Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is an excellent write, treischel, you did an excellent job writing this ode to the dawn, great imagery presented here, I love the picture but your author notes made my brain melt and ooze out my ears. i'm in a daze, lol

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2016

---

reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016

Thank you sweetwoodjax. It is a complex format, for sure.

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

I remember learning about Pindar many years ago and being somewhat overwhelmed by the Greek terminology describing the techniques of his poetry. Your example perfectly elucidates them! There is a stark simplicity in this highly stylised form, whose structure would have been well understood by the audiences of the time. You have managed to infuse a remarkable degree of freshness in this modern day example.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016

Thank you Tony. Thank you Pantygynt. I didn't even try to accommodate the meter. I read about Aeolic metres and dylacto-epititrites, and went "huh!"

Comment from Zue65

Excellent

I am not really into the metered or rhymed verses, so I don't pay much attention to rhyming schemes. When I review a poem, I just allow the poem to wash over me, and when I derive pleasure, then it's poetry for me. I must admit I enjoyed your poem, I like best the last stanza. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016

Thank you nassus. That's a good way to do it. I put the notes there for those who would like to try one for themselves,, but those who just want to read poetry, your way is perfect.

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

This is very interesting. Not too many write of the colors of the night. This is beautiful done - has a magical sound to it.

You haven't written anything for awhile - good to see you:)

teresa

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016

Thank you Teresa, I've been busy getting my book published that I'm hoping to launch next week. So, I haven't posted in a while.

reply by TAB_that's me on 18-Jun-2016

Congrats and good luck with that!

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

Thanks for your elaborate foot note, so I knew what kind of Ode this was. Dawn and evening are good objects to write this about. You stuck to the rules.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016

Thank you Ine. Have a great day and weekend.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written poem. The cycle of a day from dawn to dusk. The two times in a day that are always remarkable. An excellent photo of a sunrise. I do pray everyday for it to never go away.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016

Thank you Sandra. I do too.

Comment from brenda bickers

Excellent

Hi TREISCHEL,
This looks to me like a very complex poem and you have executed it well.
I like the repeated line in the first stanza and a different repeat in the second. Usually it is the same repeat line but it is more interesting this way.
A great poem:))x
Brenda

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016

Thank you Brenda.

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

You can see from the where some of these modern repetitive lined poe,s are coming from. Dear old Pin dar or even Stesichorus. I suppose if it had, t been for these Greeks our poetry would be all Beowulf.

This is is a lovely cycle -- dawn as kiss and dusk as a hug. Nice that.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016

Thank you Pantygynt. Good point. I didn't even try to accommodate the meter. I read about Aeolic metres and dylacto-epititrites, and went "huh!"

Comment from Preston McWhorter

Exceptional

Hi, Trischel,
The ancient Greeks had a word for it. Your Pindaric Ode, "Cycle of Day is exceptional poetry which follows the form laid down by Pindar. Your interpretation of Strophe, Antistrophe, and Epode is masterful. The poetic language especially the metaphors used these is excellent. Rhyme, meter, and required structure are excellent.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016

Thank you so much Preston, for this ringing endorsement of my poem, as indicated in the words and the stars.

reply by Preston McWhorter on 18-Jun-2016

Well deserved.