Comment from IndianaIrish

Excellent

What magnificent animals they are! Your free verse is wonderful, Tony. You have all the qualities that make free verse a delight to read...alliteration, enjambment, great personification of nature, and absolutely excellent imagery in your words. Best wishes in the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016

Thanks, Karyn. This was inspired by a lovely old horse that spent the last days of his retirement on our farm some years ago. Glad you liked it -and thanks very much for the six stars. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Zue65

Excellent

Using the horse as a pivot to advance the lines of your poem from beginning to end is an excellent technique. I enjoyed the visual images employed by the poet to drive home his message to the readers. Excellent. God bless.

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016

Thanks, Nassus. This was inspired by a lovely old horse that spent the last days of his retirement on our farm some years ago. Glad you liked it. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Beautifully written free verse Tony. Very visual descriptions in your opening verse as- this ancent horse stands still - An old horse and a brand new day, a lovely read.
cheers,
valda.

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016

Thanks, Pearl. This was inspired by a lovely old horse that spent the last days of his retirement on our farm some years ago. Glad you liked it.. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Selina Stambi

Exceptional

Tony,

You are a born bard! Your free verse had me holding my breath as I read. You brought this majestic, burnished, bronze creature to life in my head.

I barely noticed the lack of rhyme.

I hope you win. So very well done!

Sonali

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016

Coming from you, Sonali, who is such an accomplished word-weaver, this review and these stars mean a lot to me. Thank you so much! Best wishes, Tony

Comment from GWHARGIS

Exceptional

Beautiful imagery in this. Your work captured a moment in nature . No drama but still dramatic in its essence. Great rhythm and flow. I really enjoyed this. Gretchen

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016

Good to hear from you, Gretchen, and thanks both for your generous stars and kind words. As always, much appreciated! Tony

Comment from Leineco

Exceptional

Breathtakingly beautiful T !!!

I literally held my breath waiting for the first rays of light to
bathe the horse in morning light -

but was not prepared for the stunning vision you painted!

brazing him once more,
a burnished bronze,...

The shadows, mute, shrink back, aghast, in reverential awe.

It read like a dream and left a lasting memory :-)

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016

Good to hear from you, Leineco, and thanks both for your generous stars and kind words. As always, much appreciated! Tony

Comment from nancyjam

Exceptional

Gorgeous free verse Tony. Beautiful descriptive language
allowing the reader to experience this lovely scene.
The old, dying, crippled horse that waited for the first rays
of the dawn to turn him into a bronzed wonder fit for a Greek hero.
and yet he remains still...waiting for the chorus of birds to offer their prayer.
Your imagery is exquisite and so fitting this tribute to nature and God's gifts.
Bravo - definitely a six..and a winner. Best of luck. Nancy

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016

Thank you so much for this lovely review and six stars, Nancy. Very much appreciated. The poem is based on a memory I have of a dear old horse who ended his days in retirement on our farm several years ago. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from ciliverde

Excellent

Tony this is so beautiful, I almost can't breathe...quite amazing. This old horse, awake in the night, waiting for the dawn...

In my opinion, two stanzas stand out as being particularly impressive, maybe because of the harkening to Greek mythology...
"until the first sharp rays
break out above the hill
to bathe his ears in splendour,
then his back,
brazing him once more,
a burnished bronze,
fit for Bellerophon to ride
against the Chimera of day."

and
"Still, this ancient horse stands still (might consider removing the first "still")
as does the world and time,
his head now raised
to breathe a wisp of breath,
a soft grey incense
silvered by the dawn."

I've seen very old horses, and they do get really thin...wraith-like. I think you'll win this one, Tony, this is stunning.

Carol

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016

Thank you so much for this lovely review, Carol. Very much appreciated. The poem is based on a memory I have of a dear old horse who ended his days in retirement on our farm several years ago. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from rbutner

Excellent

Just beautiful. I can envision the old horse with every verse, then see him in his youthful splendor with the breaking of the day. This is a lovely, creative work. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Renee

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016

Thank you so much for this lovely review, Renee. Very much appreciated. The poem is based on a memory I have of a dear old horse who ended his days in retirement on our farm several years ago. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Hello tfawcus
Your poem in free verse has so much emotion put into your words that I needed to read it once more

Beautiful

Gert

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016

Many thanks for stopping by to review, Gert. Glad that you enjoyed it! Best wishes, Tony