Comment from Kooky Clown

Good

I enjoyed this although I must confess I was not sure who was writing at first as I have read other stories about Greyson or at least I think I have but anyway I enjoyed the read. I was not quite so happy about the way it ended though I wasn't sure at first who Tom was then figured it out. I am sorry that Tom did not feel that he should apologise to you for upsetting you like that. Anyway an enjoyable read and I am glad that Gus was okay.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016

Thank you for the good review. Teri

Comment from smel

Excellent

I loved this! I truly fell in love with Gus! It is written beautifully. I was fully involved in reading throughout the story. Great job,

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016

Thank you so much for the great review. Teri

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

Somewhere you said balling when you meant bawling. Please make sure each quote is in quote marks, and is a separate paragraph. If not, like with "uh uh", italics are nice. Good story, but is it fiction?

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016

Thank you. I think I fixed the bawling one. Teri

Comment from giraffmang

Good

Hi there,

You have marked this piece as non-fiction but the rules clearly state that the competition if for fiction pieces only, therefore this does not meet the criteria.

There is also a minimum word length of 1000 words for the contest. you piece comes in at around 825.

The piece has to be reviewed in the context of the competition and as such needs work to meet the fiction criteria and the word count.

Sorry
GMG

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016

That is fine. I am sorry for I wanted to tell my story and that is all that matters to me. It will go in my grandson's book one day. thank you for telling me. Teri

Comment from Unspoken94

Excellent

This is a perfect story for this contest. You keep the reader
on edge right to the very end. Dogs have an incredible
tolerance with their stomachs. I would only ask that you take
a look at the word, "balling." Shouldn't that be "bawling?"
All the best in the contest. -Bill

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016

Thank you Bill for your helpful review. I tried to change that but for some reason I haven't been able too. Oh well, I will try again. hugs, Teri

Comment from EMB

Excellent

So I'm guessing that the ball wasn't bought for the dog. That really wasn't your fault because dogs typically don't swallow what they don't want to.

As far as the story goes, you could probably leave out the sentences that prompt readers to be expectant. Namely the first and the one saying, "That's not the way it ended, though."

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016

That is the way the contest said to start it. Not my way of thinking either. Thanks for the review Teri

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

Teri, this again is a fun story of your day with your grandson.
I only found one minor problem. Since it is a contest entry you may want to change the spelling. Patricia
(balling) the word should be (bawling) both places you used it.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016

Thank you my friend. I will fix that. hugs, Teri

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This was a nice story about a day in the life that had a hiccup in it. I would say that the story is a good journal filler that might work as an article. it might need a little more background to flesh all the people out.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016

Thank you for the review. working on details. thanks. Teri

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Teri

= Oh, no! What a day to survive after such trauma.
= At least Gus is okay. Jeesh, how were you to know he'd devour the ball?
= I can feel for you. That would be a rough one.
= Great contest entry. Good luck.

(*>*) A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
Cheers & Blessings ~ Jacqueline ~ Jackie ~ Jax

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016

Thank you Jax. I am just thankful I didn't kill the dog! hugs, Teri

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

A dog is like a human, it will eat almost anything. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is good imagery.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016

Thank you Charlie. Teri