Purr-Fect Love
A story of a remarkable cat32 total reviews
Comment from KarisKathleen
I thought that you had a wonderful grasp of words and sentence fluency, the ending was perfect. But next time you might want to work on focusing on one moment instead of trying to get to the next. I think that you are very talented but need a little more work to be perfect. I liked how you described the kittens and there personality's. Just try to add a bit more detail and I have no doubt that you could publish a book someday. But the thing that touched me the most was the animals, I have to cats and a dog, and two guinea pigs. And right now we are dog sitting a small dog. So the animal part was very sweet for me. Great job and keep writing.
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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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I thought that you had a wonderful grasp of words and sentence fluency, the ending was perfect. But next time you might want to work on focusing on one moment instead of trying to get to the next. I think that you are very talented but need a little more work to be perfect. I liked how you described the kittens and there personality's. Just try to add a bit more detail and I have no doubt that you could publish a book someday. But the thing that touched me the most was the animals, I have to cats and a dog, and two guinea pigs. And right now we are dog sitting a small dog. So the animal part was very sweet for me. Great job and keep writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thank you. I am just starting a creative writing class. I'm 70 years old and have not written since high school (which was a very long time ago) I realize I need some help and appreciate comments like yours. Sorry, I have no more review votes for this month. Catch you next month.
Comment from zekeziemann
Wonderful story and very well told. I am not a cat person, but was raised on a farm and your first few paragraphs related experiences that I, too, have experienced.
Zeke
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Wonderful story and very well told. I am not a cat person, but was raised on a farm and your first few paragraphs related experiences that I, too, have experienced.
Zeke
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thank you. So very glad you enjoyed the story.
Comment from barkingdog
Are you sure that Zip was a cat? I think she was a person in disguise.
haha.
I love this sweet story. You wrote Zip into my heart.
Your post has great pacing and clear structure as you take it from finding the kittens to the placing of Zip's brother and then on to Zip finding her true calling--bringing cheer to your aunt and the other's at the nursing home.
Best of luck in the contest.
:) ellen
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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Are you sure that Zip was a cat? I think she was a person in disguise.
haha.
I love this sweet story. You wrote Zip into my heart.
Your post has great pacing and clear structure as you take it from finding the kittens to the placing of Zip's brother and then on to Zip finding her true calling--bringing cheer to your aunt and the other's at the nursing home.
Best of luck in the contest.
:) ellen
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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Thank you. Zip was a rare cat and loved everyone she met. She never knew any abuse in her life so that probably helped. Still, most cats do not like more than one or two people.
Comment from P1
this is truly lovely and heart warming story
i am an animal person and at one stage i had
ten cats. loved them all. your story reads easy
and kept me glued from start to finish. one thing
to look at....
"Oh my" Is this the lovely Zip you kept telling me about?" "I never expected to see a cat again in this lifetime. Thank you, my child."
I think it should read-------"Oh, my. Is this the lovely Zip you kept telling me about? I never expected to see a cat again in this lifetime. Thank you, my child."
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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this is truly lovely and heart warming story
i am an animal person and at one stage i had
ten cats. loved them all. your story reads easy
and kept me glued from start to finish. one thing
to look at....
"Oh my" Is this the lovely Zip you kept telling me about?" "I never expected to see a cat again in this lifetime. Thank you, my child."
I think it should read-------"Oh, my. Is this the lovely Zip you kept telling me about? I never expected to see a cat again in this lifetime. Thank you, my child."
Comment Written 22-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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Thank you. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I will edit and correct.
Comment from mermaids
I am a cat person and love your story. Currently, my husband and I have five cats(we had six-one passed away this January). One of my cats has been a visiting cat in the nursing home, he loves people. I am glad you saved these two kittens and Zip bought so much joy into your life and the lives of the residents at the nursing home.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
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I am a cat person and love your story. Currently, my husband and I have five cats(we had six-one passed away this January). One of my cats has been a visiting cat in the nursing home, he loves people. I am glad you saved these two kittens and Zip bought so much joy into your life and the lives of the residents at the nursing home.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
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Thank you. Cats like Zip and your cat are few and far between. Most cats do not like strangers or being taken to strange places. I wonder what makes a few cats so different?
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Yes ! Kitties know who cares about them & they are forever grateful when that love is returned with a warm bed, food, & someone to love.
I enjoyed your story. You did a great job with the prompt. I love kitties.
I am pleased that your aunt got to pet Zip [also the other residents]. What an amazing sweetie. I would say your adventure in bringing Zip to the home was well worth any 'bad' thing that may have happened. But it turned out well for all.
Good job and best wishes in the contest. Thanks for sharing & caring. Jan
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
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Yes ! Kitties know who cares about them & they are forever grateful when that love is returned with a warm bed, food, & someone to love.
I enjoyed your story. You did a great job with the prompt. I love kitties.
I am pleased that your aunt got to pet Zip [also the other residents]. What an amazing sweetie. I would say your adventure in bringing Zip to the home was well worth any 'bad' thing that may have happened. But it turned out well for all.
Good job and best wishes in the contest. Thanks for sharing & caring. Jan
Comment Written 22-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
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Thank you. Cats like Zip are few and far between. Most cats hate strangers or being hauled around.
Comment from Marykelly
This is a love story at its best. Love of the vulnerable is a theme that runs through this story, whether human or animal, and filling their needs is what elevates this from an animal story to a love story.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
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This is a love story at its best. Love of the vulnerable is a theme that runs through this story, whether human or animal, and filling their needs is what elevates this from an animal story to a love story.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
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Thank you. Zip was just pure love. sometimes I wondered if she had been sent from heaven to show me how to love.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh geez, this has to be the best-ever cat story written! I was riveted from start to finish, the warmth and genuine love fairly leaping from the screen as I pictured each and every delicious scene. Not a word wasted nor a "t" left uncrossed - truly a gift.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
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Oh geez, this has to be the best-ever cat story written! I was riveted from start to finish, the warmth and genuine love fairly leaping from the screen as I pictured each and every delicious scene. Not a word wasted nor a "t" left uncrossed - truly a gift.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
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Thank you, my friend. Writing about animals is my passion. Zip was my favorite cat ever. I miss her so much yet today.
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You're very welcome. Please let me know who you are when the contest is over, will you?
Comment from jpduck
I thought this was a delightful story, well told.
Typos/SPAGs. (Square brackets indicate suggested deletions, and asterisks, suggested insertions):
'offending my three *o*lder cats-Bridgette, Princess, and Girl' (Elder/eldest can only be used of people. Also the hyphen before Bridgette should be an emdash, which is available on the FS Write page, or a double hyphen {--} can be used).
'irritated them [to] no end'
'Zip thought the whole thing was great sport and was highly agreeable to the whole business' (You have 'whole' twice in the one sentence. I think you need to find an alternative for, or delete, one of them).
From Author Notes: 'This is a true story about one of the most unique cats' ('unique' cannot be qualified. It means one-and-only, so you cannot have 'most unique', 'fairly unique', etc).
Adrian
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
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I thought this was a delightful story, well told.
Typos/SPAGs. (Square brackets indicate suggested deletions, and asterisks, suggested insertions):
'offending my three *o*lder cats-Bridgette, Princess, and Girl' (Elder/eldest can only be used of people. Also the hyphen before Bridgette should be an emdash, which is available on the FS Write page, or a double hyphen {--} can be used).
'irritated them [to] no end'
'Zip thought the whole thing was great sport and was highly agreeable to the whole business' (You have 'whole' twice in the one sentence. I think you need to find an alternative for, or delete, one of them).
From Author Notes: 'This is a true story about one of the most unique cats' ('unique' cannot be qualified. It means one-and-only, so you cannot have 'most unique', 'fairly unique', etc).
Adrian
Comment Written 22-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
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Thank you, my friend. Your tips are most appreciated. I changed the title of this story to Purr-Fect Love, it fits the story better. I will edit and make your suggested changes.
Comment from William Ross
A very well written story of Zip the cat, animals are a big joy to elders in places like nurses homes ,animals give unconditional love and are great healers of the mind Great write and good luck on this
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
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A very well written story of Zip the cat, animals are a big joy to elders in places like nurses homes ,animals give unconditional love and are great healers of the mind Great write and good luck on this
Comment Written 22-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
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Thank you. I edited and changed the title to Purr-Fect love. I think it is a better sounding title. I also went through and corrected some errors. Thank you again for taking the time to read.
