A Truly Eternal Love-Sonnet
On the losing of my wife, at an early age57 total reviews
Comment from Neonewman
This is a beautiful, well crafted piece you have delivered here my friend. I cannot fathom the depth this kind of loss delivers.
God bless and thank you for sharing.
Steve
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This is a beautiful, well crafted piece you have delivered here my friend. I cannot fathom the depth this kind of loss delivers.
God bless and thank you for sharing.
Steve
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
Comment from RGstar
I am not going to check your long and shorts as they can be a nightmare for arguments, especially with three syllable words and where the stresses should be, so I look at the transitions through and the narrative and aura itself.
I felt there could have been more progression and difference when building from each stanza, and if this is a Shakespearean sonnet, The turn, or Volta, should see a more pounced reaction or deviation from the main.
Having said that.
I see the compassion and aura.
The narrative,in terms of subject matter, touched me, especially as my mother died of the same...in quick time...and I think, whatever form or structure one uses, the work must speak to its reader. This did.
Wishing you luck with it. Good write overall.
My best wishes.
RGstar
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I am not going to check your long and shorts as they can be a nightmare for arguments, especially with three syllable words and where the stresses should be, so I look at the transitions through and the narrative and aura itself.
I felt there could have been more progression and difference when building from each stanza, and if this is a Shakespearean sonnet, The turn, or Volta, should see a more pounced reaction or deviation from the main.
Having said that.
I see the compassion and aura.
The narrative,in terms of subject matter, touched me, especially as my mother died of the same...in quick time...and I think, whatever form or structure one uses, the work must speak to its reader. This did.
Wishing you luck with it. Good write overall.
My best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
Comment from TPAC
I found this a touching read, writer illustrates grief of loved one, views detailing concepts of feelings by memories. Heads up: spacing need to be checked.
Outside that an experience of joined remorse.
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I found this a touching read, writer illustrates grief of loved one, views detailing concepts of feelings by memories. Heads up: spacing need to be checked.
Outside that an experience of joined remorse.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"A Truly Eternal Love -Sonnet", is an exceptionally well-written and heart-wrenching piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. To me, this is a six, but unfortunately I only have fives left.
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"A Truly Eternal Love -Sonnet", is an exceptionally well-written and heart-wrenching piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. To me, this is a six, but unfortunately I only have fives left.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
Comment from Zue65
My deepest sympathy is with the author. Your poem is a celebration of your deep love for your wife and you were able to draw from that emotion to write a beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing this to us. Keep writing.
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My deepest sympathy is with the author. Your poem is a celebration of your deep love for your wife and you were able to draw from that emotion to write a beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing this to us. Keep writing.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
Comment from Dean Kuch
This is not only a very well written Shakespearean sonnet, Jay, it is also a poignant poetic proclamation portraying pure passion, love and respect.
A beautifully written ode to your dearly departed wife.
Well done--may she rest in peace.
~Dean
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This is not only a very well written Shakespearean sonnet, Jay, it is also a poignant poetic proclamation portraying pure passion, love and respect.
A beautifully written ode to your dearly departed wife.
Well done--may she rest in peace.
~Dean
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello jaybird1
I can see why as you said in your profile you like to write sonnets, I can see why, your sonnet about your wife was beautiful, I can see you wrote it straight from your heart.
Gert
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Hello jaybird1
I can see why as you said in your profile you like to write sonnets, I can see why, your sonnet about your wife was beautiful, I can see you wrote it straight from your heart.
Gert
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
Comment from royowen
The death of your dear wife in 1982 would have tested your faith a lot, I am fortunate to still have mine with me, eweve seen and been through 46 marvellous years, and I can truly empathise with you, as we have grands and children, they're better as a shared thing, as our travels have been. Beautifully and succinctly written, smooth, we'll crafted and rhymed, well done, blessings, Roy
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The death of your dear wife in 1982 would have tested your faith a lot, I am fortunate to still have mine with me, eweve seen and been through 46 marvellous years, and I can truly empathise with you, as we have grands and children, they're better as a shared thing, as our travels have been. Beautifully and succinctly written, smooth, we'll crafted and rhymed, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
Comment from Ulla
I'm sorry for your loss. I know it's so many years ago and it was such an untimely death. I'm sorry. You've written such a lovely poem to her and in her memory. I loved it. All the best. Ulla:)))
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I'm sorry for your loss. I know it's so many years ago and it was such an untimely death. I'm sorry. You've written such a lovely poem to her and in her memory. I loved it. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
Comment from Sally Law
Jay, a beautiful poem and tribute to your wife! Sugar sweet! I see your age and admire your sharp mind, talent and memory. Thank you for sharing this precious verse with us here on FanStory!
All my best,
Sally
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Jay, a beautiful poem and tribute to your wife! Sugar sweet! I see your age and admire your sharp mind, talent and memory. Thank you for sharing this precious verse with us here on FanStory!
All my best,
Sally
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
