Comment from Galactia

Excellent

Hi, long time, no see:(

Lovely little 5'7'5 poen. I noticed all the stanza's are in perfect 5'7'5 syllable count bar the last stanza witch has 4'7'5

Strong/holds/right/ous

Regards
Tia

 Comment Written 27-May-2016

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reply by the author on 27-May-2016

oh....my mouth works out as three..right-she-is...-smile-....so what should I do...? put a "her" in there....are you sure.../ it hasn't worked before...ahahaha....thank you this has been up for weeks...I wonder why. good to see you...love Michael

Comment from Nika2016

Excellent

The entire poem captures the imagination in word and vision. The words paint many different images. The lady may be somewhat unclear of what it is the poet desires. He seems to be offering something in return for....? Always...enigmatic poems that keep the reader guessing as to meaning...and isn't that why others keep returning? In life though, the meaning must be certain to obtain the desired response. Nice writing.

 Comment Written 25-May-2016

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reply by the author on 25-May-2016

Well tell her I'm prone to belly rubs and barely there underwear....-smile- Hey thanks for stopping by Nika....Michael

Comment from Lovinia

Excellent

Hi Michael

Well that moving image (what-ever-they're-called) is fabulous and ignites the passion even before reading your poems. Sounds to me like a lost love turned to cold ashes, yet the narrator would be very happy to re-awaken. Some love just doesn't ever die and one holds it to the zenith. Some nice alliteration which works here, you've managed to convey free verse and contain it in three 5-7-5's ... very clever. Well done for the challenge Michael. Love and huge hugs - Lovi xoxo

 Comment Written 24-May-2016

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reply by the author on 24-May-2016

Hi...I thought maybe you were avoiding me. I hope I haven't done anything to upset you...certainly didn't mean to...-smile-...How have you been...? And Mo...? Thank you Sweet...ah just killing another Saturday night. I got to go look at a job...I will swing by your port when I get back....love Michael

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

A very interesting response to this challenge, my friend. It is well done and different from the others I have read. I enjoyed this and glad you participated in this challenge~Debbie

 Comment Written 22-May-2016

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reply by the author on 23-May-2016

Hi Deb...-smile-
why thank you...I appreciate the camaraderie.
I don't write well confined but I suppose this gives me reason to try. love Michael

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

This is a very deep spiritual write for this week's Fire topic. Good syllable count and great artwork to go with your words. A great variety of topics, and yours is quite different,
cheers,

 Comment Written 22-May-2016

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reply by the author on 22-May-2016

yes Maam...they've been pointing at me since 1961.
I wish they'd pass a law or something protecting misunderstood redheads. Do you know that once I was in a line up...-headshake-...yes Maam....when I was in the Navy...I well I was Goldie Hawn in that movie...did you see it...only a lot more aggressive cause I was fed up with some stuff...and let couple folk know. I had been to Captains mast and didn't appreciate it...so I requested a court marshal ya know to tell my side of the "story" of "my" life. and so...I was placed in ah the brig immediately following my oration...hm hmm...thirty days in the hole...that's what they give ya now. Anyway I'll save you all the life altering details....but for the first three days you're kept in a ...hole...cut out of the side of rock...oh maybe four feet high with a bunk upon which when you sit with your back against the cold you can reach out and touch the other wall of your confine. every day at four in the morning the Marines would wake you, make you roll up the gym mat mattress and just sit there...ahhaha...yea buddy...crazy comes to call ya by name come around one in the afternoon. Especially when ever you fall asleep...and you will....no one can sit there and not...that's why they do it....when you do they retrieve the ice bucket previously placed outside each "hole" and they throw it on you.
after three days...you are animal...and would rip flesh from solider should they pass by within striking distance...ahhaha..this is a true story of my life please pay attention Pearl....well I survived...naturally. and upon my rebirth into cans and cant do's cage....I looked up from the plop on a plate of some kind of potato substance...I believe. To find "Me"...serving ..."Me". I swear to God. His name was Prevat.... I memorized it stenciled over his left breast pocket along with a million other things I had never seen before. I had wondered why the guards had been calling me that name since I'd arrived....and now I was looking at reason. "We" immediately disliked each other immensely. the very next day I awoke to my name ringing out loud. Front and center type stuff. when I arrived "center" I was surrounded by red heads....and must have ah let known my frustration and need for explanation known, when a voice rang out..."its a line up"...I looked toward origin to find "me" again...BBBRRRRrrrrrrrr...freakin creepy. I gave me a dirty look and climbed in the van. we arrived somewhere with a stage....and were lined up. I was number three, Guess who was number four...-headshake- yep....they lifted the curtain and there were several folk we were performing for one of which when asked...pointed at me...ahahaa...and I of course responded in highly agitated manner...."I've never seen this man before"...and ah lil' bit more...where in which a gentleman standing next my unknown accuser approached mt very quickly trying to "hush" me...assuring me "everyone" knew I didn't know him...and or was the one who high jacked the on base bus loaded with people after he threw this pissed of driver off....that would have been number four of course. and so Prevat loved me....suddenly....serving me...whatever the hell I wanted from then on...it didn't last long...a few days of guard notice they were screaming at him...one certain wouldn't stop...he Prevat had requested he do so several times....and then he knocked him out cold. Well...you don't get to do that in the brig....you know some of them war junkies live for this kind of shit....all heck broke lose, the shotguns, riot gear....nine yards of riled up what I been waiting for thundered upon us. Prevate was taken back to the holes. I was released before he was. I saw him...me...once more at a bar in downtown charelston. We stayed out late and I ended up leaving him locked in his car...the sun was rising I had to get back to base...he was passed out. well thanks for listening Pearl...always a pleasure to pass time. love Michael

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

I enjoyed your fire challenge poem. Your picture is super. I believe you are saying that God's truth withstands the fires. [your words are very deep--I hope this is close].

Good job on the syllable count. Thanks for sharing a thought-provoking poem. Jan

 Comment Written 22-May-2016

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reply by the author on 22-May-2016

Yes, I'm saying covenant love is chosen....sworn before God Holy. ....and those who posses it....are blessed. Elaborate and simple....thank you sweet. Love michael

Comment from Ima L. Ami

Excellent

Hell and damnation! Great poem, very deep. You write with true intesity. One thing, in the first line, should it be "dead weight"? If not, then maybe "dead... wait", like one is dead and waiting? Sometimes I am shallow and miss things :) lmao

 Comment Written 22-May-2016

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reply by the author on 22-May-2016

Hey Sue....smile....usually what's going on in my now....ah finds its way out i.no I meant wait.....it means a God love loves giant size.....smile.....ah maybe I'll autobio next.....those have to be easy to follow haha.....writing from my today sweetie....punctuation s probably better than usual. Love michael

reply by Ima L. Ami on 23-May-2016

Lol, oh yeah, much better than usual! God's love 2u2 -giggles-

Comment from brenda bickers

Excellent

Hi,
this is an interesting poem, about burning love and the desire to remain true... I think that is what you are saying while maybe the person you desire doesn't feel that way. If I have it wrong it sounded great read aloud.
Brendax

 Comment Written 22-May-2016

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reply by the author on 22-May-2016

Oh I think she does....or will soon. Yes.....your conclusion is accurate...smile...thank you Brenda. Love michael

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is an excellent write, Michael, you did an excellent job writing this 5 7 5 poems about sustaining faith in love and in God. I enjoyed reading these and don't know what else to say about it......

 Comment Written 22-May-2016

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reply by the author on 23-May-2016

Hi Pam...-smile-
good to see you around. Well...that you enjoyed it is enough. appreciate you Sweet. love Michael

Comment from michaelcahill

Excellent

AHHHHH! Yes. That's what I love. Taking these little forms and transforming them into poetry. welcome to the party. This is awesome work here, my friend. You even conformed, for a moment, to our strange ways. LOL
Stellar in every way. To your message I say, YES!!!!!
Love to you, mikey

 Comment Written 22-May-2016

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reply by the author on 23-May-2016

haha....ah well it aint easy being me trying on other forms clothes. but some red just cant be covered up Mav....ahhaha....thank you Brother. It was a good idea you two came up with. love Michael