This Old House
Old, old house out in the country67 total reviews
Comment from royowen
It's so true that that a home is not measured by wood, bricks or mortar, or it's munificence. It has character, love, laughter sewn into its framework. A finely smooth work, with great, expressive and descriptive imagery woven into its narrative. Written in iambic tetrameter in abcb rhyming as cladding to emphasise its quality, well done, blessings, Roy
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It's so true that that a home is not measured by wood, bricks or mortar, or it's munificence. It has character, love, laughter sewn into its framework. A finely smooth work, with great, expressive and descriptive imagery woven into its narrative. Written in iambic tetrameter in abcb rhyming as cladding to emphasise its quality, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 15-Jun-2017
Comment from WriterKathy
Beautifully written I can just picture the house you're describing because of the words you use. "No I would not take a million, for this tired old place of mine, because a house is really a home, when it has weathered with the time." My favorite part. Thank you for sharing.
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Beautifully written I can just picture the house you're describing because of the words you use. "No I would not take a million, for this tired old place of mine, because a house is really a home, when it has weathered with the time." My favorite part. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2017
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about the bold house that becomes a valued home over many years. It is the place where we feel comfortable and at peace with familiar surroundings.
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A very well-written poem about the bold house that becomes a valued home over many years. It is the place where we feel comfortable and at peace with familiar surroundings.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2017
Comment from GoodHearted Woman
Lovely tribute, again, to an old house with you taking us right into its heart and soul. Your gratitude (such an attractive quality) shine through all your writing, and your appreciation for old things, still doing their best to be relevant, comes through as well. If I had a whole wheelbarrow of shiny stars, I'd dump them all on your front lawn. No one is ever happy when old age forces them into the city, but are you getting by ok, and do you still write? Do you use a computer. That's the thing that I've always appreciated about being born when I was born. The radio went on at 9:30pm for the news, didn't it, and then Kate Smith sang God Bless America and the radio shut off and all lights. The little town I grew up in & countryside did not even have electricity until about 1939--it was the REA and everyone was raving about the REA. Well, no wonder--now we could put our baby chicks under a sheet with a light bulb and they all lived! This little walk has been fun with you--hope we can do it again soon. Marcia, Wyoming
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
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Lovely tribute, again, to an old house with you taking us right into its heart and soul. Your gratitude (such an attractive quality) shine through all your writing, and your appreciation for old things, still doing their best to be relevant, comes through as well. If I had a whole wheelbarrow of shiny stars, I'd dump them all on your front lawn. No one is ever happy when old age forces them into the city, but are you getting by ok, and do you still write? Do you use a computer. That's the thing that I've always appreciated about being born when I was born. The radio went on at 9:30pm for the news, didn't it, and then Kate Smith sang God Bless America and the radio shut off and all lights. The little town I grew up in & countryside did not even have electricity until about 1939--it was the REA and everyone was raving about the REA. Well, no wonder--now we could put our baby chicks under a sheet with a light bulb and they all lived! This little walk has been fun with you--hope we can do it again soon. Marcia, Wyoming
Comment Written 28-May-2016
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
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Sounds very much like my childhood.Again , I thank you for visiting with me.You are my type of lady
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Jay.
This is a lovely poem that I enjoyed reading. I like the country better, too. Good cadence, flow and rhyming to your poem. Content is nostalgic and interesting. Some reviewers will rate your work down in stars if you have SPAG (spelling, punctuation and grammar). You have SPAG to repair in these spots:
"with it's (its--it's is a contraction for "it is") sagging walls and chimneys,"
It has served a useful purpose
for a hundred years. (remove .) or more
and has welcomed many faces,
through it's (its) weather beaten door/ (remove /)
Like a mother toiling ever,
it has lost it's (its) shape, (remove ,) once trim
and it's (its) style is long outmoded
by more youthful ones with vim.
Now, it sits on it's (its) foundation,
sinking slowly in the sand,
tired from all it's (its) years of serving.
How it needs a helping hand.
No, I would not take a million
for this tired old place of mine; (omit ;)
Because (because--omit capital B) a house is really home
when it has weathered with the time.
Marilyn
reply by the author on 22-May-2016
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Hi Jay.
This is a lovely poem that I enjoyed reading. I like the country better, too. Good cadence, flow and rhyming to your poem. Content is nostalgic and interesting. Some reviewers will rate your work down in stars if you have SPAG (spelling, punctuation and grammar). You have SPAG to repair in these spots:
"with it's (its--it's is a contraction for "it is") sagging walls and chimneys,"
It has served a useful purpose
for a hundred years. (remove .) or more
and has welcomed many faces,
through it's (its) weather beaten door/ (remove /)
Like a mother toiling ever,
it has lost it's (its) shape, (remove ,) once trim
and it's (its) style is long outmoded
by more youthful ones with vim.
Now, it sits on it's (its) foundation,
sinking slowly in the sand,
tired from all it's (its) years of serving.
How it needs a helping hand.
No, I would not take a million
for this tired old place of mine; (omit ;)
Because (because--omit capital B) a house is really home
when it has weathered with the time.
Marilyn
Comment Written 22-May-2016
reply by the author on 22-May-2016
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DearBeas-thank you for pointing out my mistakes.I need and welcome that.It has been a long time since my school days
and I need all the help I can get-THANK YOU
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You are so welcome.
Comment from AnnaLinda
Jaybird1,
I so enjoyed reading this creative poem personifying
that old friendly, cozy home. I particularly liked the
part where you compared it to an aging woman being
replaced by younger ones with more vim...As well as
the following stanza:
"It has served a useful purpose
for a hundred years. or more
and has welcomed many faces,
through it's weather beaten door/"
(you do have a (slash) at the end of that
line after door)
Love this and your city place now offers
you less maintenance costs and better
mobility and health care...I'm guessing.
Linda
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-May-2016
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Jaybird1,
I so enjoyed reading this creative poem personifying
that old friendly, cozy home. I particularly liked the
part where you compared it to an aging woman being
replaced by younger ones with more vim...As well as
the following stanza:
"It has served a useful purpose
for a hundred years. or more
and has welcomed many faces,
through it's weather beaten door/"
(you do have a (slash) at the end of that
line after door)
Love this and your city place now offers
you less maintenance costs and better
mobility and health care...I'm guessing.
Linda
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-May-2016
reply by the author on 22-May-2016
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Many thanks Linda-I corrected some typos.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Nice sentiments and descriptions running through this piece. it needs a little bit of an edit though for punctuation / spelling.
with it's sagging walls - its is the possessive form.
for a hundred years. or more - I think this should be a comma rather than a full stop.
through it's weather beaten - its.
it has lost it's shape - its
and it's style is long - its.
Now, it sits on it's foundation - its.
tired from all it's years - its.
All the best
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-May-2016
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Hi there,
Nice sentiments and descriptions running through this piece. it needs a little bit of an edit though for punctuation / spelling.
with it's sagging walls - its is the possessive form.
for a hundred years. or more - I think this should be a comma rather than a full stop.
through it's weather beaten - its.
it has lost it's shape - its
and it's style is long - its.
Now, it sits on it's foundation - its.
tired from all it's years - its.
All the best
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-May-2016
reply by the author on 22-May-2016
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Thank you.I am glad you pointed out my mistakes. I have corrected them.I need all the help I can get
