Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

This is witty and charming. It reveals a lot of creative imagination and in the short space of the poem you develop the characters so well, both Rupert and Hilda "holding a meeting" in the garden, then later both play a part in the taming of the Dragon. Very well done!

 Comment Written 24-May-2016

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reply by the author on 24-May-2016

Thanks, Jay.

In the series, we have met Hilda and Rupert from a very young age and they have become gradually closer. I am envisaging a final instalment which includes a glittering royal wedding!

Steve

Comment from jusylee72

Excellent

So sweet that little sleepy dragon. I could definitely see myself reading this to my grand daughter. I will soon be a grand parent to another child soon. I hope this is a children's book someday.

 Comment Written 24-May-2016

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reply by the author on 24-May-2016

Thank you for the fine review.

I have tried submitting the other Gobbledegooks poems for publication, but no joy so far. Perhaps when I get the series completed - another episode or two - I will try again.

Steve

Comment from Kooky Clown

Exceptional

I had to give this six as I just loved it I looked at it and read it through the eyes of a child and imagined a child listening to someone reading it to them and could imagine the delight on their faces as the poem was told. Great stuff loved it well done.

 Comment Written 24-May-2016

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reply by the author on 24-May-2016

Kooky, thanks so much for the great review and the array of stars.

Steve

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

These are great tales that roll along with splendid rhymes and rhythms. Are the callays and calloohs consciously 'lifted' from Jabberwocky - "callooh, callay oh frabjous day" and is "...not showing a morsel of fear" consciously taken from Albert and the Lion?
"Just then and there little Albert, not showing a morsel of fear
took his stick with the 'orses 'ead 'andle and poked it in Wallace's ear."

Should these 'pinches' be acknowledged? What do you think?

 Comment Written 24-May-2016

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reply by the author on 24-May-2016

Oh to have your sharp eye - or is it ear? You are the only one to spot either 'pinch'. I love Albert - one of my favourite humorous poems, although you can't beat Lewis Carroll.

You are probably right - Ee, I am vexed!

Thanks for the lovely review.

Steve

Comment from Lynn27

Excellent

Very nice piece! I found your lines enchanting and captivating throughout this piece that drew into your words. While the details painted the image as I read. The photo was a good choice too.

Happy Writing,

Lynn

 Comment Written 24-May-2016

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reply by the author on 24-May-2016

Thanks, Lynn - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from nomi338

Exceptional

This is an absolutely delightful poem that I believe would delight both young and old equally. I would love to see it in a children's book. I wonder if it ever occurred to you to submit it for publication to a children's book publisher. As children's books with stories of this type are not that thick, I believe that this would be deemed perfectly acceptable. I urge you to consider it.

 Comment Written 24-May-2016

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reply by the author on 24-May-2016

Thanks, Nomi.

As I say in my notes, this is the sixth instalment of Gobbledegooks. I did submit the then series to a publisher last year, but met with no success. I'm looking to draw the series to an end before too long, perhaps with a grand royal wedding. Then I will try again.

I would consider self-publishing, but the illustrator problem is a bit daunting.

Steve

reply by nomi338 on 24-May-2016

That you are having problems getting published is really a shame. I have a publisher, America Star Books, some people hate them, but I have published three books with them and there is a fourth one waiting to be published. Neither has cost me a dime.

reply by the author on 24-May-2016

Thanks, I'll take a look. What sort of books do they publish?

reply by nomi338 on 25-May-2016

Every type. Good luck.

Comment from enitsalemap

Excellent

For kids who like dragons, and what kid doesn't this poem has a lot to offer. I would like to see the book with all the pictures you envision. I will try to look it up in your portfolio. The rhymes are strong and the meter moves the story along at a dragon galloping pace. Very nicely done.

 Comment Written 24-May-2016

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reply by the author on 24-May-2016

Thanks, Pamela.

If you visit my portfolio and then click on the magnifying glass search icon, the 'books' all rise to the top. I think Gobbledegooks is second on the list. While you're there, why don't you take a look at Cheezel the Weasel?

Steve

reply by enitsalemap on 24-May-2016

Will do, Steve, look forward to it

Comment from Kazzawin

Exceptional

Excellent!

Fantastic and funny story that will delight children and adults alike.

I love the thought of the dangerous dragon who turned out to be quite a softy really!!

So many scrumptious words crammed in and superb rhyming.

Good Luck in the contest . . . although I'm up against you, this is really good : )

 Comment Written 24-May-2016

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reply by the author on 24-May-2016

Thanks, Kazza. I am so glad you enjoyed this.

I shall keep an eye out for your entry. It is one of my continuing gripes that they don't give us any means of seeing all the other entries in these site competitions.

Steve

Comment from Briergate

Excellent

I Adore this! It reminds me so much of the Jabberwocky, and the language, fun and brilliant imagery made me smile. Best wishes for the comp, this is lovely x

 Comment Written 24-May-2016

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reply by the author on 24-May-2016

Thank you for the great review. You may have noticed that I borrowed Callooh and Callay from the Jabberwocky. I didn't think Lewis Carroll would mind! My poem is a little less bloodthirsty than his.

Steve

Comment from mfowler

Exceptional

Not surprising to know you're used to children, Steve. You know what to serve up. I think you may have entered a Gobbledygooks tale in another of these Story in a Poem contests. And it is just that, a charming fantasy romp wiith a wide range of engaging characters setting out to satisfy a hungry dragon. What's lovely about this medieval utopia is how nice everyone is. Even the dragon is a hungry lizard with a liking for pastries. The usual despotic royal is a sharer and a problem solver, and even the merchant classes are super generous with their bakery produce. Your choice of language is so well connected to the time and genre, but it was the great use of clever rhyme and fantastic words that win my admiration eg
Final surprise...doughnuts for eyes
No more ado...summons her crew
A winner in my eyes.

 Comment Written 24-May-2016

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reply by the author on 24-May-2016

Thanks, Mark.

Yes, an earlier instalment won this same contest at the end of last year. It was the one where Hilda graduated from scullery-maid to chef by winning the Cake of the Year contest.

And you are right about the Gobbledegooks being nice. I was a bit becalmed at first, having decided on a dragon, as to how to dispose of him without bloodshed on either side. The cakes allowed a link back to Hilda. My plan is for a big finale soon, with a royal wedding - what think you?

Steve

reply by mfowler on 24-May-2016

I think it will work if they are published together somewhere. I'm sure you can make it work as a stand alone such as this and then it's up to you where you take it.