Comment from F. Wehr3

Good

This was okay for me. This wasn't bad, but there is no real conflict. Nothing to draw me in as reader.

At five thirty I was not at my best, but, the thought of my husband cheered me up' Delete comma after but.

Sean was due back from a conference in France and I'd promised to pick him up on arrival.' Comma is needed before the conjunction and. This is because it is joining two complete sentences.

I sighed, and turned towards the stairs.' No comma needed because I (your subject ) is followed by two predicates sighed and turned.

I hope this is helpful.

Take care,
Russell

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Thank you.

Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Excellent

I hate it when the controllers go on strike!
Your story was short and to the point.
A woman awaits the return of her husband, but he's delayed due to the strike.
Good luck in the contest,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Than you very much.

Comment from blondie560

Good

Good use of the suggested words. A couple of punctuation errors with commas, but I have a hard time with them too. Sometimes when our plans fall apart the only thing to do is go back to bed.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Thanks. You give me a good, I presume for the puntuation? Please clarify. Not very helpful when I don't know what to rectify. How can I guess? Ulla.

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

Good job with your story writing, using the words and telling a story in less than 150 words. I hope he has returned home now. Good luck in the contest.

teresa

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Thank you so very much.

Comment from foxangie123

Excellent

A really most outstanding and effective story you have told in the few one hundred words. I could relate to the disappointment and despair it brought. Fantastic story.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Thank you so much.

Comment from Judy Couch

Excellent

This is realistic and could actually happen. It's always disappointing to everyone when a flight is delayed. You told the story well. It's clear and believable.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Thank you so much.

Comment from scd41

Excellent

This kind of disappointment in the early hours of the morning would easily draw empathy. After all, morning sets the day - at least for me. In hundred words, you have expressed nicely the conflict and resolution. Best of luck to you in the contest.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Thank you so much.

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

some times they drive ya crazy and you just wish they would go for a walk...and then there are times you wish they would never leave your side...very well written...and a beautiful picture

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Thank you so much.

reply by l.raven on 04-Jun-2016

you are so very welcome...xxoo Linda

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This 100-word story, Delay at Dawn, is a straight forward slice of a morning. All the words were used, the French air traffic controllers are using their right to strike in a democratic form, and Darling gets to sleep in. Nice.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Thank you so much.

Comment from Zue65

Excellent

The story elements were incorporated in this post although the important element of tension and surprise twist is quite missing. But it complied with the contest requirements , good job.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Thank you so much.