Over The Hill
Sadly, I have lost my muse again68 total reviews
Comment from Henry Carlyle
Hello poet! I enjoyed reading this one, and have often thought the same thing; don't worry, your muse will soon return (although by the looks of it, it never really left)!
My favourite thing here was the metre, which reads in a lovely, bouncing way. There were just a few lines which seemed off to me that I'll point out, since I'm a fresh set of eyes :)
"a poet, over the hill."
-contracting "over" to "o'er" would solve it.
"Perhaps, I've reached the apex
of what was my greatest thrill."
-If you move "of" to the above line, it would fix it.
I hope those suggestions help! Best of luck in the contest,
HC
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2016
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Hello poet! I enjoyed reading this one, and have often thought the same thing; don't worry, your muse will soon return (although by the looks of it, it never really left)!
My favourite thing here was the metre, which reads in a lovely, bouncing way. There were just a few lines which seemed off to me that I'll point out, since I'm a fresh set of eyes :)
"a poet, over the hill."
-contracting "over" to "o'er" would solve it.
"Perhaps, I've reached the apex
of what was my greatest thrill."
-If you move "of" to the above line, it would fix it.
I hope those suggestions help! Best of luck in the contest,
HC
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2016
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Thank you sir.I appreciate your comment, ratin and advice
Comment from heyjude
mystery author, this is done so well. It gave me a smile.
I don't think you'd want my muse. It leaves me for long
periods of time. I understand about that feeling of
being a poet, over the hill. I hope you'll find that muse soon.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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mystery author, this is done so well. It gave me a smile.
I don't think you'd want my muse. It leaves me for long
periods of time. I understand about that feeling of
being a poet, over the hill. I hope you'll find that muse soon.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Thank you for your continuing support.So nice of you
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
This is an excellent entry into the My Muse contest. Loved it! The flow and rhyme are perfect. I enjoyed it very much.
Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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This is an excellent entry into the My Muse contest. Loved it! The flow and rhyme are perfect. I enjoyed it very much.
Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Thank you sweet lady. Just pull for me
Comment from RYME4U
Very well written, I like the satirical tone and the rhyming is smooth and even. You have set a humorous mood here. It was a delight to read.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Very well written, I like the satirical tone and the rhyming is smooth and even. You have set a humorous mood here. It was a delight to read.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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I thank you very much-jaybird
Comment from DALLAS01
Liked everything about this from its simplicity to its it rhyme and flow. I have found that when the muse is ready it returns. After all everyone needs a break once in a while.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Liked everything about this from its simplicity to its it rhyme and flow. I have found that when the muse is ready it returns. After all everyone needs a break once in a while.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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At 91 years of age I don't have time to give it a break.Thanks
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ha ha
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Well written poem that once again depicts for us writers that it our muse that really is in charge, not us.
Perhaps after a short hiatus the muse will return.
Should be a good contest entry.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Well written poem that once again depicts for us writers that it our muse that really is in charge, not us.
Perhaps after a short hiatus the muse will return.
Should be a good contest entry.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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If I don't find it soon I'm about done. Thank you very much
Comment from jusylee72
so clever and sweet. looks like he found you he just came in the back door to help you write this sweet poem longing for him to come back. I enjoyed your writing . Thank you so muchl
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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so clever and sweet. looks like he found you he just came in the back door to help you write this sweet poem longing for him to come back. I enjoyed your writing . Thank you so muchl
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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I am glad you liked it.Sort of made my day.Thank you
Comment from RodG
This muse sounds like some fickle children I have known. I love how you personify IT, but like your Speaker even more as I can relate so easily to her feeling "all washed up" upon that "hill."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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This muse sounds like some fickle children I have known. I love how you personify IT, but like your Speaker even more as I can relate so easily to her feeling "all washed up" upon that "hill."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Many thanks for yourkind review
