Reviews from

Astatula (Final Edition)

Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Frightmares - Part 3: Cody's Future"
A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?

5 total reviews 
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am a tad confused whether Brock and the guardian are the same person. Other than that, suspect that the allusion to another boys story will lead to a deeper understanding of what hasn't been fully explained. The question of the father's death, the other boy, and the story of Brock and Beth up to this point Are becoming items of interest.

 Comment Written 07-May-2016


reply by the author on 07-May-2016
    Sheriff Brock Daniels is Cody's guardian.

    The other boy, Matt Cochran is Cody's best, and inseparable, friend.

    Glad you are enjoying this story.
Comment from Ricky1024
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This Read was well written about a little boy(Cody) in need.
Adjective Content- ******
Objective Content- ******
Grammar- ******
Pronounciations- *****
Theme and Imagery- ******
Complete. Synopsis-******
Thanks for this Brett.
Ricky 1024.

 Comment Written 07-May-2016


reply by the author on 07-May-2016
    Glad you are enjoyed this little story so much. Stay tuned. Much more to come.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh wow. Never saw that coming but the idea is great. I like the idea that both were thinking of his well being and wanting to do the best for him. Even though I suspect hard times are coming

 Comment Written 07-May-2016


reply by the author on 07-May-2016
    Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Much more to come. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


The story has great promise, and it's good for what I read, which, I think, was one chapter of it before.
You might accentuate a bit more of their feelings, like how Cody is feeling about feeling betrayed, not just by this family, but his other.
How are the parents feeling? Conversation is great, make us feel it deeper.

Spag:
-his guardian instructed Cody to do-might read better as, "his guardian said."
I get caught on this all the time. Don't add much besides, "said" or it distracts.

With Beth Sorenson standing right by his side(,) come what may--needs a comma

Doing great,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 07-May-2016


reply by the author on 07-May-2016
    Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story, and appreciate the catches.
Comment from candyfink
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This story went straight to my heart. The artwork added to that. You are a brilliant writer. Thank you for sharing your talent.

 Comment Written 07-May-2016


reply by the author on 07-May-2016
    Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.