Sonnets
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "The New Justice"A collection of sonnets
9 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Michael,
You did a great job with your sonnet. All the criteria of it is in your poem. Good job on that aspect.
This makes me hurt for all those just a you described so brilliantly who are here in real life. I read this earlier & was to touched to review so I came and reread it.
It still has an awesome message with a sad outcome. Good job. Thanks for sharing & caring. Best wishes in the contest. Jan
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Michael,
You did a great job with your sonnet. All the criteria of it is in your poem. Good job on that aspect.
This makes me hurt for all those just a you described so brilliantly who are here in real life. I read this earlier & was to touched to review so I came and reread it.
It still has an awesome message with a sad outcome. Good job. Thanks for sharing & caring. Best wishes in the contest. Jan
Comment Written 17-Sep-2016
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A powerful write in this sonnet mikey and unfortunately, according to our news reports, this is what happens in a lot of cases. The bully eventually takes aim. Sad. Well done with this one,
cheers,
valda
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A powerful write in this sonnet mikey and unfortunately, according to our news reports, this is what happens in a lot of cases. The bully eventually takes aim. Sad. Well done with this one,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
Comment from Ric Myworld
This is one of those times when I wish I hadn't given up all my stars so early in the week. This poem is bound to touch the hearts of all of us. Even us big tough guys were once little kids, and I don't think there is person on this earth who hasn't felt the pain and helplessness of being bullied. So why shouldn't they loose it and kill the aggressors who inflict their pain? I was a sweet little kid who gave away every toy or anything I had if anybody wanted it. All the boys in my neighborhood were three to five years older than me and made life hell from the age of 5 to 11, but something in me snapped. I was 11 and big Tommy was 15 or 16, 6'2'', and 240, huge for his age. I beat his ass off that day, and then the next week I stomped the supposedly meanest guy in school. The principle suspended me and called my grandmother to explain. She told the principle that I wouldn't be in trouble at home because I had been mistreated all my life by those bullies. A thrown rock put nine stitches above my right eye on my first day of school. At six-years old my eyes were beaten and swelled shut at the park. At 11 my nose was smashed and broken all over my face by the biggest thug in the city who was 18. It was four years later before his payback came, so I gave him a triple helping. My grandmother said, now they've gone and made him mean and you want me to discipline him for taking up for himself. She continued, you all made him this way, no you deal with him. On her deathbed she said to me, "You are still my sweet, kind baby who loves everyone. At least until they challenge you!" She chuckled as best she could. LOL! Thanks for another fine poem. :-)
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This is one of those times when I wish I hadn't given up all my stars so early in the week. This poem is bound to touch the hearts of all of us. Even us big tough guys were once little kids, and I don't think there is person on this earth who hasn't felt the pain and helplessness of being bullied. So why shouldn't they loose it and kill the aggressors who inflict their pain? I was a sweet little kid who gave away every toy or anything I had if anybody wanted it. All the boys in my neighborhood were three to five years older than me and made life hell from the age of 5 to 11, but something in me snapped. I was 11 and big Tommy was 15 or 16, 6'2'', and 240, huge for his age. I beat his ass off that day, and then the next week I stomped the supposedly meanest guy in school. The principle suspended me and called my grandmother to explain. She told the principle that I wouldn't be in trouble at home because I had been mistreated all my life by those bullies. A thrown rock put nine stitches above my right eye on my first day of school. At six-years old my eyes were beaten and swelled shut at the park. At 11 my nose was smashed and broken all over my face by the biggest thug in the city who was 18. It was four years later before his payback came, so I gave him a triple helping. My grandmother said, now they've gone and made him mean and you want me to discipline him for taking up for himself. She continued, you all made him this way, no you deal with him. On her deathbed she said to me, "You are still my sweet, kind baby who loves everyone. At least until they challenge you!" She chuckled as best she could. LOL! Thanks for another fine poem. :-)
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
So much said about bullying and the mindset of the person being bullied in this well-penned Sonnet Poetry Contest entry. Your meter, to me, seems perfect. The rhythm, rhyme and content are awesome. Verse number two is so true...it's those who do not speak, but look away as if you're trash that piss you off most! Great job. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
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So much said about bullying and the mindset of the person being bullied in this well-penned Sonnet Poetry Contest entry. Your meter, to me, seems perfect. The rhythm, rhyme and content are awesome. Verse number two is so true...it's those who do not speak, but look away as if you're trash that piss you off most! Great job. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
Comment from Pantygynt
Sonnets tend to get used mostly for pleasant things, nice eyebrows, summer days etc. but, true to form you go to the opposite end of the sonnetary continuum -- brave little Irish bugger ain't yer? Spoiling for a fight with the disciples of Twee and Chocolate Box art.
The form is spot on with a brilliantly shining steel volta of the sharpest wit, and an emininently unforgettable couplet. If someone had suggested that today I would read a sonnet that included the phrase "you vicious pricks" I would have laughed. This opens up a whole new can of couplets.
Murder ballads are well known in the folk world. Perhaps the revenge sonnet is shortly to become as popular.
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Sonnets tend to get used mostly for pleasant things, nice eyebrows, summer days etc. but, true to form you go to the opposite end of the sonnetary continuum -- brave little Irish bugger ain't yer? Spoiling for a fight with the disciples of Twee and Chocolate Box art.
The form is spot on with a brilliantly shining steel volta of the sharpest wit, and an emininently unforgettable couplet. If someone had suggested that today I would read a sonnet that included the phrase "you vicious pricks" I would have laughed. This opens up a whole new can of couplets.
Murder ballads are well known in the folk world. Perhaps the revenge sonnet is shortly to become as popular.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Mikey,
this is scary stuff. We do not have this problem in England, but then we do not really have a gun problem. It must be frightening to send your kids to school and hope they return at the end of the day. Bullying is such a lonely thing to endure, and when there is no where to turn kids take drastic measures. Very sad.
Brenda:))x
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Hi Mikey,
this is scary stuff. We do not have this problem in England, but then we do not really have a gun problem. It must be frightening to send your kids to school and hope they return at the end of the day. Bullying is such a lonely thing to endure, and when there is no where to turn kids take drastic measures. Very sad.
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
A perfect sonnet form.
this is so true also, either you kill or kill yourself. Seems the only two options that children take today...then again what else is there.?
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A perfect sonnet form.
this is so true also, either you kill or kill yourself. Seems the only two options that children take today...then again what else is there.?
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
Comment from barkingdog
This poor kid is ready to take revenge and shoot everyone--those that bullied him as well as those that deserted him.
Excellent sonnet form(rhyme and iambic pentameter) and use of enjambment. The topic is very current with today's growing state of mind. People go crazy and pick up a gun to solve their problems.
Good luck in the contest, Mikey.
:) e
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This poor kid is ready to take revenge and shoot everyone--those that bullied him as well as those that deserted him.
Excellent sonnet form(rhyme and iambic pentameter) and use of enjambment. The topic is very current with today's growing state of mind. People go crazy and pick up a gun to solve their problems.
Good luck in the contest, Mikey.
:) e
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Terrific, Mikey. What a graet topic to chose for the contest. Powerful words, and that last stanza and the couplet are scary ... but I can understand how a kid would feel... why he would do it. THe cause has to be addressed or we'll never be safe.
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Terrific, Mikey. What a graet topic to chose for the contest. Powerful words, and that last stanza and the couplet are scary ... but I can understand how a kid would feel... why he would do it. THe cause has to be addressed or we'll never be safe.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
