For the Love of Words
Free Verse58 total reviews
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
You give the reader much to think about in this terrific entry for the Love Poem contest, Tony. Wish I had a sixth star to give you for this.
Very creative with some very original things that most of us wouldn't even ever think of, such as: "thesaurus wrecks" ... ha, brilliant! Loved "siren words" too. :) The questioning also really engages the reader and draws them into your write.
"Do you love your words?" ... you bet I do! Every writer can relate very well to what you have written. Best wishes for the contest, Tony!
Connie
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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You give the reader much to think about in this terrific entry for the Love Poem contest, Tony. Wish I had a sixth star to give you for this.
Very creative with some very original things that most of us wouldn't even ever think of, such as: "thesaurus wrecks" ... ha, brilliant! Loved "siren words" too. :) The questioning also really engages the reader and draws them into your write.
"Do you love your words?" ... you bet I do! Every writer can relate very well to what you have written. Best wishes for the contest, Tony!
Connie
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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What a lovely review, Connie! So much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Wabigoon
Tony--
Not sure how this is a "love poem" entry, but it's sure a good poem. It could be touted in front of my wife's English class as an example of the the Poetic mechanisms you mention. But, that's not what you're after, or talking about, writing about, I don't think. I think you are talking about the poet's function, how there is another level to the word poet's know, lonely know. That's my sense of this poem, how you, the poet, are both writing the realities, even if in the past, you describe, and acknowledging them, that writing, now. That's what I hear. It's a much more complex, ambitious poem that I was expecting from you. It's terrific.
Couple of points:
lascivious flow of (fornication?) -- I just hate this word. Maybe there's another?
"ungainly elephants that trample grass,
or do they wallow like thesaurus wrecks," -- terrific
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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Tony--
Not sure how this is a "love poem" entry, but it's sure a good poem. It could be touted in front of my wife's English class as an example of the the Poetic mechanisms you mention. But, that's not what you're after, or talking about, writing about, I don't think. I think you are talking about the poet's function, how there is another level to the word poet's know, lonely know. That's my sense of this poem, how you, the poet, are both writing the realities, even if in the past, you describe, and acknowledging them, that writing, now. That's what I hear. It's a much more complex, ambitious poem that I was expecting from you. It's terrific.
Couple of points:
lascivious flow of (fornication?) -- I just hate this word. Maybe there's another?
"ungainly elephants that trample grass,
or do they wallow like thesaurus wrecks," -- terrific
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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Very many thanks, Jeff. I am an admirer of your poetry and so your comments and accolade of stars mean much to me. I was working outside my comfort zone with this and wasn't sure how it would be received. I agree with you that 'fornicate' is not a pretty word, any more so than its Anglo-Saxon equivalent. However, I needed a Latin derivation here for the contrast, and the other alternative, copulation, did not sit so well in the line.
Comment from marion
Hi TFAWCUS
I envy your ability - that's all I have to say! I'll thin I'll let the stars do the talking on this very well penned love poem. I just wish I had half of your talent when it comes to poetry!
Good Luck in the contest. I think you'll be a top contender.
Marion.
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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Hi TFAWCUS
I envy your ability - that's all I have to say! I'll thin I'll let the stars do the talking on this very well penned love poem. I just wish I had half of your talent when it comes to poetry!
Good Luck in the contest. I think you'll be a top contender.
Marion.
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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Thank you so much for this, Marion - the six stars, of course, but more especially your kind words accompanying them. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Dean Kuch
Do you love your words
in the heat of passion,
in the frenzy of lust,
in the cold moonlight,
in the close juxtaposition
of sound and echo
in the halls of memory,
or do your words just lie
in the caves of unwritten desire? ...Yes, Tony. I love not only MY words, but words in general. And my words never just "lie there", not if I've done my job correctly. Hopefully they spring forth, and take on a life all their own...
Are they your children,
innocent, playful, incongruous,
dressed in gingham frocks?
Do your words have buck teeth and pimples,
are they shy and nervous,
do they shine through tears? ... I've don't believe I've ever dressed anything in gingham frocks, not even my children. Perhaps my Chihuahua ... once ...
Are your words
all fingers and thumbs,
staccato stabs at utterance
tapped out on keys,
unlocking a new language with acrimonious brevity
that profanely screams its love to God. Oh, my...!
and lolls and rolls on floors in laughter,
as idle youths will do? ...Again, hopefully...IF I've done it properly, they do. I suppose it's all a matter of opinion, namely my own...
Are they blunt
with the Saxon brevity of fuck and cunt,
or is theirs
the long lascivious flow of fornication?
Do they talk and pray
or stalk and prey? ..All of the above. It all depends upon what I'm writing. If I'm writing children's poetry for instance, then I most generally tend to leave "fuck" and "cunt" out of the equation entirely.
However, If I'm writing a horror/thriller story, well ...
A nice batch of eloquent labyrinthine adjectives, adverbs, nouns, and verbs--all strung intricately and strategically together to basically convey a simple message that all of us here "should" be able to relate to.
You love words.
Nicely done, Tony.
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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Do you love your words
in the heat of passion,
in the frenzy of lust,
in the cold moonlight,
in the close juxtaposition
of sound and echo
in the halls of memory,
or do your words just lie
in the caves of unwritten desire? ...Yes, Tony. I love not only MY words, but words in general. And my words never just "lie there", not if I've done my job correctly. Hopefully they spring forth, and take on a life all their own...
Are they your children,
innocent, playful, incongruous,
dressed in gingham frocks?
Do your words have buck teeth and pimples,
are they shy and nervous,
do they shine through tears? ... I've don't believe I've ever dressed anything in gingham frocks, not even my children. Perhaps my Chihuahua ... once ...
Are your words
all fingers and thumbs,
staccato stabs at utterance
tapped out on keys,
unlocking a new language with acrimonious brevity
that profanely screams its love to God. Oh, my...!
and lolls and rolls on floors in laughter,
as idle youths will do? ...Again, hopefully...IF I've done it properly, they do. I suppose it's all a matter of opinion, namely my own...
Are they blunt
with the Saxon brevity of fuck and cunt,
or is theirs
the long lascivious flow of fornication?
Do they talk and pray
or stalk and prey? ..All of the above. It all depends upon what I'm writing. If I'm writing children's poetry for instance, then I most generally tend to leave "fuck" and "cunt" out of the equation entirely.
However, If I'm writing a horror/thriller story, well ...
A nice batch of eloquent labyrinthine adjectives, adverbs, nouns, and verbs--all strung intricately and strategically together to basically convey a simple message that all of us here "should" be able to relate to.
You love words.
Nicely done, Tony.
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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Many thanks, Dean, for your comprehensive reply. I wasn't thinking specifically of you with words that 'stalk and prey' - though yours do often send a shiver up the spine! LOL.
Comment from RGstar
Well, Tony, what can I say. I have no sixes, but you defined words in a way that I didn't think possible. The thing is, I don't know how you managed to carry the intensity through to the end. Controversial, Naw, needed, yes!
Love poem? Well with a difference, but no discounting its quality.
Good luck, best wishes,
RG
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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Well, Tony, what can I say. I have no sixes, but you defined words in a way that I didn't think possible. The thing is, I don't know how you managed to carry the intensity through to the end. Controversial, Naw, needed, yes!
Love poem? Well with a difference, but no discounting its quality.
Good luck, best wishes,
RG
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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Very many thanks, RG. I am an admirer of your poetry and so your comments mean much to me. I was working outside my comfort zone with this and wasn't sure how it would be received. Best wishes, Tony
[I've just tried my hand at putting a sound file with this, RG. As an undisputed expert in the field, what do you think? Does it add, or detract?]
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I've just tried my hand at putting a sound file with this, RG. As an undisputed expert in the field, what do you think? Does it add, or detract?
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Hi Tony. Sorry it took so long to get back to you.
I wrote a long message then turned the page by mistake and it disappeared.
So good to hear your voice on this one. Such a joy for me to be able to experience the listening in view o0f how mine are listened to.
Greta job. One thing I thought of. The next one you do , I might not give character to each section as you did , though it enhances the imagery and narative, I think rather than go into character, I would just vary it a little with tone, for when there is so much emphasis on the characters and the the different voices for each theme, the reader might then concentrate on the voices and the different characteristicts attached instaed of being lulled through.
But! a very good Work...thoroughly enjoyed it.
Bets wishes
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was some love poem, Tony! What a play on words, all words. Words are what we do best, we love to talk, to write, to speak of love, we just love to play with words, put them in places, different places. You have worked all this out in your amazing poem of loving words. Excellent, Tony, it deserves a six that I don't have. But I wish you all the best of luck in the contest, it is superb! :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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That was some love poem, Tony! What a play on words, all words. Words are what we do best, we love to talk, to write, to speak of love, we just love to play with words, put them in places, different places. You have worked all this out in your amazing poem of loving words. Excellent, Tony, it deserves a six that I don't have. But I wish you all the best of luck in the contest, it is superb! :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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What a lovely review, Sandra! So much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from I am Cat
By the time I had read this five or six times... I started out with a bravo! bravo!
I ended with a George Carlin (seven dirty words) utterance : shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits! Because I knew MY OWN entry into this contest, only one friggin day old, had once again been BEAT! Dammit! LOL
Last year you beat me with "The Song"! The BEST poem I've ever read in my life! Well, move over Poe, move over Mary Oliver... dammit Tony! You're quickly becoming my FAVORITE all-time poet! rackin' sackin'! LOL
This HAS to be the BEST of the best, my dear and how happy I am that I've saved this six for your wonderful poem! It's amazing! Just amazing. I love your choices and chances you've taken which may, by some, seem extreme, but which I believe to be SO amazing! WOW! I abso-fucking-lutely loved it! And yes, I'll be beat out again (it's really no contest) by you in this contest... but wow! This is amazing and DESERVES to win any and all contests, in my humble opinion. ;)
Well done...
Some of my favorite places (which is every freakin line!)
....or do your words just lie
in the caves of unwritten desire?
(yes!)
Do they dwell in still, small spaces,
the heartbeats of the firmament?
(indeed they do)
Are they your children,
innocent, playful, incongruous,
dressed in gingham frocks?
Do your words have buck teeth and pimples,
are they shy and nervous,
do they shine through tears?
(please open a writing retreat and let me come to your B&B and stay and write for weeks on end! PLEASE???????~!!!!!!!!!)
Are your words
all fingers and thumbs,
staccato stabs at utterance
tapped out on keys,
unlocking a new language with acrimonious brevity
that profanely screams its love to God. Oh, my...!
and lolls and rolls on floors in laughter,
as idle youths will do?
(oh Tony! This is just speaks to my soul! Teach me your ways Oh Obie-Won!) ;)
Are they born in wealth and beauty,
or do they struggle, as beggars on the street,
in need of love?
(they certainly do as of late)
Are they words of courtly love, outpourings
of medieval beauty and verbal foreplay,
or do they stammer like a palpitating heart
that's long on passion, short on art?
(wow!)
Are they blunt
with the Saxon brevity of fuck and cunt,
or is theirs
the long lascivious flow of fornication?
(and here, you lay it all out there... one of the WORST words in the history of language, and I found myself cheering you on!)
Do they talk and pray
or stalk and prey?
(SO clever!)
Do they drive you to despair,
a firefly hunt in forest gloaming,
rustling through an alliteration of leaves
upon the forest floor,
(ok, I have to admit I wanted MORE alliteration than 'forest floor' here but if that's my only complaint in the entire poem, you're doing pretty well)
...leaves that conceal a still hiss of assonance?
Do they flicker briefly with a forked tongue,
or speak the truth bravely?
(lovely!)
Do they fight one another,
ungainly elephants that trample grass,
or do they wallow like thesaurus wrecks,
drowning in seas of dead language,
dragged down by the barnacles and bladderwrack
of scholarship?
(great metaphors!)
Are they siren words to coax seafarers,
or siren words, wailing
as they cut through traffic
raucously,
racing to hospital
with your cold hands grasping
at the ebb tide of death?
(wow, this just had me reading and reading again and again!)
Do they conjugate and sing,
stretch the syntax of the known
to seek new fields in which to lie
watching leaves spin, and wonder why
such life of pulsing green
should turn vermillion and scream
against the storm,
then drift down
to rest
in peace?
I especially love the first five lines of this part... unbelievably amazing!
I think this poem just screams to be read aloud and I'd love to hear you do so! wow!
Hell, I"d love to read it aloud! lol
Great job Tony, I absolutely, (again) would love to be beat out by this poem of yours and would LOVE to see it win this contest! ;) It could have gone in the free verse contest as well... Some may say it belonged there more, but I think your take on this is amazing!
I loved it and am so pleased to bestow the SIX STARS on it. (my last of the week)
Great job!
Cat
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
|
By the time I had read this five or six times... I started out with a bravo! bravo!
I ended with a George Carlin (seven dirty words) utterance : shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits! Because I knew MY OWN entry into this contest, only one friggin day old, had once again been BEAT! Dammit! LOL
Last year you beat me with "The Song"! The BEST poem I've ever read in my life! Well, move over Poe, move over Mary Oliver... dammit Tony! You're quickly becoming my FAVORITE all-time poet! rackin' sackin'! LOL
This HAS to be the BEST of the best, my dear and how happy I am that I've saved this six for your wonderful poem! It's amazing! Just amazing. I love your choices and chances you've taken which may, by some, seem extreme, but which I believe to be SO amazing! WOW! I abso-fucking-lutely loved it! And yes, I'll be beat out again (it's really no contest) by you in this contest... but wow! This is amazing and DESERVES to win any and all contests, in my humble opinion. ;)
Well done...
Some of my favorite places (which is every freakin line!)
....or do your words just lie
in the caves of unwritten desire?
(yes!)
Do they dwell in still, small spaces,
the heartbeats of the firmament?
(indeed they do)
Are they your children,
innocent, playful, incongruous,
dressed in gingham frocks?
Do your words have buck teeth and pimples,
are they shy and nervous,
do they shine through tears?
(please open a writing retreat and let me come to your B&B and stay and write for weeks on end! PLEASE???????~!!!!!!!!!)
Are your words
all fingers and thumbs,
staccato stabs at utterance
tapped out on keys,
unlocking a new language with acrimonious brevity
that profanely screams its love to God. Oh, my...!
and lolls and rolls on floors in laughter,
as idle youths will do?
(oh Tony! This is just speaks to my soul! Teach me your ways Oh Obie-Won!) ;)
Are they born in wealth and beauty,
or do they struggle, as beggars on the street,
in need of love?
(they certainly do as of late)
Are they words of courtly love, outpourings
of medieval beauty and verbal foreplay,
or do they stammer like a palpitating heart
that's long on passion, short on art?
(wow!)
Are they blunt
with the Saxon brevity of fuck and cunt,
or is theirs
the long lascivious flow of fornication?
(and here, you lay it all out there... one of the WORST words in the history of language, and I found myself cheering you on!)
Do they talk and pray
or stalk and prey?
(SO clever!)
Do they drive you to despair,
a firefly hunt in forest gloaming,
rustling through an alliteration of leaves
upon the forest floor,
(ok, I have to admit I wanted MORE alliteration than 'forest floor' here but if that's my only complaint in the entire poem, you're doing pretty well)
...leaves that conceal a still hiss of assonance?
Do they flicker briefly with a forked tongue,
or speak the truth bravely?
(lovely!)
Do they fight one another,
ungainly elephants that trample grass,
or do they wallow like thesaurus wrecks,
drowning in seas of dead language,
dragged down by the barnacles and bladderwrack
of scholarship?
(great metaphors!)
Are they siren words to coax seafarers,
or siren words, wailing
as they cut through traffic
raucously,
racing to hospital
with your cold hands grasping
at the ebb tide of death?
(wow, this just had me reading and reading again and again!)
Do they conjugate and sing,
stretch the syntax of the known
to seek new fields in which to lie
watching leaves spin, and wonder why
such life of pulsing green
should turn vermillion and scream
against the storm,
then drift down
to rest
in peace?
I especially love the first five lines of this part... unbelievably amazing!
I think this poem just screams to be read aloud and I'd love to hear you do so! wow!
Hell, I"d love to read it aloud! lol
Great job Tony, I absolutely, (again) would love to be beat out by this poem of yours and would LOVE to see it win this contest! ;) It could have gone in the free verse contest as well... Some may say it belonged there more, but I think your take on this is amazing!
I loved it and am so pleased to bestow the SIX STARS on it. (my last of the week)
Great job!
Cat
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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Wow! What an amazing review, Cat. I'm thrilled that you liked this, for I was working outside my comfort zone here and wasn't too sure how it would be received. Such fabulous words from the queen of free verse mean much indeed. You are probably right that this might have been better suited to the Free Verse contest. I'm not sure how it will fare here. One never knows! I certainly didn't expect to win the Triolet contest.
I did actually give you a double dose of alliteration - mostly in the line "rustLing through an aLLiteration of Leaves" - the "forest floor" was a free bonus! LOL
Just loved this review of yours! I should cut it out and frame it, to cheer me through the fallow days!
All the best, Tony.
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Oh dear Tony, you don't have fallow days! ;)
I would fallow you anywhere ;) lol
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Fallow me fallow, down to the hollow and there let us wallow, in glorious mud ...with apologies to Flanders and Swann!
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lolol...
Fallow me, where I go, where I live, who I know... make it part of me, to be a part of you.... (apologies to John Denver) ;)
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I've just tried my hand at putting a sound file with this, Cat. What do you think?
Comment from Caressa_08
A poem that was a good read and also proves to the reader how important words are throughout our lifetime, in so many different circumstances, they express our feelings and reveal to others so much what is on our mind, and too, at times, can be an expressful release when we are angry or upset...and then just maybe, a good thing, no one is around us during those times.
Thanks for sharing...Caress_08
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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A poem that was a good read and also proves to the reader how important words are throughout our lifetime, in so many different circumstances, they express our feelings and reveal to others so much what is on our mind, and too, at times, can be an expressful release when we are angry or upset...and then just maybe, a good thing, no one is around us during those times.
Thanks for sharing...Caress_08
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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What a lovely review, Caressa, and what interesting comments! So much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from LIJ Red
What does this excellent poem of writers and their use, misuse, or wannabe employment of words to appall, confuse or put to sleep others
have to do with love? Oh, you love words even when they are contrary as mules. Excellent.
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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What does this excellent poem of writers and their use, misuse, or wannabe employment of words to appall, confuse or put to sleep others
have to do with love? Oh, you love words even when they are contrary as mules. Excellent.
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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Thanks, LIJR. I think you may be right about this being somewhat misplaced in this contest - although love of words does tend to define us, both as poets and as human beings. Glad you enjoyed it anyway! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Slythytove2
I'm not sure. Beauty- in a verbal sense- is to the ear of the beholder. But then again to the eyes too. So the ayes have it or so I'm told. Of course the beeholder has a stinging sense and doesn't really count anyway.
Aren't we lucky to have English as our Mother tongue?
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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I'm not sure. Beauty- in a verbal sense- is to the ear of the beholder. But then again to the eyes too. So the ayes have it or so I'm told. Of course the beeholder has a stinging sense and doesn't really count anyway.
Aren't we lucky to have English as our Mother tongue?
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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Many thanks for this kind review, Slythytove2. We are indeed lucky to have such a rich language at our disposal! I enjoyed your embedded puns! They gave me quite a buzz! Best wishes, Tony
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I'm not even going to try.... you're welcome.
