Donald Trump Vs. God
It may be later than you think!23 total reviews
Comment from Cynthia1
So very clever! You have captured "the Donald" to a "T:. Too bad this can't be used in the political campaign- I can just see the video now- Donald soaring in a cloud of righteousness. Great work!
Cynthia1
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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So very clever! You have captured "the Donald" to a "T:. Too bad this can't be used in the political campaign- I can just see the video now- Donald soaring in a cloud of righteousness. Great work!
Cynthia1
Comment Written 02-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Thank you, Cynthia, for your terrific compliments!
I'm planning to send a copy of the piece to the DNC, and see if they have any use for it. Please feel free to share it, if you wish.
I'd like to keep it promoted on FS in this critical period between now and the election, but it costs about 40 bucks to get it near the top. i first posted, i think, back in May, and promoted it then, too. Do you think other Fanstorians might be interested in participating in promotions?
Don
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I know, the cost is almost prohibitive. I think it is worth a try on the donations. In the meantime, I would certainly send it along to the DNC!!
Comment from Mabaker
Very clever. Good dialogue interaction, in fact very well written all through. I saw no typos, but then I don't look for fallen commas. So you get five stars because it was so well put together. Regards Mabaker
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Very clever. Good dialogue interaction, in fact very well written all through. I saw no typos, but then I don't look for fallen commas. So you get five stars because it was so well put together. Regards Mabaker
Comment Written 31-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Mabaker, for your complimentary comments on my piece. I hope you liked its substance, too!
Ogden
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
This is a very clever piece of writing. Very inventive and very pointed in its delivery.
"Jesus! yes!!" - Yes.
The denizens of Heaven smiled. concerned - either the full stop should be a comma or it should be Concerned after it.
he was complaining aloud - He as this isn't a speech tag.
Good write
GMG
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Hi there,
This is a very clever piece of writing. Very inventive and very pointed in its delivery.
"Jesus! yes!!" - Yes.
The denizens of Heaven smiled. concerned - either the full stop should be a comma or it should be Concerned after it.
he was complaining aloud - He as this isn't a speech tag.
Good write
GMG
Comment Written 31-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Thanks for your complimentary comments, giraffmang, and for spotting the errant period!
Much appreciated!
Don
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I await Trump's decision... hope he takes the offer, or we'll go down the toilet. Hillary already has her fingers on the handle, ready to flush. Who do we choose? A foolish, big-mouthed, out of control buffoon? Or a pathological liar, criminal, and truly selfish, evil, b*tch?
My guess is neither--most voters will stay home and get drunk or stoned.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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I await Trump's decision... hope he takes the offer, or we'll go down the toilet. Hillary already has her fingers on the handle, ready to flush. Who do we choose? A foolish, big-mouthed, out of control buffoon? Or a pathological liar, criminal, and truly selfish, evil, b*tch?
My guess is neither--most voters will stay home and get drunk or stoned.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Thanks for your comments, Phyllis.
In answer to the quandary you posed of who to choose, I fear that Mr.Trump, in reality, if given the power, using his free will - knowingly or not, could very well precipitate an irreversible beginning of the end. Nothing, not even Hilary, could be worse than that. If we think of it as like being forced to choose between the flu and cancer, the unpleasant decision would be clear.
If people were to stay home, I think that would benefit Trump, and in a close race it could decide the outcome.
Best wishes for all of us!
Don
Comment from c_lucas
We are experiencing the beginning of the end. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is good imagery.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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We are experiencing the beginning of the end. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is good imagery.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Thanks you for your complimentary comments, C. All we can do now is wait for this to play out, and have faith that we will emerge on the other end with a whew! of relief.
Don
Comment from barkingdog
The deal-maker thinks he can make a better deal with God. Sounds true to form, Ogden.
You've captured Trump's essence and written a fantastic political flash fiction.
It made me laugh. It made me think. It made me wonder what will happen next.
It's going to be a long, long ninety some days until Nov. 9th.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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The deal-maker thinks he can make a better deal with God. Sounds true to form, Ogden.
You've captured Trump's essence and written a fantastic political flash fiction.
It made me laugh. It made me think. It made me wonder what will happen next.
It's going to be a long, long ninety some days until Nov. 9th.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much for those compliments! What more can a writer hope to read in a review of his work?
Your appreciation is appreciated more than I can say.
Don
Comment from light
Very interesting satire on The Donald. If he really wants to bargain with The Almighty, he will have to ask forgiveness which he says he has never felt the need to do. I live in California which is a minority majority state which means there is a plethora of Democrats with few Republicans so my vote for him would not count. If I do vote it will just be the down ballot. Great flash fiction entry.
Elaine
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Very interesting satire on The Donald. If he really wants to bargain with The Almighty, he will have to ask forgiveness which he says he has never felt the need to do. I live in California which is a minority majority state which means there is a plethora of Democrats with few Republicans so my vote for him would not count. If I do vote it will just be the down ballot. Great flash fiction entry.
Elaine
Comment Written 30-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Many thanks for your complimentary comments, Elaine! My piece may be fiction, but I believe that Mr. Trump, in reality, if given the power, using his free will - knowingly or not, could very well precipitate an irreversible beginning of the end. Nothing, not even Hilary, could be worse than that. It's like being forced to choose between the flu and cancer. I hope that helps. :O)
Don
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I first voted for JFK then I became a Republican. I am pro life so I worry about the Supreme Court. I know that Trump's father was arrested in 1927 as part of the KKK and that he has stated that he believes in the race horse theory. That is ugenics. I am very worried. But the lessor of two evils is still evil. Elaine
Comment from LIJ Red
There's a comma after God when he yells at Trump I don't think is needed. And changing some of the quotes to italic thought-streams would make it easier to slide through, in my opinion. Excellent post.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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There's a comma after God when he yells at Trump I don't think is needed. And changing some of the quotes to italic thought-streams would make it easier to slide through, in my opinion. Excellent post.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Thanks for your compliment, LIJ, and for catching that misplaced comma, and for your suggestion to swap some quotation marks for italics. Much appreciated!
Don
Comment from royowen
Well done with this one, you sound like a man who has a handle on how God deals with men, even Trump, who whenever we think, is still loved by God, but you've put a perceptive grasp on Trump, who thinks in grandiose terms of himself, an Hitlerian character with a grand but dangerous self perception! Heaven help us, and you did! Well done, excellent political satire, and an excellent entry, a "what if" if I l ever saw one. Good. luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Well done with this one, you sound like a man who has a handle on how God deals with men, even Trump, who whenever we think, is still loved by God, but you've put a perceptive grasp on Trump, who thinks in grandiose terms of himself, an Hitlerian character with a grand but dangerous self perception! Heaven help us, and you did! Well done, excellent political satire, and an excellent entry, a "what if" if I l ever saw one. Good. luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 30-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Thanks again, Roy, for your generous compliments! I'm so glad that you see Mr. Trump in the same light (or darkness) as I do!
Don
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Most welcome
Comment from mvbrooks
Fascinating story and strong description. You've captured the arrogance of candidate Trump. The "conversations" sound realistic. One can only wonder if in part two, the devil appears to offer Donald an alternative plan.
The storyline is consistent and honors the bible version.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2016
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Fascinating story and strong description. You've captured the arrogance of candidate Trump. The "conversations" sound realistic. One can only wonder if in part two, the devil appears to offer Donald an alternative plan.
The storyline is consistent and honors the bible version.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2016
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Thanks for your thoughtful comments, mybrooks. "Beat the Devil" is a terrific idea, and I hope you will take it on!
