Reviews from

Free Verse Collection

Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "At Morning Prayer"
A collection of free verse poems

49 total reviews 
Comment from William Ross
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

very good, nicely done on the free verse of morning prayer, this should do really well on the prompt. Good luck on this and have a great day

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
    Thank you for your review and good luck wishes, William. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Aussie
Excellent
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Your story/poem deserves a six. I loved it because I adore the horse. You painted a beautiful picture of an ageing beast bedecked in sun's early light. Like us, we know not when the bell tolls for any of us. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest my friend.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
    Thank you for your review, Aussie. Flattered that you should think this worth a six. It.is based on a wonderful old horse we agisted here until he eventually passed away at the age of 32. Best wishes, Tony
reply by Aussie on 14-Jun-2016
    I had an old mare like that; not as old as your horse. She reached 15. I ended up giving her to a spastic child and they both lived and loved together. Cheers, Kay XX
Comment from Domino 2
Excellent
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I had to look up, 'orison' ('prayer'), Tony, and I resent you interrupting my laziness. LOL.

Maybe hyphenate as, 'stock-still', as I stumbled on the meaning for a split second.

Lots of excellent subtle alliteration, and also assonance/consonance.

Top metaphors throughout to accompany your vivid and poetic (even majestic at times) imagery.

If I'd reviewed this earlier, I would probably have top-rated it, but as the possibility of that helping to promote to 'today's well-received page', where extra exposure is gained, and has now run out (it only lasts for 24 hours), my sixer would be 'wasted' in a way, so here's a BIG 'virtual'. ******

Cheers, Ray.




 Comment Written 13-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
    Thank you, again, Ray for a useful suggestion. It sometimes takes having someone else to read what one has written to open one's eyes to the bleedin' obvious! I have now hyphenated stock-still and further defined it with commas on either side. As always, I appreciate the thought and care you take with your reviewing. Best wishes, Tony
reply by Domino 2 on 13-Jun-2016
    Thanks for the great reply, Tony. Your gracious words make reviewing worthwhile, my friend.

    Cheers, Ray.
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
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We do not know what the new day will bring. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
    Thank you for your review, Charlie. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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After all that Walt Whitman stuff the potlatch threw up this is a blessed relief. It has all the poetic devices you could wish for and is thing of beauty unlike WW's chopped up prose.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
    I didn't bother about this week's Potlach. Having bought a copy of Walt Whitman's works in a charity shop earlier this year for a dollar, I have come to realise that it was perhaps not the great bargain that I had imagined!
Comment from MacMhuirich
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a beautifully crafted free verse for the poetry contest. Well written descriptive words, good narrative and full of imagery. Love the fact that I learn new words from reading your work. Best wishes for the contest.
Bless you
John


 Comment Written 13-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
    Very many thanks, John, for this very kind review, and for your generous award of six stars. I appreciate your good luck wishes, too. Kind regards, Tony.
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Excellent
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The aged horse leaves his forest shelter to stand stoically in the night air. Your poem created visuals in the readers mind and is easily followed through out the free verse story form. I could see him standing, asleep as it were, then the morning sun lights up his coat like burnished bronze.
Nicely done, I enjoyed it very much
:-) Carolyn

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
    Very many thanks, Carolyn. I'm delighted that this painted a vivid picture in your mind. It was based on an old horse that spent his latter years in retirement on our farm. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Mastery
Excellent
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Hello again, Tony. I am so impressed. You are a very talented man with words. a true poet in every sense. I love the way your words slide off the tongue as i read your work

"until the first sharp rays
break out above the hill
to bathe his ears in splendour,
then his back,
brazing him once more,
a burnished bronze,
fit for Bellerophon to ride
against the Chimera of day."

Bravo, my new friend.



 Comment Written 12-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
    Very many thanks, Bob. I'm delighted that this painted a vivid picture in your mind. It was based on an old horse that spent his latter years in retirement on our farm. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Kaydoe
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a beautifully written poem with a vast vocabulary that challenged me the viewer. The first stanza reflect an old horse," wraith, arthritic limbs" As daylight
approaches and the light shines his "ears in splendor " and other magnificent features. The "ancient horse" stands strong as birds sing a beautiful prayer. Not sure if I got the gist, but it sounds and reads well. Truly poetic art!

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
    Very many thanks, Kay. I'm delighted that this painted a vivid picture in your mind. It was based on an old horse that spent his latter years in retirement on our farm. Thank you so much for the six stars, too! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
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The words are carefully chosen, and distinct from bursts of prose, a
technique not mastered by many. The images describe the tricks sunlight can play(I've seen crows with golden feathers). Looks fine to me.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
    Very many thanks, Red. I'm delighted that this painted a vivid picture in your mind. It was based on an old horse that spent his latter years in retirement on our farm. Best wishes, Tony