Of Poets and Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Spring Revealed"NaPoWriMo 2016 Challenge (30 Poems in April)
18 total reviews
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Another wonderful poem and an interesting biography. I like that you include a poem of the poet along with it. Well done, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Another wonderful poem and an interesting biography. I like that you include a poem of the poet along with it. Well done, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Thanks, Debbie :) That is all part of my exploration and wanting to share the different poets with everyone :) I appreciate you taking the time to read and review.
Kim
Comment from Liberty Justice
Songbirds singing. Beautiful moments in spring as growth appears. Joyful tone character getting married birds will sing at wedding. liberty justice
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016
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Songbirds singing. Beautiful moments in spring as growth appears. Joyful tone character getting married birds will sing at wedding. liberty justice
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016
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Hi Liberty Justice!
I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Thank you for noting the selections that spoke to you from this poem. Your kind comments are a joy to read.
Have a great day!
Kim
Comment from I am Cat
I've said before, each of these is definitely worth a six, but hey... such is the beast around here.... loved these lines, particularly. ;)
to linger 'tween the sheets is my delight,
the Sandman sprinkled dust in sweet repose,
it's time for me to bid adieu to night,
rhythm's tingling my toes.
The words to sing lie dormant in my brain,
I want to join in silent harmony --
to rise up from my bed is such a strain,
still Silence teases me --
sounds lovely...
well done, Kim!
Cat
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016
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I've said before, each of these is definitely worth a six, but hey... such is the beast around here.... loved these lines, particularly. ;)
to linger 'tween the sheets is my delight,
the Sandman sprinkled dust in sweet repose,
it's time for me to bid adieu to night,
rhythm's tingling my toes.
The words to sing lie dormant in my brain,
I want to join in silent harmony --
to rise up from my bed is such a strain,
still Silence teases me --
sounds lovely...
well done, Kim!
Cat
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016
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Hi Cat!
The beautiful sunrise talked me out of my bed to get up and write those lines. :) I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. It is wonderful what inspiration can come just from sunshine in the window. I think winter is done... shhhhhh... I won't say that too loud though, he might hear me! lol
Have a great day!
*hugs*
Kim
Comment from BeasPeas
This is really a beautifully written poem, presented well. Words flow well with creative imagery. Many good lines. I tried to find favorites, but couldn't decide. There is a tranquil and confident feel to your poem. Very nice indeed. Marilyn
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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This is really a beautifully written poem, presented well. Words flow well with creative imagery. Many good lines. I tried to find favorites, but couldn't decide. There is a tranquil and confident feel to your poem. Very nice indeed. Marilyn
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Hi Marilyn!
I actually love that you couldn't decide on a favorite line. When I read, it is always a good feeling to like so much of the poem that it is hard to decide. I feel that is a grand compliment.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review.
Kim
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your poem. CRossetti was a good choice to include something on her format in your book of poems. The author notes were great and informative. I like how your words flow well and tell a great story. Good use of many cases of alliteration done well. The picture is awesome. I like CR poem, "Who Has Seen The Wind". Your format, quatrains, worked well for your smooth flowing words. Good job and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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I enjoyed your poem. CRossetti was a good choice to include something on her format in your book of poems. The author notes were great and informative. I like how your words flow well and tell a great story. Good use of many cases of alliteration done well. The picture is awesome. I like CR poem, "Who Has Seen The Wind". Your format, quatrains, worked well for your smooth flowing words. Good job and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Hi Jan!
Thank you for your wonderful comments. I will have to look up the Christina Rossetti poem you recommend, it may be in the Goblin Market and Other Poems I own by her. I appreciate you taking the time to read and lend your thoughts.
Kim
Comment from w.j.debi
Thank you for introducing me to a great poet with your poetry. She sounds like an interesting lady.
Your poem is thoughtful and easy to follow. I love the silence myself. I often wonder why people want to have noise all the time. I even talked to someone at work the other day who says she plays white noise all night so she can sleep. What happened to silence? It leaves a space for thoughts and those tiny sounds you would miss otherwise.
Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Thank you for introducing me to a great poet with your poetry. She sounds like an interesting lady.
Your poem is thoughtful and easy to follow. I love the silence myself. I often wonder why people want to have noise all the time. I even talked to someone at work the other day who says she plays white noise all night so she can sleep. What happened to silence? It leaves a space for thoughts and those tiny sounds you would miss otherwise.
Well done.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Hi W.J.
Your friend at work sounds like my husband... turn the tv off and he wakes up! The constant noise just buzzes in my head. So much better to just have the soothing silence to enjoy. :) Thank you for the lovely comments and for taking time to read/review.
Kim
Comment from mountainwriter49
Good Morning, Kim,
I did so enjoy this beautiful poem this morning. The poem's spirit comes through beautifully, blending that of human love and one's love of nature. From reading your author's notes, I'd say you achieved your goal of sharing Christina's persona.
The quatrains are well developed, smooth flowing when read aloud and are complimented with a strong end rhyme pattern of abab. I liked the 10/10/10/6 pattern. This breaks up the quatrains to create both visual appeal as well as brining lines to a natural conclusion.
My favorite lines are found in the last stanza. You should know when you mention mountain streams you're going to capture my heart. :)
Songbirds will come in chorus just to sing,
our wedding will be held by mountain stream,
I rise wearing a smile, betrothed to Spring,
truth revealed in a dream.
Thanks also for the author notes. I found them most helpful and interesting.
-Ray
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Good Morning, Kim,
I did so enjoy this beautiful poem this morning. The poem's spirit comes through beautifully, blending that of human love and one's love of nature. From reading your author's notes, I'd say you achieved your goal of sharing Christina's persona.
The quatrains are well developed, smooth flowing when read aloud and are complimented with a strong end rhyme pattern of abab. I liked the 10/10/10/6 pattern. This breaks up the quatrains to create both visual appeal as well as brining lines to a natural conclusion.
My favorite lines are found in the last stanza. You should know when you mention mountain streams you're going to capture my heart. :)
Songbirds will come in chorus just to sing,
our wedding will be held by mountain stream,
I rise wearing a smile, betrothed to Spring,
truth revealed in a dream.
Thanks also for the author notes. I found them most helpful and interesting.
-Ray
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Hi Ray,
Thank you for the smiles this morning. I am so pleased that you enjoyed my quatrain poem in tribute to Christina Rossetti. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and comment and am doubly appreciative of the exceptional in depth review. Thank you for the shiny stars, Ray. :)
Kim
Comment from robyn corum
Kim,
I just love the idea of sharing more about the great poets and their work. I know I've missed some and will have to go back and read! RATS!
Here's what I enjoyed:
1.) "Silence is more musical than any song." - Christina Rossetti (1830 -- 1894)
--> what a great, thought-provoking quote!
2.) Some favorite lines:
Sun's peeking in, I'm torn --
it's time for me to bid adieu to night,
The words to sing lie dormant in my brain,
to rise up from my bed is such a strain,
Spring timely sneaks to steal a morning kiss,
Songbirds will come in chorus just to sing,
our wedding will be held by mountain stream,
I rise wearing a smile, betrothed to Spring,
3.) Loved the imagery of the push-pull relationship between the bed and the day~! Fun!
4.) And the metaphor of marrying Spring. What a delicious suitor! *smile*
I enjoyed!
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Kim,
I just love the idea of sharing more about the great poets and their work. I know I've missed some and will have to go back and read! RATS!
Here's what I enjoyed:
1.) "Silence is more musical than any song." - Christina Rossetti (1830 -- 1894)
--> what a great, thought-provoking quote!
2.) Some favorite lines:
Sun's peeking in, I'm torn --
it's time for me to bid adieu to night,
The words to sing lie dormant in my brain,
to rise up from my bed is such a strain,
Spring timely sneaks to steal a morning kiss,
Songbirds will come in chorus just to sing,
our wedding will be held by mountain stream,
I rise wearing a smile, betrothed to Spring,
3.) Loved the imagery of the push-pull relationship between the bed and the day~! Fun!
4.) And the metaphor of marrying Spring. What a delicious suitor! *smile*
I enjoyed!
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Hi Robyn!
Thank you for listing all the lines and elements you enjoyed in this poem. :) I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. I've been having fun with this project!
Have a great day!
Kim
Comment from Leineco
And so from silence she withdrew
and choose instead the song of Spring;
threw off the cloak quiet's hue
and wore a cape of bloom and sing.
He wooed her with his raucous air!
They'll wed beside a mountain stream -
she'll plait white daisies in her hair
and march 'neath sunlight's dancing beams
The music she once loved in silent hush
replaced by warbled chorus of the thrush.
I loved your happy ending counter to her Apple Gathering :-)
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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And so from silence she withdrew
and choose instead the song of Spring;
threw off the cloak quiet's hue
and wore a cape of bloom and sing.
He wooed her with his raucous air!
They'll wed beside a mountain stream -
she'll plait white daisies in her hair
and march 'neath sunlight's dancing beams
The music she once loved in silent hush
replaced by warbled chorus of the thrush.
I loved your happy ending counter to her Apple Gathering :-)
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Hi Leineco!
What a beautiful response! :) Thank you for this wonderful review! I'm so happy you enjoyed the poem!
Kim
Comment from Pantygynt
My favourite stanzas here are those closest to mono-rhyme, namely S1 and S4. In the final line of the whole thing the meter of the poem cuts acros the natural meter of the words. This could be rectified so easily simply by altering the word order in the line.
"Truth in a dream revealed" would say exactly the same thing in a more metrical manner. Always remember, meter is mor than a syllable count.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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My favourite stanzas here are those closest to mono-rhyme, namely S1 and S4. In the final line of the whole thing the meter of the poem cuts acros the natural meter of the words. This could be rectified so easily simply by altering the word order in the line.
"Truth in a dream revealed" would say exactly the same thing in a more metrical manner. Always remember, meter is mor than a syllable count.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Hi Pantygynt,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I do understand that meter is more than a syllable count. So my question is...
"Truth in a dream revealed" would say exactly the same thing in a more metrical manner
Songbirds will come in chorus just to sing,
our wedding will be held by mountain stream,
I rise wearing a smile, betrothed to Spring,
truth revealed in a dream.
You would sacrifice the rhyme for the sake of meter?
Thanks for all of your input.
Kim
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The trick is to serve both masters. Christina manages it al through. Looking again at the whole of my review I think my final comment was a touch simplistic and my suggestion, as you pointed out, sacrificed one element for the sake of the other. No, what you have to do is to get the stress onto that second syllable or go for broke with a metrical substitution and make the whole line trochaic by losing those somewhat fussy syllables "in a". Either "revealed truth in a dream" which maintains the iambic and the rhyme but loses the stress on "truth". Ot the trochaic substitution, "Truth revealed in dream." The third option would be to rethink the whole line. If it were my poem I'd go for the really powerful trochaic substitution.
