Comment from Slythytove2

Good

A heart warming story albeit sad sort of but of universal appeal. The format you've selected of free verse is the right one and a good decision but it would work as a poem if you could eliminate some of the extra words which add nothing. Example:
"He showed him how to use it". is straight prose.( He taught him its use) would say the same thing but be of a more poetic nature. With a rewrite this could become a great story poem. Get rid of as many words as possible that make it good prose but are not core related.
Nice story.


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 Comment Written 08-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016

thank you, Valid and interesting point. When I put this up a s prose people tell me it is a poem, But poets tell me it is prose. I think you are the first one to explain to me what may be the difference. Very interesting.

reply by Slythytove2 on 08-Apr-2016

You're very welcome

Comment from frogbook

Exceptional

Ah...I want for a seven. This, for me was above the 6 level. This is just the kind of poem I like...a story clearly and well told but with a message that resonates and a tale that will follow me throughout the day and return at times for me to ponder. Out of all the forgettable items one reads this is the one to remember. A true gem.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016

Thank you so much. I truly had a wonderful time let my mind go on this one. Thank you for reading it.

Comment from F. Wehr3

Excellent

Nice work on this poem. I thought it was emotional experience. I absolutely loved this line.

"Here unlocks the world,
word by word,
dream by dream.
Sail into the worlds you never knew.
I will be with you."

Take care,
Russell

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016

Thank you so much. These picture challenges are a blessing. It truly makes me happy.

Comment from Rubylou

Exceptional

Great story in free verse form. Wonderful lessons to be learned as well.
I like the use of, "Uppity," in reference to 'Old Jim.'

Wonderful metaphor in sailing to understand words and grow.
Rubylou

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016

Thank you so much. I love these picture challenges. They help me grow.

Comment from honeytree

Excellent

really loved the art work
what great words for this poem
With the help from his Father
and his interest to learn
was a great outcome for this lad.

Honey tree

I have no six left

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016

Thank you so much. I am learning so much on this site.

Comment from rjuselius

Exceptional

this is a brilliant entry for this particular writing prompt dear anonymous! the story is compelling and engaging! i was going to enter this contest but now i am not sure i have the capacity to do so. exceptional my friend!
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings!
rebekka x

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016

Thank you so much, Please enter. I was shocked at what came at me with this picture. Your picture may do the same for you.

Comment from lightink

Excellent

This poem makes me both sad and happy at the same time! I tells a lovely story, addressing racial and class issues - while also portraying the power of literature and education! I loved how you showed the adventure in trying to acquire knowledge:
"He just became a sailor in search of knowledge".
Wonderful writing!

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016

Thank you so much, These challenges are so fun to work with and new things happen when you take them. That's why I love Fan story.

Comment from Rookette

Excellent

This is a lovely story. It gave me chills from beginning to end. I loved that the boy went to law school and that he read the book to his son as well. Such a deep and powerful story. Beautifully articulated! xoLeslie

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016

Thank you so much. I had such a wonderful time writing this story. The picture took me somewhere I had never been. What a great challenge and I love fan story.

Comment from ~Dovey

Exceptional

Hi Poet!

This is just, "WOW"! I love the picture you were given for the challenge. Your woven tale of the boy and "Old Jimmy" in free verse was inspiring, especially as his love of reading led into the next generation and he began to read Moby Dick with his own son. This one is a six all the way!

Good luck in the contest!!

Kim

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016

Thank you so much. I loved this challenge. It brought me ideas I didn't know I had. Fan Story is helping me so much .

Comment from sukey

Excellent

That gave me chills!

Besides being a beautiful story, it is also prose/poetry.
It is liquid, alive, full, yet brief.

And the story itself has so much more to it than beauty.
It has wisdom of the ages in every line.

Please continue!!!!

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016

Thank you so much. I am having the time of my life on fan story. I have received more help and understanding than I have ever had in my life.