woven world
a haiku5 total reviews
Comment from cumulus365
Beautifully written for this compact piece. Your poetic format is of the traditional haiku style about nature. It has 5 syls for line 1, 7 syls for line 2, and 5 syls for line 3 meeting the overall 17 syllables count. Your poem is about a current observation of nature. Line 1 and line 2 tell a story that gives a superb imagery of the nests dangling below the palm fronds at the moment in time. A separate part of your story is the line 3, the brightening part of the nests, the mindfulness of this part is you used sensory word to express what is going on in the nests. Stunning imagery.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016
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Beautifully written for this compact piece. Your poetic format is of the traditional haiku style about nature. It has 5 syls for line 1, 7 syls for line 2, and 5 syls for line 3 meeting the overall 17 syllables count. Your poem is about a current observation of nature. Line 1 and line 2 tell a story that gives a superb imagery of the nests dangling below the palm fronds at the moment in time. A separate part of your story is the line 3, the brightening part of the nests, the mindfulness of this part is you used sensory word to express what is going on in the nests. Stunning imagery.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016
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Wow, thanks for the insightful review. It was a fun write based on something that I saw., cheers, j
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Yes, I could tell because I have seen those palm fronds myself. Good luck.
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Thanks for the 6 sparkly stars too, cheers, j
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Those sparkly are for the nest and the chirps (that is mindfulness bit). I love birds too. Best.
Comment from foxangie123
A very nice five seven five that provides imagery surreal to those which read it. Way to go on this. Really uplifting and fabulous job here.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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A very nice five seven five that provides imagery surreal to those which read it. Way to go on this. Really uplifting and fabulous job here.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Thanks for the encouraging review foxy, cheers, j
Comment from mountainwriter49
Good Evening, Poet,
I enjoyed reading your well penned haiku this evening. You've surely captured a moment in time. I can see the slow swaying palm fonds. The satori is excellent.
Good luck to you in the contest.
Ray
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Good Evening, Poet,
I enjoyed reading your well penned haiku this evening. You've surely captured a moment in time. I can see the slow swaying palm fonds. The satori is excellent.
Good luck to you in the contest.
Ray
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Thanks for the insightful review, cheers, j
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A well-written haiku. The weaver is one of the busiest little birds I ever see. They are always working on their nests. The little ones never stop chirping and need constant feeding.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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A well-written haiku. The weaver is one of the busiest little birds I ever see. They are always working on their nests. The little ones never stop chirping and need constant feeding.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Thanks for the review. I saw a palm tree yesterday and there must have been hundreds, just hanging there, clever little weaver birds, cheers, j
Comment from Lynn27
I loved the photo and it was a picture match with your piece. This well-written poem and you did an excellent job. I loved the words that you chose too.
Happy writing,
Lynn
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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I loved the photo and it was a picture match with your piece. This well-written poem and you did an excellent job. I loved the words that you chose too.
Happy writing,
Lynn
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thanks for the encouraging review. I found about 100 weaver birds nests that just hang from the tree and I could hear them all inside, pretty cool. Cheers, j
