Before We Go
As a veteran of W.War 2, this is in tribute and remembrance57 total reviews
Comment from Daniel Silverhawk
Ver nice poem
I have only a couple small suggestions if you don't mind. The obvious one is in the sentence "From Pearl to lwo." I'm not sure what word you meant to ne in this place. It seems to be an apparent typo.
Also, in the last verse, "A world where peace and joy reigns" May be missing a syllable. Suggestion: Try A world where our joy peace and joy reigns"
Nut a well written poem of hope for a peaceful future.
Very good
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reply by the author on 04-Nov-2016
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Ver nice poem
I have only a couple small suggestions if you don't mind. The obvious one is in the sentence "From Pearl to lwo." I'm not sure what word you meant to ne in this place. It seems to be an apparent typo.
Also, in the last verse, "A world where peace and joy reigns" May be missing a syllable. Suggestion: Try A world where our joy peace and joy reigns"
Nut a well written poem of hope for a peaceful future.
Very good
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2016
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I meant from Pearl Harbour to Iwo Jimi. They were two big battles of WW2.I thank you for giving me a look
Comment from Jackarrie
we need to stop these wars. if we agreed not to kill each other, we could solve our problems more rationally. Why isn't it okay for one person to punch another in the face for being wrong, but it is okay for a government to commit mass murder? War is an unnecessary evil.
I love the sentiments of your poem Peace is what we should strive for.
Well written, Mary
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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we need to stop these wars. if we agreed not to kill each other, we could solve our problems more rationally. Why isn't it okay for one person to punch another in the face for being wrong, but it is okay for a government to commit mass murder? War is an unnecessary evil.
I love the sentiments of your poem Peace is what we should strive for.
Well written, Mary
Comment Written 03-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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Youare so right. Thank you for stopping by
Comment from ronnie k
This poem such be read by every veteran and as many fan story writer, you left a piece of your heart in this powerful write, I am not a vet but my heart gave room for the brave men that allow me to be free.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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This poem such be read by every veteran and as many fan story writer, you left a piece of your heart in this powerful write, I am not a vet but my heart gave room for the brave men that allow me to be free.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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A very inspiring comment.I really appreciated it
Comment from Mary Wakeford
Hi Jaybird, first of all, thank you for your service. My father served in the Navy during WW2 and passed in 1996. Your poem struck me as coming from someone who witnessed war, and as having that experience, longs for peace and harmony worldwide. Beautiful sentiment.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2016
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Hi Jaybird, first of all, thank you for your service. My father served in the Navy during WW2 and passed in 1996. Your poem struck me as coming from someone who witnessed war, and as having that experience, longs for peace and harmony worldwide. Beautiful sentiment.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2016
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Thank you for your inspiring comment.I did appreciate it
Comment from MelB
This is a wonderful poem about living in peace. I love that you included some of the wars in it and wrote it from a WWII vets perspective. I had no idea they were dying at that rate, but it makes sense. Thank you for your service and helping to provide the freedoms I hope we don't lose after this election.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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This is a wonderful poem about living in peace. I love that you included some of the wars in it and wrote it from a WWII vets perspective. I had no idea they were dying at that rate, but it makes sense. Thank you for your service and helping to provide the freedoms I hope we don't lose after this election.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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I am worried about this election ,also.Thank you for your encouraging comment
Comment from WalkerMan
This is, indeed, a fitting tribute to veterans of any war, and especially those who, like you, successfully fought the Evil threatening to overrun the whole world three-quarters of a century ago. Yet, unless we instantly depose any leader who wants to start a war (as opposed to using force to defend against attack), there always will be such horrid waste of human life and potential. As technology advances, the possibility of war to the total extinction of life on our beautiful planet looms ever darker over us. It would be a joy to all of us if your wish were to come true while you are still here to enjoy celebrating that moment.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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This is, indeed, a fitting tribute to veterans of any war, and especially those who, like you, successfully fought the Evil threatening to overrun the whole world three-quarters of a century ago. Yet, unless we instantly depose any leader who wants to start a war (as opposed to using force to defend against attack), there always will be such horrid waste of human life and potential. As technology advances, the possibility of war to the total extinction of life on our beautiful planet looms ever darker over us. It would be a joy to all of us if your wish were to come true while you are still here to enjoy celebrating that moment.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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Thank you for aa very encouraging comment
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You are welcome. I sincerely hope your wish comes true in your lifetime. -- Mike
Comment from patcelaw
First Jay, let me say thank you for your service in WWII. You were born the same year as my late husband. I wish you good health. Blessings and keep writing your beautiful rhyming poetry. Patricia
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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First Jay, let me say thank you for your service in WWII. You were born the same year as my late husband. I wish you good health. Blessings and keep writing your beautiful rhyming poetry. Patricia
Comment Written 02-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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Thank you-you have given me further inspiration
Comment from zanya
Such great hope for Peaces shines out here from these stanzas while reflecting on major war events that have taken us thus far -let's together pray and work for that hope 'a world where peace and joy reigns'.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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Such great hope for Peaces shines out here from these stanzas while reflecting on major war events that have taken us thus far -let's together pray and work for that hope 'a world where peace and joy reigns'.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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I appreciate your encouraging remarks-thank you
Comment from LIJ Red
Terrifying thought, that all the heroes of yesterday are moving on. Even more terrifying, some Vietnam veterans are joining the exodus, and I don't mean the guys who were forty-year-old top sergeants in 1964...excellent rhyming quatrains...
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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Terrifying thought, that all the heroes of yesterday are moving on. Even more terrifying, some Vietnam veterans are joining the exodus, and I don't mean the guys who were forty-year-old top sergeants in 1964...excellent rhyming quatrains...
Comment Written 02-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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Thank you for your encouraging comment-appreciated
Comment from mkauffman
Thank you for your service. I can imagine that deep emotion and experience are penned in your work. You have rhymed some very significant and tragic events that evoke patriotism for our country but compassion and well wishes for humanity as a whole. Write more of what you know, your contributions are a gift and we are listening.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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Thank you for your service. I can imagine that deep emotion and experience are penned in your work. You have rhymed some very significant and tragic events that evoke patriotism for our country but compassion and well wishes for humanity as a whole. Write more of what you know, your contributions are a gift and we are listening.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016
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Thank you for your very encouraging comment-I appreciated them
