The Song Thrush
A Ballad68 total reviews
Comment from Caressa_08
You are a very well educated poet, and your use of words, of many types is over the top... And this tale of a bird was quite believable, as guess we all here or me, like happy endings.. and the author notes prove it to be from your imagination, though would say it is as good as any legend and maybe you have something here that even so is a tale for us all to enjoy with creative play of words that all come together so nicely,,, seemingly meant to be about a birdie who deserved such a reward, after all, she's been through a lot!
I enjoyed reading this ballad and such a wondrous story, and fabulous entry,..Caressa_08
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
  |
You are a very well educated poet, and your use of words, of many types is over the top... And this tale of a bird was quite believable, as guess we all here or me, like happy endings.. and the author notes prove it to be from your imagination, though would say it is as good as any legend and maybe you have something here that even so is a tale for us all to enjoy with creative play of words that all come together so nicely,,, seemingly meant to be about a birdie who deserved such a reward, after all, she's been through a lot!
I enjoyed reading this ballad and such a wondrous story, and fabulous entry,..Caressa_08
Comment Written 03-May-2016
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
-
Very many thanks for your kind review, Caressa. So glad you enjoyed this piece of invented folklore! Tony
Comment from royowen
Firstly, thanks for the comprehensive notes Tony, one wouldn't know if it was fiction or legend if you hadn't had the knowledge or done the research, beautifully composed and with eloquent wording and a pursuasive and convincing narrative, the progressive story was well written and composed, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
|
Firstly, thanks for the comprehensive notes Tony, one wouldn't know if it was fiction or legend if you hadn't had the knowledge or done the research, beautifully composed and with eloquent wording and a pursuasive and convincing narrative, the progressive story was well written and composed, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 03-May-2016
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
-
Very many thanks for your kind review, Roy. So glad you enjoyed this piece of invented folklore! Tony
-
Most welcome
Comment from tony bronk
A real delightful, charming, tale poem that you told here. I enjoyed reading it very much, and it was time well spent. Tony Bronk self-righteous poet
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
|
A real delightful, charming, tale poem that you told here. I enjoyed reading it very much, and it was time well spent. Tony Bronk self-righteous poet
Comment Written 03-May-2016
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
-
Very many thanks for your kind review, Tony. So glad you enjoyed this piece of invented folklore! Tony
Comment from michaelcahill
I must say, no one really comes close to your command of language. This is just amazing to read. It's flawless and it's complex, but it's such an easy read at the same time AND the meaning is clear even as I read words that aren't immediately familiar. The context is clear and it doesn't stop my understanding ever. Very interesting notes. I always learn something too when I encounter your work. Hard to beat. Super work. mikey
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
|
I must say, no one really comes close to your command of language. This is just amazing to read. It's flawless and it's complex, but it's such an easy read at the same time AND the meaning is clear even as I read words that aren't immediately familiar. The context is clear and it doesn't stop my understanding ever. Very interesting notes. I always learn something too when I encounter your work. Hard to beat. Super work. mikey
Comment Written 03-May-2016
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
-
Very many thanks for your kind review, Mikey. So glad you enjoyed this fantasy! I was a bit uncertain about putting my work up in comparison with the long-established and spell-binding folkore of Ireland. Tony
Comment from krys123
Hello Tony;
-I really truly enjoyed your ballad not only thought that it was written well but the imagery was very distinct and clear and definitively expressive and vividly and demonstratively descriptive throughout the writing.
This ballad being a sad romantic one where one dies and the other one lives that go on like a Phoenix: "Where she became a marvis bird, a song thrush, Philomel."
As the other lover searched for her lover, then dies in a stagnant pool: "In frantic search each slipped and fell into a stagnant pool, and sank beneath the drowned moonlight; a ghoulish death and cruel." Here Tony the word cool has two syllables in the English language and that would make your blind seven syllable? Even though it is pronounced one syllable. This is noted in dictionary.com.....
-all of your writing words with contingent and supportive to the meaning and concept the reach of all of your lines therefore making your rhythm to flow smoothly.
-None of your rhyming words were forced or labored which was also helpful in the rhythmic flow.
-Your rhythmic meter was written in a trochee format of iambic tetrameter followed by iambic trimeter and the cadence, timing and tempo while helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and very easy.
-The picture was very appropriate, relative and supportive to the conceptual theme of your writing.
-Thank you so much for sharing and posting this Tony and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
|
Hello Tony;
-I really truly enjoyed your ballad not only thought that it was written well but the imagery was very distinct and clear and definitively expressive and vividly and demonstratively descriptive throughout the writing.
This ballad being a sad romantic one where one dies and the other one lives that go on like a Phoenix: "Where she became a marvis bird, a song thrush, Philomel."
As the other lover searched for her lover, then dies in a stagnant pool: "In frantic search each slipped and fell into a stagnant pool, and sank beneath the drowned moonlight; a ghoulish death and cruel." Here Tony the word cool has two syllables in the English language and that would make your blind seven syllable? Even though it is pronounced one syllable. This is noted in dictionary.com.....
-all of your writing words with contingent and supportive to the meaning and concept the reach of all of your lines therefore making your rhythm to flow smoothly.
-None of your rhyming words were forced or labored which was also helpful in the rhythmic flow.
-Your rhythmic meter was written in a trochee format of iambic tetrameter followed by iambic trimeter and the cadence, timing and tempo while helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and very easy.
-The picture was very appropriate, relative and supportive to the conceptual theme of your writing.
-Thank you so much for sharing and posting this Tony and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
Comment Written 03-May-2016
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
-
Very many thanks for your kind review, Alex. So glad you enjoyed this piece of invented folklore! Tony
-
You are very welcome Tony
Alex
Comment from Louise Michelle
Good for you, Tony. This is very creative - your fertile imagination shines.
Ballads are always enjoyable to read and this was no exception. Meticulous meter and well chosen rhymes throughout. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
|
Good for you, Tony. This is very creative - your fertile imagination shines.
Ballads are always enjoyable to read and this was no exception. Meticulous meter and well chosen rhymes throughout. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 03-May-2016
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
-
Very many thanks for your kind review, Lou. So glad you enjoyed this piece of invented folklore! Tony
Comment from MacMhuirich
Tony, what a delightful and atmospheric poem. Full of interesting words, imagery and mystery. Achill is a sad place, I've been researching the island for years. I wrote a poem called 'The Tattie Howkers' about a tragedy that befell the island. I love the presentation and the notes. Best wishes for the contest.
Bless you
John
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
 |
Tony, what a delightful and atmospheric poem. Full of interesting words, imagery and mystery. Achill is a sad place, I've been researching the island for years. I wrote a poem called 'The Tattie Howkers' about a tragedy that befell the island. I love the presentation and the notes. Best wishes for the contest.
Bless you
John
Comment Written 03-May-2016
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
-
Very many thanks for your very kind review, John, and for the six stars. So glad you enjoyed this fantasy! I was a bit uncertain about putting my work up in comparison with the long-established and spell-binding Celtic folkore. I read quite a bit about the tragic history of Achill and its inhabitants when doing my research for this and must go back and re-read your Tattie Howkers poem now that I know a bit more about the background.Tony
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I always love to read the authors notes first and in this case, I am glad I did. It made the piece mean more and I understood.
What a story of false truths and betrayal and yet of the exhaulting of memory.
Wow, It flowed so very good and the rhyme was spot on.
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
|
I always love to read the authors notes first and in this case, I am glad I did. It made the piece mean more and I understood.
What a story of false truths and betrayal and yet of the exhaulting of memory.
Wow, It flowed so very good and the rhyme was spot on.
Comment Written 03-May-2016
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
-
Very many thanks for your kind review, Barb. So glad you enjoyed this piece of invented folklore! Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
You have caught the style well here. It freally wasn't her day was it I mean being stood up is one thing but drowning in a peat bog is a bit - well - messy really. And it does come upon us a bit suddenly. i was going to say out of the blue but perhaps out of the forty shades of green might be more appropriate.
reply by the author on 04-May-2016
|
You have caught the style well here. It freally wasn't her day was it I mean being stood up is one thing but drowning in a peat bog is a bit - well - messy really. And it does come upon us a bit suddenly. i was going to say out of the blue but perhaps out of the forty shades of green might be more appropriate.
Comment Written 03-May-2016
reply by the author on 04-May-2016
-
Thanks, Jim. I was on marshy ground myself with this one, there being so many of Irish descent on this site! I feared that I would be drowned in criticism for daring to interfere with their folklore!
Comment from LIJ Red
Inventive. Annotated. Impressive. Sent me gallivanting down odd paths. Philomela, raped and detongued and transformed into a (songless female) nightinggale. Good story, like Hardy's gaunt (darkling) thrush whooping it up in the frost...excellent work
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
|
Inventive. Annotated. Impressive. Sent me gallivanting down odd paths. Philomela, raped and detongued and transformed into a (songless female) nightinggale. Good story, like Hardy's gaunt (darkling) thrush whooping it up in the frost...excellent work
Comment Written 03-May-2016
reply by the author on 03-May-2016
-
Very many thanks for your kind review, LIJ. So glad you enjoyed this piece of invented folklore! Tony
