A Truly Eternal Love-Sonnet
On the losing of my wife, at an early age57 total reviews
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Jaybird,
What a well-executed and poignant sonnet.
I am very sorry for your loss... no words can adequately express the loss of a loved one, but writing can be incredibly cathartic and soothing...
From a technical point of view, your sonnet flows well, is not maudlin, and paints a a very emotive picture for the reader.
Thank you for sharing...
Always,
diane
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Hello Jaybird,
What a well-executed and poignant sonnet.
I am very sorry for your loss... no words can adequately express the loss of a loved one, but writing can be incredibly cathartic and soothing...
From a technical point of view, your sonnet flows well, is not maudlin, and paints a a very emotive picture for the reader.
Thank you for sharing...
Always,
diane
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
Comment from SLMorrical
This is so sweet. I wrote a short story when my mom passed. It's great therapy. I would assume that is what this was for. I can feel the loss, and heartache. Memories help with the healing and the strength to go on. Very well done. Keep writing.
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This is so sweet. I wrote a short story when my mom passed. It's great therapy. I would assume that is what this was for. I can feel the loss, and heartache. Memories help with the healing and the strength to go on. Very well done. Keep writing.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
Comment from estory
I think its a great sonnet mourning your wife, you really painted this moving portrait of the emotions in this loss. We get a good sense of how much you miss her, both in the subdued tone of the language, and the images, the lonely roads, the flying birds, the shadows. We can really see you standing there looking after her as her spirit flies on into the heavens. estory
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I think its a great sonnet mourning your wife, you really painted this moving portrait of the emotions in this loss. We get a good sense of how much you miss her, both in the subdued tone of the language, and the images, the lonely roads, the flying birds, the shadows. We can really see you standing there looking after her as her spirit flies on into the heavens. estory
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
Comment from Karol Bond
Well done. I am sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine my life without my husband. Funny, love is so powerful that we choose to love even though we know how vulnerable it makes us. Best wishes and God Bless.
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Well done. I am sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine my life without my husband. Funny, love is so powerful that we choose to love even though we know how vulnerable it makes us. Best wishes and God Bless.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
Comment from rama devi
So sorry you lost your wife so young. I am going to be 53 soon and am waiting for biopsy results coming in two days...
This is a poignant sonnet, rich in feeling and finely phrased. Fine meter and rhyme and poetic devices. Good composition style.
However, the punctuation hampers fluid flow. And there are some spacing typos too.
Here are some suggestions:
Since you are gone(,) 'tis winter in my heart(,)
and I must walk this lonely road alone.
Death's final kiss has torn our life apart,
all soul and spirit,(ADD SPACE)hope and joy have flown.
I can't erase those precious moments shared,(;)
when love was young,(ADD SPACE)contentment filled the day.
Our progeny 'twill show the world we cared
and help to keep depressing gloom at bay.
Another dawn, another day to greet,(;)
the past is gone, I cannot linger there;(.)
Though future days may never be as sweet,
fond memories shall ease the load I bear.
I must go on,(ADD SPACE)I shall go on, my dear.
Within my heart(,) you linger, ever near
I'm sure she read this over your shoulder as you wrote it...from her subtle form...
Favorite lines:
Our progeny 'twill show the world we cared
and help to keep depressing gloom at bay.
Warmly,
rd
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So sorry you lost your wife so young. I am going to be 53 soon and am waiting for biopsy results coming in two days...
This is a poignant sonnet, rich in feeling and finely phrased. Fine meter and rhyme and poetic devices. Good composition style.
However, the punctuation hampers fluid flow. And there are some spacing typos too.
Here are some suggestions:
Since you are gone(,) 'tis winter in my heart(,)
and I must walk this lonely road alone.
Death's final kiss has torn our life apart,
all soul and spirit,(ADD SPACE)hope and joy have flown.
I can't erase those precious moments shared,(;)
when love was young,(ADD SPACE)contentment filled the day.
Our progeny 'twill show the world we cared
and help to keep depressing gloom at bay.
Another dawn, another day to greet,(;)
the past is gone, I cannot linger there;(.)
Though future days may never be as sweet,
fond memories shall ease the load I bear.
I must go on,(ADD SPACE)I shall go on, my dear.
Within my heart(,) you linger, ever near
I'm sure she read this over your shoulder as you wrote it...from her subtle form...
Favorite lines:
Our progeny 'twill show the world we cared
and help to keep depressing gloom at bay.
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
Comment from jenintorre
This is such a very sad and poignant poem. You have expressed your feelings so well in this beautifull poem. I am so sorry for your loss. Best wishes Jen.
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This is such a very sad and poignant poem. You have expressed your feelings so well in this beautifull poem. I am so sorry for your loss. Best wishes Jen.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
Comment from LIJ Red
My wife died at 59 of "complications of COPD", and I have no intention of replacing her no matter how badly I need a sitter for her dog...a sonnet I can relate to. Excellent post.
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My wife died at 59 of "complications of COPD", and I have no intention of replacing her no matter how badly I need a sitter for her dog...a sonnet I can relate to. Excellent post.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
Comment from Michele Harber
This is a beautiful and very moving poem, about a love that is deep and eternal. Your love and your longing come through in every line, but so, too, does a bit of optimism, recognizing that you can't live in the past and life will still go on. Your poem flows beautifully, and your rhymes all work well.
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This is a beautiful and very moving poem, about a love that is deep and eternal. Your love and your longing come through in every line, but so, too, does a bit of optimism, recognizing that you can't live in the past and life will still go on. Your poem flows beautifully, and your rhymes all work well.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2018
Comment from Aussie
Thirty-six years is a long time ago. Her love lingers on and sweet memories are in your heart. She is not dead, merely sleeping. When your time draws near, she will come to take you home. Blessings, K.
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Thirty-six years is a long time ago. Her love lingers on and sweet memories are in your heart. She is not dead, merely sleeping. When your time draws near, she will come to take you home. Blessings, K.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2018
Comment from l.raven
HI Jaybird, I lost my husband at 54...there are times I am grateful for the memories...and times it's painful to think back that far...I feel the pain in your words...but know she will always be with you...with the memories that ease nights gone by...very well written Sonnet...love you poem...love Linda xxoo
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HI Jaybird, I lost my husband at 54...there are times I am grateful for the memories...and times it's painful to think back that far...I feel the pain in your words...but know she will always be with you...with the memories that ease nights gone by...very well written Sonnet...love you poem...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 05-Nov-2018
