Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Oh, what a sad, sad story. She would have understood. He hurt her AGAIN. He's thinking only of himself. I don't like him much, and she's better off without the jerk.

 Comment Written 07-May-2016

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reply by the author on 09-May-2016

Hi Phyllis, Thanks very much for this great review. I think you are maybe a little bit to harsh on him. His heart is broken. I've decided to continue the story, though. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Good

Hey Ulla, you leave us with more questions than answers... I had a terrible feeling of unhappiness at the end. I did a course with a wonderful writer once in flash fiction. There should be no unnecessary words. Your story should be stripped down to the bones. Can you have a look at paragraph 3 and think about some more showing instead of telling the story. Make us feel as if we were there with you. Just a few gems I've picked up which have enhanced my writing. All the best to you, Giddy

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 Comment Written 07-May-2016

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reply by the author on 07-May-2016

Hi Giddy, thanks for your review and I am of course sorry that you didn't like it. I want to point out that it is not flash fiction and doesn't say so. Paragraph three really is a liitle piece of back story to show and tell what went before. That I leave the piece with more questions than answers is exactly the intention. Well, never mind. Thanks anyway. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from clsandau

Excellent

A very tender, well-written story. You told it so smoothly and the jail scene was certainly a surprise. Lots of emotion in this write. Goes to show, you can get a lot of impact out of very few words. Thanks, Carol

 Comment Written 07-May-2016

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reply by the author on 09-May-2016

Thank you so much Carol for the great review. I'm very pleased that you liked it. All the best. Ulla:)

Comment from infinityyingyang

Excellent

Wow. Right in the feelings. I loved it. This story was short in such a great way. You managed to get the emotion and meaning across perfectly while also matching the intensity of a brief encounter.

 Comment Written 07-May-2016

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reply by the author on 09-May-2016

Thanks a lot for the great review. So glad you liked it. Much appreciated. All the best. Ulla:)

Comment from jusylee72

Excellent

You told two peoples stories and emotions in a very short story. I think that is brilliant. First we understand what she is saying and then we hear what he is thinking. They both just need to talk to each other. Really brilliant description of why some people walk away from their true loves.

 Comment Written 07-May-2016

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reply by the author on 09-May-2016

Hi jusylee, Thank you very much. I'm thrilled that you liked it. I'm glad I managed to convey the emotions you're describing. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

Oh, Ulla, you must write a sequel and let her find out what happened so she can help and they live happily ever after!! I was so wrapped up in the story, and I want to know more, it is so good, my friend. Well done!! :) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 07-May-2016

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reply by the author on 09-May-2016

Hi Sandra, thanks a lot for this great review. I've decided that I will continue the story. Most of my reviewers have asked me to do that. Just like you. I'm thrilled that you liked it. All the best. Ulla xxx

reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 09-May-2016

I'm really pleased you are, Ulla, the story was too good not to continue. I want to know why he was in prison, and why he can't just tell her, he obviously still loved her. Yes, I am looking forward to reading how you continue. :) xxx

Comment from Douglas Paul

Excellent

Ahhh you had me hooked and then it just ended with a lot of questions and no answers. What you have here is well written, but it feels incomplete to me - or maybe I just don't get it LOL

 Comment Written 07-May-2016

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reply by the author on 09-May-2016

Hi there, Thanks a lot for your great review. It is meant to hang in the air as two people lost to each other. But I've been persuaded to continue the story by most of my reviewers, so I think I will. All the best. Ulla:)

Comment from Wabigoon

Exceptional

Ulla--
I think you have a "thing" for these short pieces. The way you "resolve" this is agonizing with Thomas unable or unwilling to tell Sue about prison. Yes, what crime did he commit?

Here are a few "quibbles:"
she almost (fainted when she'd) drowned in(to) the dark pool of his laughing eyes. -- this just seems too wordy, too much, you try to use two images and I think you only need one.

How thin(,) he'd become though. Don't think you need it.

Thomas stopped in his track(), -- usually it's plural. "Thomas stopped in his tracks."

Good job.
Jeff

 Comment Written 07-May-2016

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reply by the author on 08-May-2016

Hi Jeff, thank you so much, and I have made the corrections. You can't imagine how pleased I am with you rating. I'm thrilled. I have decided to take this story further as numerous reviewers have requested that. I'm overwhelmed with the lovely response I've recieved. All the best. Ulla:)))

reply by Wabigoon on 08-May-2016

Good, I think it deserves to be taken further. It's terrible to leave poor?Sue? there without the vaguest notion what the heck's going on. Only other thing I thought post sending you my review was you could probably wait until the very last line when?Thomas? is walking away to reveal the four years in prison. Maybe then he should simply "stop in his tracks," think about what he is doing, turn around and wait for her so he can tell her?

Jeff

reply by the author on 08-May-2016

Jeff, you are jumping the gun, lol. You are thinking down the lines I am. I'm brewing at the moment. I am definitely continuing with this story and your suggestion is spot on. I can't thank you enough for your support. It's great. Ulla:)))

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Serving time in prison doesn't necessarily cancel a happy life. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.

 Comment Written 07-May-2016

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reply by the author on 09-May-2016

Thank you very much. Ulla:)

Comment from foxangie123

Excellent

I have missed your work indeed. It is such a great feeling to have you back as well as to read your wonderful penning. I look up to you.

 Comment Written 07-May-2016

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reply by the author on 09-May-2016

Thanks a lot Angie for your lovely words. All the best. Ulla:)))