Comment from terry drake

Good

I see your work has received well deserved praise. I found the meaning in your words provoke deep thought and you should continue your quest.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

Thanks for your review!

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

This is a really lovely free style very well written. A very descriptive piece - a love story and I particularly like -

And desire
Is a meager master
Unaware of the watch
Winding down

Having said that, the whole poem is a very good read. Warm regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

Dorothy, thank you very much for your very generous review. I appreciate you mentioning that stanza, as it was one of my later additions to the original poem.

Have a wonderful week!

:) Bev

Comment from Adri7enne

Exceptional

Feels like wanting to romanticize an unrealized relationship. We tell ourselves stories of how it wasn't so bad. And we convince ourselves to believe them.

Nice free verse, Bev. It's showing and a whole other side to you. Very interesting and revealing poetry. I really like it. Loved the last two lines. Well done, girl.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

You've got it nailed, Adrienne. Though the decades have passed, there's always that one 'failure' that continues to haunt. It is exactly as you say: 'we tell stories... convince ourselves to believe them.' So well said.

I really appreciate your generosity and encouragement. Your support means a lot to me.

:) Bev

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

I can't and don't write poetry. I have pleasure reading professional work such as your in "And We All Fall Down".

The flow allowed the reader to feel and understand each word and phrase in their own interpretation.

Nicely composed. John

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

John, I appreciate, yet another, gracious and encouraging review. Thank you!

Comment from Ekim777

Excellent

Your opening verse is very fine. It reminds me of Dante; "The mind is its own place. We can make a hell out of heaven and a heaven out of hell." We find some good, clear images. For example; the desire is a meager master..." but your poem quickly becomes weighed down with abstracts, abstractions and platitudes which muddies the imagery. Poetry demands perfection. Prize out the generalizations. -Ekim777

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

Thank you for your review.

Comment from Pantygynt

Exceptional

This is one of those poems I liken to a hot bath tub. You can immerse yourself in the gorgeously warm water and let the feeling of liquid comfort overwhelm you but when you go grabbing for the soap it is elusive beneath the suds. It pos up here and there in expressions such as

"shuttered justification"

and

"An underprivileged heart
Stokes blind devotion
In a world fraught with schoolyard bullies"

but you never quite get to grip it.

But who cares. The water's lovely.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

Hi, Pantygynt

Thank you for this thoughtful review. I find your insights quite fascinating, to say the least.

Your generosity and encouragement are very much appreciated.

:) Bev

Comment from JanPerry

Excellent

I found it extremely abstract with a few classy lines. Very in depth and interesting thoughts. The line stands out "In a world fraught with schoolyard bullies" but its longer than the rest of the stanza.
Just now, just you, seems inappropriate with the rest of the works.
Nice ideas.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

Hi, Jan

I guess inappropriate gives me a bit of pause, though I understand your right to use your own language. What is inappropriate for you is truth to me. This poem came from an experience of the heart, and I'm guessing your working off the concept of some notion of form. As I say, it's your right.

Thank you for stopping by.

reply by JanPerry on 03-Apr-2016

When you speak from the heart you have to tell it so that everyone can understand what you mean. Without being simplistic.

reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

Your point is taken, but I have problems with 'have to' quite frankly.

Comment from duchessofdrumborg

Excellent

"And We All Fall Down" is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece. This poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

Thank you so much, duchess. I appreciate you taking time out this morning to read my poetry, and for your support and encouragement.

:) Bev

reply by duchessofdrumborg on 04-Apr-2016

Bev, you're very welcome.It was a pleasure to read your poem.

Kindest wishes, the Duchess

Comment from lynglyng

Excellent

Great rhythm and flow. The poem is easy to read. I think that it is cleverly written and gives the reader a challenge to hear each word and understand where the poem is going. Your descriptions give the vivid images that allow the reader to envision each line.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

Hi, lynglyng

Thank you so very much for this very gracious and encouraging review. It's always a challenge to express something that is so deeply felt in the heart. I appreciate your respectful approach in this matter.

Warm regards,

Bev

Comment from scd41

Excellent

The poem is sensitive and full of emotions. There is some good alliteration in the free verse. When you say in the last stanza 'And I want to lose my mind', it ends in a sad note.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, scd41, for your gracious review. I appreciate your own sensitivity in reviewing this poem.

Warm regards,

Bev