantly slips through our grasp. I especially like this line:
"Alas! Forever's past our petty reach."
It sure is! Well done,
Carol
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016
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Thanks, Carol.
This started off somewhat differently, more as a love poem, but then the poem took over, as they often do.
I shall certainly take a look at yours, which I am sure will be good. There are a couple of new members in this contest too, including one other lady from my part of the world, and theirs are both great sonnets.
Steve
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Oh really? How do you know who entered the contest? I can't figure out how to find the entries.
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This is not a site contest and not blind, so you just go to the contest page and scroll right down to the bottom of the page. All the writers are listed with their entries. Looks like the contest is nearly full, which is great!
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Oh, I thought it was a site contest, oh well. I usually only enter the site contests, but that's okay.
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Oh really? How do you know who entered the contest? I can't figure out how to find the entries.
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Oh, I thought it was a site contest, oh well. I usually only enter the site contests, but that's okay.
