On Reaching The Top
When you reach the top there is nowhere to go but down56 total reviews
Comment from Lisa Deverick
Oh what wisdom is in this poem. your words speak truth and I love what you wrote as a description- when you reach the top there is nowhere to go but down. well done
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Oh what wisdom is in this poem. your words speak truth and I love what you wrote as a description- when you reach the top there is nowhere to go but down. well done
Comment Written 06-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Dear Lisa.-Thank you for visiting and revisiting my poem site. You made my day
Comment from JLC EmeraldRiver
There is valuable lesson to be taken from this poem. In these stanzas, you epitomize the negative qualities that can often overpower us in our journey to achieving our goals. While our ambitions help to guide us through life, sometimes they can have a dismal effect on our character, and can lead to greed and separation. It is unfortunate that, many times, we don't realize this until we have reached the peak of our goal, and thus face our own demise. Such a theme speaks well to readers. Your writing is fitting and has a storytelling quality to it that conveys the message flawlessly. Thank you for another impactful poem!
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2016
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There is valuable lesson to be taken from this poem. In these stanzas, you epitomize the negative qualities that can often overpower us in our journey to achieving our goals. While our ambitions help to guide us through life, sometimes they can have a dismal effect on our character, and can lead to greed and separation. It is unfortunate that, many times, we don't realize this until we have reached the peak of our goal, and thus face our own demise. Such a theme speaks well to readers. Your writing is fitting and has a storytelling quality to it that conveys the message flawlessly. Thank you for another impactful poem!
Comment Written 06-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2016
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I thank you my dear lady friend for a thorough and inspiring review.I hope you will be posting more in the near future
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hi, and a big welcome to FanStory.
I enjoyed your poem with its strong theme of how to live your life the wrong way. The rhyming and format is that of a sonnet, although written in iambic tetrameter rather than the usual pentameter. The meter is strong, except for variation in line 12
This shows that you have a good grasp of how to put together a coherent, flowing poem with good rhyme and a solid message - something that not everyone on this site can manage!
I look forward to reading more of your work.
Steve
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Hi, and a big welcome to FanStory.
I enjoyed your poem with its strong theme of how to live your life the wrong way. The rhyming and format is that of a sonnet, although written in iambic tetrameter rather than the usual pentameter. The meter is strong, except for variation in line 12
This shows that you have a good grasp of how to put together a coherent, flowing poem with good rhyme and a solid message - something that not everyone on this site can manage!
I look forward to reading more of your work.
Steve
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Thank you dear friend
Comment from DALLAS01
So much wisdom in this poem. I especially like the rhyming couplet. a grea summary:At last, on top he now must face,
his loss of soul, his lack of grace.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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So much wisdom in this poem. I especially like the rhyming couplet. a grea summary:At last, on top he now must face,
his loss of soul, his lack of grace.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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At 91 I can't wait much longer for my muse to return.Thank you friend
Comment from foxangie123
I had already read and reviewed this and it is wonderful. It would be way harder for the bad guys to go up in my opinion. Stay up there and don't go down. I'm not. Great writing friend. You Rock.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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I had already read and reviewed this and it is wonderful. It would be way harder for the bad guys to go up in my opinion. Stay up there and don't go down. I'm not. Great writing friend. You Rock.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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Thank you dear foxangel.Mighty sweet of you
Comment from Pantygynt
There are those I know who would leap on this screamin not pentameter, not a sonnet, but I remember seeing a definition of the sonnet form that said "usually written in iambic pentametet". So you want to be unusual I can see no reaso why this should not be classed as a sonnet.
The development follows the classical sonnet form. The first stanza staits his need for success, the second how this will be achieve. The volta at line nine gives his view from the top, and the sweet glow of success felt, while the couplet asks whether it has all been worth it.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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There are those I know who would leap on this screamin not pentameter, not a sonnet, but I remember seeing a definition of the sonnet form that said "usually written in iambic pentametet". So you want to be unusual I can see no reaso why this should not be classed as a sonnet.
The development follows the classical sonnet form. The first stanza staits his need for success, the second how this will be achieve. The volta at line nine gives his view from the top, and the sweet glow of success felt, while the couplet asks whether it has all been worth it.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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Thank you for a very constructive comment.A great analogy
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
It is not always worth the effort to get to the top. The one often push valuable friends away and they end up all alone and miserable at the top.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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It is not always worth the effort to get to the top. The one often push valuable friends away and they end up all alone and miserable at the top.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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Thank you dear friend.Was greatly appreciated
Comment from William Ross
Nicely done, pushing and climbing your way to the top, it's harder to stay there than climbing there. thanks for the share and thoughts on this have a good day
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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Nicely done, pushing and climbing your way to the top, it's harder to stay there than climbing there. thanks for the share and thoughts on this have a good day
Comment Written 04-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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Many thanks.Your comment means a lot to me
Comment from joannakruk
Such an important message you express in this poem. It is easy to put oneself first, step on other people without acknowledging their help, in the spirit of being the best. Why do we become so blind to the bigger picture, the notion that once at the top, we will feel dissatisfied unless we have a group, a community to share our accomplishments with.
Thank you for sharing your poem.
Jo :-)
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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Such an important message you express in this poem. It is easy to put oneself first, step on other people without acknowledging their help, in the spirit of being the best. Why do we become so blind to the bigger picture, the notion that once at the top, we will feel dissatisfied unless we have a group, a community to share our accomplishments with.
Thank you for sharing your poem.
Jo :-)
Comment Written 04-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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I greatly appreciate your comment and rating.
Comment from smel
I enjoyed this poem because you offered the reader an opportunity to explore the human soul, and how people can become obsessed with reaching a goal. Stubbornness and perseverance are helpful, but selfishness can lead to terrible things. You did a wonderful job at showing this. I love this poem! Great job!
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
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I enjoyed this poem because you offered the reader an opportunity to explore the human soul, and how people can become obsessed with reaching a goal. Stubbornness and perseverance are helpful, but selfishness can lead to terrible things. You did a wonderful job at showing this. I love this poem! Great job!
Comment Written 01-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
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A very pleasing comment.Thank you, my friend
