Sankofa
Go back and get it.83 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good job.
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good job.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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Thank you, c_Lucas, for your review. I am thrilled that you found my imagery good and my scheme descriptive.
Comment from Liberty Justice
Indeed, dear poet. Wonderful tribute to your mother. Nice how you developed appreciation for poetry. Your verses flow well as they tell a story of your mother and her lovely skills. Check mine I out, also, dear. Good luck contest. liberty justice
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Indeed, dear poet. Wonderful tribute to your mother. Nice how you developed appreciation for poetry. Your verses flow well as they tell a story of your mother and her lovely skills. Check mine I out, also, dear. Good luck contest. liberty justice
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Yes, Liberty Justice, this is a wonderful tribute to my mother, and posted on Mother's Day. I will check out your poem. Thank you for your review and for wishing me good luck in the contest.
Comment from sage17611
This is a beautiful "ode" to your mother for all of her grace and strength of surviving turbulent times. I like the way you spoke of the protective ways of the "Sankonfa bird", then integrated parallel similarities of your mother's protective ways into the poem. The story and message in your poem are compelling, and speaks volumes. The poem flows nicely, nice job with this write.
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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This is a beautiful "ode" to your mother for all of her grace and strength of surviving turbulent times. I like the way you spoke of the protective ways of the "Sankonfa bird", then integrated parallel similarities of your mother's protective ways into the poem. The story and message in your poem are compelling, and speaks volumes. The poem flows nicely, nice job with this write.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Thank you, sage17611, for your review of my poem which "speaks volumes." I am glad I posted this ode on my fourth Mother's Day without her. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Pantygynt
I wish I could help to improve this but to be honest I can see nothing to improve it, because one cannot improve upon perfection and that is what I think this is.
You have taken an old folk tale and personalised it in the most musical free verse I think I have ever heard. It has the contrapuntal rhythms of African drum music running through it. I could hear this in my mind as I read the poem out to an audience of me. These rhythms are difficult for a European to describe since none of our Greek metrical terms cover this type of rhythm.
Then there was the imagery you created of your mother dancing in school and the embarrassment you felt. I was teacher, retired now, but I haven't forgotten how cruel kids can be and the need that most kids have to stay in the background.
But it all changes and now you want to stand and dance your voice along your lines and win this coveted trophy, and I see no reason why you should not be able to do that with this piece. I am not going to wish you luck for it needs none, luck is what the others will need to beat you. Come back on the 16th and tell us how it went.
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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I wish I could help to improve this but to be honest I can see nothing to improve it, because one cannot improve upon perfection and that is what I think this is.
You have taken an old folk tale and personalised it in the most musical free verse I think I have ever heard. It has the contrapuntal rhythms of African drum music running through it. I could hear this in my mind as I read the poem out to an audience of me. These rhythms are difficult for a European to describe since none of our Greek metrical terms cover this type of rhythm.
Then there was the imagery you created of your mother dancing in school and the embarrassment you felt. I was teacher, retired now, but I haven't forgotten how cruel kids can be and the need that most kids have to stay in the background.
But it all changes and now you want to stand and dance your voice along your lines and win this coveted trophy, and I see no reason why you should not be able to do that with this piece. I am not going to wish you luck for it needs none, luck is what the others will need to beat you. Come back on the 16th and tell us how it went.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Thank you, Pantygynt, for your generous, six star review. Yes, I took an old folktale and personalized it. I am thrilled it worked.
Those students whistled and whooped at my mother because they thought she was a stripper. I am glad they did not know I was her son. Now I want everyone to know I am her son. Things change. I want to stand and dance my voice along my lines.
Thank you for your review.
Comment from dragonpoet
This well written abcb ode to your mother shows how smart she was. Never forget what the past has taught then you can use it in the future to teach important lessons. It must have been cathartic to read your mother's poems. You might have gotten to know her better through them. She incorporated music, dance, and poetry into a well lived life.
I think it funny that kids are always embarrassed about their parents talents when displayed for all to see.
Kee writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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This well written abcb ode to your mother shows how smart she was. Never forget what the past has taught then you can use it in the future to teach important lessons. It must have been cathartic to read your mother's poems. You might have gotten to know her better through them. She incorporated music, dance, and poetry into a well lived life.
I think it funny that kids are always embarrassed about their parents talents when displayed for all to see.
Kee writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Yes, dragonpoet, it was cathartic for me to read my mother's poem. I know her better through them. "She incorporated music, dance, and poetry into a well lived life." Thank you for your review.
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You're welcome.
dragonpoet
Comment from C.J. 16
This is an excellent poem with great potential for the contest. I enjoy reading about history and different traditions. Very well done. Good luck to you.
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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This is an excellent poem with great potential for the contest. I enjoy reading about history and different traditions. Very well done. Good luck to you.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Yes, C.J. 16, I enjoyed sharing history and different traditions and my mother's and my stories. Thank you for your review.
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You're very welcome.
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Dean Kuch
I feel this is brilliant, Andre, and absolutely no revisions are needed.
I enjoyed learning about the tale of Sankofa as I'd never heard it before, and the way you've managed to weave this folk tale into your own tale about your dear mother, her legacy, and her heritage, is nothing short of genius.
I feel you just might have a shot at one of those prestigious poetry prizes you mentioned this year.
I will certainly keep my fingers crossed for you.
Exceptionally well written free verse, my friend.
Best of luck!
~Dean
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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I feel this is brilliant, Andre, and absolutely no revisions are needed.
I enjoyed learning about the tale of Sankofa as I'd never heard it before, and the way you've managed to weave this folk tale into your own tale about your dear mother, her legacy, and her heritage, is nothing short of genius.
I feel you just might have a shot at one of those prestigious poetry prizes you mentioned this year.
I will certainly keep my fingers crossed for you.
Exceptionally well written free verse, my friend.
Best of luck!
~Dean
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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Thank you, Dean, for your generous review. I did not know where my poem was going until I started writing it. I am glad I wove a folktale into my own tale about my dear mother. I will keep revising my poem to improve its chances. Thank you for wishing me the best of luck.
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Well, just don't overthink it as I often do, Andre. You can tell your heart is in this verse, and there's nothing better, nor can anything improve upon that.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Well written poem that depicts the female persuasion in a very strong light.
Will be interesting, for you, no doubt to see how well it places in this contest.
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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Well written poem that depicts the female persuasion in a very strong light.
Will be interesting, for you, no doubt to see how well it places in this contest.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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Yes, Brett, it will be interesting to see how well this places in the contest this year. If it receives even an honorable mention it would be better than the no mention that my poem received last year. Thank you for your review.
Comment from nomi338
Wonderful poem. I enjoyed it thoroughly. An interesting side note. I recently learn that my paternal grandfather's middle name is Sanko. No one could tell me how he got the name or what it really meant. Thanks to you I believe I now know. According to Ancestry.com I do have some Ghanaian ancestry along with others. I wish you luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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Wonderful poem. I enjoyed it thoroughly. An interesting side note. I recently learn that my paternal grandfather's middle name is Sanko. No one could tell me how he got the name or what it really meant. Thanks to you I believe I now know. According to Ancestry.com I do have some Ghanaian ancestry along with others. I wish you luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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Oh, thank you, for your review and contest well wishes. I am glad my poem helped you with your ancestor's name. I have Ghanaian in me, too.
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You are welcome. We could very well be related. Stranger things have happened.
Comment from foxangie123
I love work that is information packed so I can learn. Today through this I did learn and I commend you on a most valued piece of poetry.
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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I love work that is information packed so I can learn. Today through this I did learn and I commend you on a most valued piece of poetry.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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Thank you for your review. I am glad you found my poem to be "information packed."
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It was awesome..l
