Astatula (Final Edition)
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Resentment - Part One"A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?
15 total reviews
Comment from Lynn27
I like the chapter and your writing is good. I am confused why you used a whole of chapter of backstory, and I don't know how this fits until character tells the reader.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
   |
I like the chapter and your writing is good. I am confused why you used a whole of chapter of backstory, and I don't know how this fits until character tells the reader.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
-
I didn't use one chapter I used two. Without following the story you would not realize why I needed to do this.
-
Brett, I have been following this from the beginning. A chapter nothing but backstory is a risky move.
Good luck with your story.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
I like your back story, and the setting up of the dynamics between Brock and Bee-Bo, the clown. Sometimes it helps to tell the story, sort of in the middle of things. Great literary technique.
Great job,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
|
I like your back story, and the setting up of the dynamics between Brock and Bee-Bo, the clown. Sometimes it helps to tell the story, sort of in the middle of things. Great literary technique.
Great job,
Rhonda
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story.
Comment from MizKat
Hi Brett,
This is another wonderful chapter that you have written. It is really interesting and I loved every word of it. It's so nice to read your work as you're always so good at writing this.
Kat
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
|
Hi Brett,
This is another wonderful chapter that you have written. It is really interesting and I loved every word of it. It's so nice to read your work as you're always so good at writing this.
Kat
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Much more to come.
-
I will surely be looking forward to reading it. Kat
Comment from MTF1955
Great Chapter. Now I understand the connection between Brock and BeeBo. great back story on them both. Spoiled rich kind never learned to lose as every else does. Can't wait to see what will happen next. This kept me spellbound. Mary
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
|
Great Chapter. Now I understand the connection between Brock and BeeBo. great back story on them both. Spoiled rich kind never learned to lose as every else does. Can't wait to see what will happen next. This kept me spellbound. Mary
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Much more to come so stay tuned.
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Brett I like this story that will clear up the mystery of who is Bee Bo the clown. You tell this story that has kept me reading from start to finish. How this Mark is one of those entitled kids, who thinks the world owes him.
I look forward to reading the second part. This is very good,,,,,,jim
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
|
Brett I like this story that will clear up the mystery of who is Bee Bo the clown. You tell this story that has kept me reading from start to finish. How this Mark is one of those entitled kids, who thinks the world owes him.
I look forward to reading the second part. This is very good,,,,,,jim
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Much more to come so stay tuned.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
this was nicely placed and finally a base to read on with.
the understanding of a spoiled child manifested by feeling second fiddle, made a start for a troubled youth
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
|
this was nicely placed and finally a base to read on with.
the understanding of a spoiled child manifested by feeling second fiddle, made a start for a troubled youth
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Much more to come so stay tuned.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Jealousy, envy, resentment all boiling up inside a spoiled boy against his best friend. A resentment that remained and festered a lifetime and came back to haunt the object of his displeasure. He will make an attempt at getting even. Well done Brett. Nancy
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
|
Jealousy, envy, resentment all boiling up inside a spoiled boy against his best friend. A resentment that remained and festered a lifetime and came back to haunt the object of his displeasure. He will make an attempt at getting even. Well done Brett. Nancy
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from create4christ
So, I gather, this is the whole reason for Mark's (BeeBo's) revenge on Brock? Boy!! This shows how spoiling children can REALLY mess up their psychies for life...another good section.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
|
So, I gather, this is the whole reason for Mark's (BeeBo's) revenge on Brock? Boy!! This shows how spoiling children can REALLY mess up their psychies for life...another good section.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
-
Not the whole reason. Much more to the story. Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story.
Comment from Ricky1024
As usual.Loved it brought back long ago memories.
Ricky
2www2xxv thy bdv cb dBm bn
gen nighmhmm
h hmm m
g non bn
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
 |
As usual.Loved it brought back long ago memories.
Ricky
2www2xxv thy bdv cb dBm bn
gen nighmhmm
h hmm m
g non bn
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Much more to come so stay tuned.
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Hi Brett,
I would say you are off to a good start on another fine story. I enjoyed this tale of two young boys from two walks of life. One of wealth, where getting everything he wants, has left him a spoiled , self-serving child. The other, who's father works for the company owned by the spoiled boys father, has a pretty good grip on life as it should be lived. Earn your way, have integrity in all you do and respect authority. Both fathers of the two had helped to form the character of the boys.
It will be interesting to see how the , once best friends, relationship develops now that resentment and jealousy has reared it's ugly head.
Well done,
:-) Carolyn
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
|
Hi Brett,
I would say you are off to a good start on another fine story. I enjoyed this tale of two young boys from two walks of life. One of wealth, where getting everything he wants, has left him a spoiled , self-serving child. The other, who's father works for the company owned by the spoiled boys father, has a pretty good grip on life as it should be lived. Earn your way, have integrity in all you do and respect authority. Both fathers of the two had helped to form the character of the boys.
It will be interesting to see how the , once best friends, relationship develops now that resentment and jealousy has reared it's ugly head.
Well done,
:-) Carolyn
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Much more to come so stay tuned.
