Losing It
How my good friend found himself losing it29 total reviews
Comment from Stacey Arnold
Great poem! It kind of sounded like a country song, lol. It flowed very smoothly, and I could really imagine someone, hopefully not yourself, going through all of that. I hope you keep writing, because I love reading your poems!
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Great poem! It kind of sounded like a country song, lol. It flowed very smoothly, and I could really imagine someone, hopefully not yourself, going through all of that. I hope you keep writing, because I love reading your poems!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2018
Comment from BeasPeas
A well written poem with good rhyme and flow. It seems like your friend is his own worst enemy. Some people have to go all the way down before they can come up. Marilyn
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A well written poem with good rhyme and flow. It seems like your friend is his own worst enemy. Some people have to go all the way down before they can come up. Marilyn
Comment Written 18-Sep-2018
Comment from Carlie Beth
Wow......this is such a good melancholy poem. So sad, but so true. Makes me want to call my mom and talk to her. You have beautiful writing, please don't stop.
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Wow......this is such a good melancholy poem. So sad, but so true. Makes me want to call my mom and talk to her. You have beautiful writing, please don't stop.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2018
Comment from writerjen
Cleverly written poem about a hard life from not so hard choices. Good rhyming, kept the humor throughout the poem. Might have been nice to include a photo or a cartoon, there are some in the list of photos if you write that in the search.
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Cleverly written poem about a hard life from not so hard choices. Good rhyming, kept the humor throughout the poem. Might have been nice to include a photo or a cartoon, there are some in the list of photos if you write that in the search.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2018
Comment from Lance Polin
Has the feel of a slightly more cheerful country gospel tune circa 1952. One suggestion, since there is a definite twang your use of language: In the last stanza where you say 'and I am left with this sad song,' add a beat--'sad, sad song.' It has a deeper pulse. Great job altogether/
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Has the feel of a slightly more cheerful country gospel tune circa 1952. One suggestion, since there is a definite twang your use of language: In the last stanza where you say 'and I am left with this sad song,' add a beat--'sad, sad song.' It has a deeper pulse. Great job altogether/
Comment Written 17-Sep-2018
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
You covered a few years for this poor man in such a short time. Love the rhyme and the flow and the humor you added to make us chuckle as we read. Ending with...i will try. Nicely done
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You covered a few years for this poor man in such a short time. Love the rhyme and the flow and the humor you added to make us chuckle as we read. Ending with...i will try. Nicely done
Comment Written 09-May-2017
Comment from lyenochka
So very sad. It's kind of the story of Job except it seems the narrator is the one who brought it on himself. It's got good regular meter and rhymes and near rhymes.
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So very sad. It's kind of the story of Job except it seems the narrator is the one who brought it on himself. It's got good regular meter and rhymes and near rhymes.
Comment Written 08-May-2017
Comment from Dean Kuch
Sounds like the majority of country & western songs I hear on the radio these days, Jay.
When my wife left me after 22 years of marriage, she took Ole' Duke, my American Pitt Bull Terrier, dog with her.
You wanna know something?
I sure do miss that dog!
Good rhyming all throughout.
Now, I gotta go cry into my beer...
~Dean
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Sounds like the majority of country & western songs I hear on the radio these days, Jay.
When my wife left me after 22 years of marriage, she took Ole' Duke, my American Pitt Bull Terrier, dog with her.
You wanna know something?
I sure do miss that dog!
Good rhyming all throughout.
Now, I gotta go cry into my beer...
~Dean
Comment Written 08-May-2017
Comment from Justin Chopin
Great job with this piece Jay. Your poem has a very kind of Country kind of feel about it since the man you are speaking about loses every thing that ever mattered to him. The way you described the man as being a kind of a Hugh Hefner Mick Jagger type of womanizer was very funny and added some much needed comedy to this sad story poem. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this . Well done.
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Great job with this piece Jay. Your poem has a very kind of Country kind of feel about it since the man you are speaking about loses every thing that ever mattered to him. The way you described the man as being a kind of a Hugh Hefner Mick Jagger type of womanizer was very funny and added some much needed comedy to this sad story poem. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this . Well done.
Comment Written 08-May-2017
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Into the viagra bottle again I see. Shame on you. A man of your age. Hey, can I borrow one? I'll pay you back next month. It's only the 7th and I'm out.
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Into the viagra bottle again I see. Shame on you. A man of your age. Hey, can I borrow one? I'll pay you back next month. It's only the 7th and I'm out.
Comment Written 07-May-2017
