Comment from nancyrabbrose

Excellent

You have written a beautifully sensitive poem. The love and longing translates well through the words. Your pen weaves well the feelings spent. I do not understand the illustration you picked, but that is OK. I am sure you are right.
This is a great poem. Keep up the good work.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks, Nancy. I appreciate yet another gracious review. I picked the picture because being in 'crazy' love can make you feel like your feet are not quite in this world.

:) Bev

Comment from Dustybones

Excellent

Some poetry is hard for me to understand. I like the individual verses and a few of them tie together. My favorite is the one about blind devotion.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

I appreciate your very kind review, D. Translating feelings to the page can be a little like a smile that hides fear.

:) Bev

Comment from Wabigoon

Exceptional

Writing--
I like some things in this poem. I have to admit I like its abstruseness. I don't even faintly get the connection between the apocalyptic picture and your poem. I want you to say that what ever this relationship it is center enough to hold to keep this rough beast from being born. It's apparently not, still you want it, something, is more or less what I get from the poem.

I like lines like this: "I can let our promise
Haunt my demented dreams -- "

Nice.

Thanks
Jeff

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Jeff, I really like what you say and how close to the truth it is here: 'whatever this relationship it is center enough to hold...'
I appreciate that you got so close to my meaning.

Thanks for the generous and encouraging review. You always challenge me and I like that.

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

This sounds like someone hoping against hope that things will work out. It's like she keeps waiting for the phone call that never comes. Beautifully expressed. In her heart, she wants to believe the promises that have been made. She can interpret things the way she wants to, but that doesn't guarantee the outcome she hopes for. Great lines "I can indulge the notion/an underprivileged heart/stokes blind devotion/in a world fraught with schoolyard bullies." Neediness will not serve the narrator given the heartlessness of society. Very powerful work. judi

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Judi, thank you so much. This is the kind of relationship that bears so much of our essence and, as you say, never comes to fruition. I appreciate that you got that meaning, and the wonderful encouragement of your words.

:) Bev

Comment from misscookie

Excellent

You captured my attention from the start
This is what I call a food for thought poem... meaning after you read it you go mm.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Cookie. I'm glad it struck a chord with you.

:) Bev

reply by misscookie on 03-Apr-2016

Thank you very much, have a blessed Sunday.
Cookie

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Excellent

This is really out of this world, Bev. But I will do my best to review it. these words...
And desire
Is a meager master
Unaware of the watch
Winding down
are really inspired, prophetic I feel. Your muse is feeling extremely insightful, as well as philosophical about past sadness, Giddy

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

You are right on track, Giddy. That's why I chose the artwork. It did feel I was out of this world for a while back then. Thanks for highlighting the stanza you liked, and for your super review.

Hugs, Bev

Comment from ~Dovey

Excellent

Hi Writing :)

I love the artwork and presentation of this piece. It really captured my attention and screamed, "Must read!" to me. I especially enjoyed the following image:

And desire

Is a meager master

Unaware of the watch

Winding down

It really reinforces the fact that time stops for no one regardless of the circumstances.

Nice work.

Kim

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Hi, Kim

I really appreciate that you got the gist of my poem to a tee! And I always enjoy seeing what part of the poem resonates with others.

Thanks for the very gracious review, and the spirit of support behind the words.

:) Bev

Comment from Kaydoe

Excellent

Wow! This is a very complex poem and I am rather new at this, especially at this level. I hope to get the gist of it, but if I don't, it reads beautifully. He is able to take her from a bad place to a good place and his heart can shut out any justification for doing so. 2nd stanza; He can almost magically talk things in such away that makes you believe it. 3rd stanza; He made a promise but will never fulfill it even though it may haunt him. 4th stanza; He thinks you will follow him no matter what because you are unsophisticated. 5th stanza; he desires you unaware, that time is running out. 6th stanza. You are still under his influence and passion drives this story.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Wow, those are amazing insights, Kaydoe. I'm not sure what you meant when you said you are 'new' to this, but I think you did great.

I really appreciate you taking time to read my poem and your generous review of it. Thanks very much!

:) Bev

reply by Kaydoe on 03-Apr-2016

I started at FanStory this January and have written some poetry. I have learned a lot since I have started and sometimes when poems are complex with a lot of various use of vocabulary it takes me awhile to understand. I use my dictionary a lot on my computer. I am 65 and retired and have been out of school for a very long time. That is why I said I am new to this.
I am amazed there are so many types of poetry and have tried the 5-7-5. Usually I just rhyme but hope to try some other
forms. Have a great day!

reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

Welcome to FanStory, Kaydoe. Great to have you as part of the family.

When I joined the site five years ago, there were quite a few poetry classes offered, and I took advantage of them. Like you, I was new to writing and posting, so it was a bit overwhelming. One thing I have learned is that to do any kind of writing well, it pays to read books on how to do it better. If you are interested in a really excellent one for writing poetry, consider getting The Ode Less Traveled by Stephen Fry. It's worth the price and is available on Amazon as both soft cover and, possibly, e-book.

Have a good week!

Bev

reply by Kaydoe on 03-Apr-2016

Thank you!

reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

:))

Comment from royowen

Excellent

The thing I love about writing is, I can communicate a myriad of things, and yet retain my dignity without losing a sense of spirituality. As you've shared some thoughts with us here Bev, you've done extremely well with the consciousness of allowing us into the emotional connected to thought, which is everybody's engine room really. Well done, smoothly written, and articulate and very interesting depths to your writing. I like the neat style and the feather like p, articulation of the work, well done,blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Roy, this is such a wonderful review. You are both wise and gracious, and I very much appreciate that.

What a great thought that by allowing others into our emotions we are allowing them into our'engine room'. I totally agree.

Have a wonderful weekend,

Bev

reply by royowen on 03-Apr-2016

You too Bev

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

This is a very interesting poem. I really enjoyed reading reading. The flow is excellent. I tried to find my favorite stanza but couldn't they were all good.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Hi, Barbara

Thank you very much for, yet another, gracious review. I really appreciate you taking time out to read my forays into poetry. Means a lot to me.

:) Bev