A Requiem
In ballad measure52 total reviews
Comment from Louise Michelle
I am going to give you my metaphysical interpretation of the first stanza. By pausing and bringing a poem back to life, the person is tuning into the vibrations of a soul.
Don't know what you mean by giving it away to birds unless it's just a way of expressing how one should share the love.
I find the flow very smooth and the sentiments rich and open for interpretation. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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I am going to give you my metaphysical interpretation of the first stanza. By pausing and bringing a poem back to life, the person is tuning into the vibrations of a soul.
Don't know what you mean by giving it away to birds unless it's just a way of expressing how one should share the love.
I find the flow very smooth and the sentiments rich and open for interpretation. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 01-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much, Lou, for your review of A Requiem. Much appreciated! I'm delighted that you enjoyed it and found meaning in it. The reference to birds was intended to suggest that sometimes it is a good idea to go out and listen to the sounds of nature to inform the cadence of your poetry. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Tony, this is a beautiful and startlingly bright requiem. I read it twice picking out which lines I liked best, then changed my mind. The whole poem is so well written that it was hard to choose. But I loved the reference to the birds. I have watched them nesting all spring and at this time of year the birdsong is just wonderful. So your requiem has lovely optimistic tones. 'You once were earth, again will be' - not something I like to dwell on, but as I get older it creeps up into my mind from time to time, so I'll take the advice given in your last line. Lovely poem. Warm regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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Tony, this is a beautiful and startlingly bright requiem. I read it twice picking out which lines I liked best, then changed my mind. The whole poem is so well written that it was hard to choose. But I loved the reference to the birds. I have watched them nesting all spring and at this time of year the birdsong is just wonderful. So your requiem has lovely optimistic tones. 'You once were earth, again will be' - not something I like to dwell on, but as I get older it creeps up into my mind from time to time, so I'll take the advice given in your last line. Lovely poem. Warm regards Dorothy
Comment Written 01-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much, Dorothy, for your review of A Requiem. Much appreciated! I'm delighted that you enjoyed it and found meaning in it. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from William Ross
very good and nicely written, great rhyming and wonderful read, thank you for sharing the thougts on this and I hope you enjoy your day
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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very good and nicely written, great rhyming and wonderful read, thank you for sharing the thougts on this and I hope you enjoy your day
Comment Written 01-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much, William, for your review of A Requiem. Much appreciated! I'm delighted that you enjoyed it and found meaning in it. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Domino 2
Hi, Tony, for extra visual and to avoid repeating, 'birds', in 3rd stanza, I respectfully suggest, 'wings', instead.
Excellent alternating iambic tetrameter/trimeter until you reach the following, when the meter changes (which threw mw a bit) with a 7676 syllable count, and I'm not sure if this is intentional:
'Some words become immortal,
a lonely state at best,
so when you've read these, burn them
and let them lie at rest'
The following stanza is written in a 'confusing' 7686 pattern, with the 1st line starting with an emphasised syllable, and therefore I read it as trochaic meter:
'Then go out and live your life,
and free yourself from care.
You once were earth, again will be.
Enjoy your breath of air'
Excellent theme of 'enjoy and appreciate life for the now', with the added dimension of things we do or words we write can sometimes live on after us.
Very interesting and eloquent.
Best wishes, Ray.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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Hi, Tony, for extra visual and to avoid repeating, 'birds', in 3rd stanza, I respectfully suggest, 'wings', instead.
Excellent alternating iambic tetrameter/trimeter until you reach the following, when the meter changes (which threw mw a bit) with a 7676 syllable count, and I'm not sure if this is intentional:
'Some words become immortal,
a lonely state at best,
so when you've read these, burn them
and let them lie at rest'
The following stanza is written in a 'confusing' 7686 pattern, with the 1st line starting with an emphasised syllable, and therefore I read it as trochaic meter:
'Then go out and live your life,
and free yourself from care.
You once were earth, again will be.
Enjoy your breath of air'
Excellent theme of 'enjoy and appreciate life for the now', with the added dimension of things we do or words we write can sometimes live on after us.
Very interesting and eloquent.
Best wishes, Ray.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much, Ray, for your review of A Requiem. Much appreciated! I'm delighted that you enjoyed it and found meaning in it. You are right about the last two stanzas, which both need quite a bit of work to improve their flow. I hope to have time to get back to them before too much longer. Again, thanks very much for taking the time to review in depth. Best wishes, Tony
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Thanks for your very gracious reply, Tony. It's particularly pleasing for me to think I maybe helped a poet of such calibre.
Cheers, Ray.
Comment from Pantygynt
I did enjoy this piece of 'advice'. Like most to f your work this has a beautiful flow to it. Iambic tetrameter and trimeter alternating along with alternating rhyme, a sure target for the title doggerel and yet I wouldn't use that term here. The message is too genuine, the language too sweet.
I loved every line of it but will not be taking the recommended action as the tablet on which I read it would be little use to me if charred and I intend taking it on holiday soon.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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I did enjoy this piece of 'advice'. Like most to f your work this has a beautiful flow to it. Iambic tetrameter and trimeter alternating along with alternating rhyme, a sure target for the title doggerel and yet I wouldn't use that term here. The message is too genuine, the language too sweet.
I loved every line of it but will not be taking the recommended action as the tablet on which I read it would be little use to me if charred and I intend taking it on holiday soon.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much, Jim, for your review of A Requiem. Much appreciated! I'm delighted that you enjoyed it. Good to hear that you'll be taking your tablet away on holiday with you. These days we all need to keep on taking the tablets. Best wishes, Tony
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Moses started the fashion but he broke his.
Comment from LIJ Red
The written word can as easily be a lie as the spoken word, and while chimps and dolphins talk-do they lie to one another? Is the ability to write the key characteristic that makes man the image of God? Good work that fosters thoughts, and the eat, drink, and be merry can't be argued...
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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The written word can as easily be a lie as the spoken word, and while chimps and dolphins talk-do they lie to one another? Is the ability to write the key characteristic that makes man the image of God? Good work that fosters thoughts, and the eat, drink, and be merry can't be argued...
Comment Written 01-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much, LIJR, for your review of A Requiem. Much appreciated! I'm delighted that you found meaning in it. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from l.raven
OMG Tony, truly this is one of your best...amazing wording my friend...I am trying to find a favorite line...and I love them all...enjoy life for all it is...a wonderful write my friend...Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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OMG Tony, truly this is one of your best...amazing wording my friend...I am trying to find a favorite line...and I love them all...enjoy life for all it is...a wonderful write my friend...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 01-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much, Linda, for your review of A Requiem. Much appreciated! I'm delighted that you enjoyed it and found meaning in it. Best wishes, Tony
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it is truly one of your best poems...you are soooo welcome Tony...and Best Wishes to you as well...xxoo Linda
Comment from MacMhuirich
This is beautiful poetry my friend, passing our songs onto the birds to sing for us. Great form, rhyme and flow and the content is very thought provoking. Love your presentation with colour and artwork - stunning. This is a joy to read.
Bless you
John
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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This is beautiful poetry my friend, passing our songs onto the birds to sing for us. Great form, rhyme and flow and the content is very thought provoking. Love your presentation with colour and artwork - stunning. This is a joy to read.
Bless you
John
Comment Written 01-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much, John, for your review of A Requiem. Much appreciated! I'm delighted that you enjoyed it and found meaning in it. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Aussie
Brilliant colours in the illustration you chose to compliment your poem. Excellent words of wisdom throughout your ballad/poem. Words are a powerful tool to reach any soul. We read you, we are one. Life was meant to be lived without stopping to think about enjoying what god has given us. Too much stress over nothing, it is sufficient for the day alone. "Be yourself, simple, kind and unpretending." Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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Brilliant colours in the illustration you chose to compliment your poem. Excellent words of wisdom throughout your ballad/poem. Words are a powerful tool to reach any soul. We read you, we are one. Life was meant to be lived without stopping to think about enjoying what god has given us. Too much stress over nothing, it is sufficient for the day alone. "Be yourself, simple, kind and unpretending." Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much, Aussie, for your review of A Requiem. Much appreciated! I'm delighted that you enjoyed it and found meaning in it. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from patcelaw
may the poetry you write never fall on deaf ears or stone cold hearts. May God bless you as you continue to write and share with us your marvelous works. Patricia
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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may the poetry you write never fall on deaf ears or stone cold hearts. May God bless you as you continue to write and share with us your marvelous works. Patricia
Comment Written 31-May-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much, Patricia, for your review of A Requiem. Much appreciated! I'm delighted that you enjoyed it and found meaning in it. Best wishes, Tony
