Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Excellent

Hi, Bev. Even so, lilies or not your picture is lovely and gives the idea of a furled lily. I enjoyed reading it thought you had great meaning behind the, especially the last line. blessings and hugs, giddy

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Giddy. I'm glad you enjoyed reading my post. I love Avmurray's artwork, so I decided to take my chances on it not being exactly correct.

Really appreciate your time and generosity, my friend.

Hugs, Bev

Comment from Adri7enne

Excellent

Those look very much like the blooms I had on my aloe vera plants, the one time they ever bloomed.

I like the alliteration of "Poised" and "promised."
So you're participating in the poetry month challenge. Good on you, Bev. A nice entry

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Thanks, Adrienne. I knew there'd be a sharp-eyed gardener out there somewhere LoL. I really picked the image 'cause of the fairies LoL.

It'd be great to see a poem from you.

:) Bev

reply by Adri7enne on 01-Apr-2016

Ah, you're a sweetie! I quit making promises I can't keep. LOL! I can't seem to commit to anything these days. I'm back on my exercise program and doing daily meditations, so who knows??? Send me a fairy, why don't you? LOL!

reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Sounds like you're committed to yourself right now. I say that's a good thing, Adrienne.

xx Bev

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Well done with this one Bev, the word "furled" I've never used in a work, but it makes sense in your nicely composed haiku my friend, I'm glad you're celebrating "poetry month", well done, your 4/4/4 is really 3/4/4, beautifully done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Hi, Roy

Thanks for catching that first line syllable count. Correction on its way :)

I appreciate your kind review.

:) Bev

reply by royowen on 02-Apr-2016

Most welcome

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Hi Bev,

I'm looking forward to all the poetry this month, and what a nice addition yours will make :) You do the Japanese forms well. It's going to be a fun month this April.

Nice haiku in the Easter theme for the ressurection. Well done! I enjoy reading the haiku so that some day I might be able to write one without fear. For now I'll stick to my traditional favorites.

Sincerely,

Joy

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Joy. I do find the form challenging and delightfully complex.

I appreciate your encouraging and supportive review.

:) Bev

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hi, Bev. doggone it, you posted this so late in the week I don't have any sixes left for it....and it is very much deserving. This is such a beautiful Haiku and all part of a wonderful presentation in every way. Bless you, my friend. Bob

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Hi, Bob

Your wonderful compliments mean just as much as an extra star, Bob. I so appreciate your considerate and, truly, generous review.

Do you think you'll be posting any poetry in the month dedicated to the form? I'd love to read it!

XX Bev

reply by Mastery on 01-Apr-2016

Not sure. What are the rules and so forth? Bob

reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Well, the NanoPoem, I believe, is filled. I didn't look into it because I don't want to have to do a poem a day. Though I'll enjoy following the offerings.

April is designated National poetry month, so that's my impetus. Plus, there are quite a few poetry contests this month. You should check them out.

XO Bev

reply by Mastery on 02-Apr-2016

I may do that. :) Bob

reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Hope so!

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Bev,

I had to really think a bit on this one. Not your fault - I think it was mine! I automatically think of 'unfurled' when I read this - don't know why, though I suppose it may be because I am used to seeing 'unfurled' more than 'furled'?? This poem has a very nice message and the timing is perfect with Easter. Thanks!

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

I originally was going to use unfurled, for the same reason as you, then looked it up. I was surprised that furled was the right term.

Anyway, thanks for the great review, Robyn.

:) Bev

Comment from Wabigoon

Excellent

Writing--
No, they're not. Poised? What I would like to see is some writer daring enough to unfurl them. I think there is probably a death threat if you do. Still, writing carries that sort of danger and I want to see someone willing to unfurl those lilies and risk that threat. What else in writing is worth it?

So far, zilch here.

Jeff

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Thanks for you, always, interesting review, Jeff.

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

The faeries sorta look like furled lilies, no?

:-) I think so, anyway!

Excellent brevity and true to form 4-4-4. Nice one! I like the way it sounds read aloud, with alliterated P and consonant R sounds.

My only advice is to consider not using ALL CAPS as it sounds like shouting, somehow, which does not seem (to me) to suit the tone and tenor fo your theme. Just a thought!

Lots of Love,
rd

PS My membership will be expiring now...and I'll be a standard reviewer and not as active here as before. Do feel free to keep in touch off site (of course!) HUGS...!

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Hi, Rama

Thanks for mentioning the lower case. I totally agree that the shorter the form, the smaller the print (hehe). Unfortunately, the picture format, which I was not able to change, seemed to dwarf the words.

I'll be certain to stay in touch, my friend.

Hugs, Bev

reply by rama devi on 01-Apr-2016

Big hugs and smiles! rd

reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Sending them along to you as well. XXOO Bev

reply by rama devi on 01-Apr-2016

~*~ ::{{{ xxxxOxxxx }}} :: ~*~

Comment from Liberty Justice

Excellent

Lovely photo lillies so colorful. Alliterations are furled and for. Poised and promise two more allierations. Ressurection is an analogy to the Bible and Jesus Christ. Nicely done! liberty justice

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Liberty Justice. I really appreciate you taking time to read my poem.

:) Bev

Comment from pmait

Excellent

I do enjoy these simple twelve syllables, as a lover of nature and poetry. Not being as advanced as you in poetry, and new to FanStory, I have a basic question about haiku. I enjoy writing in this form and enjoy reading them, but I have kept to the classic 5-7-5 form and other restrictions. Many that I am reading here, even contest winners do not. Are there any boundaries to what can be a haiku, and what is something else? Your 4-4-4 is called haiku and feels like haiku, and I like it a lot, but how can I tell if I have written one?

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Hi, pmait

I took some classes on the short Japanese forms on the site back when I joined five years ago. My understanding is this: a 'real' version of the Haiku, etc. is not bound by syllables -- that's not something that has meaning in the Japanese language. The poems are breathed. When you read one of them out loud, you will find a rhythm by doing that. The 5/7/5 is a Westernized version of these short poems, mostly because in the Western culture we value rules and standards. On FanStory, you will see many versions of the haiku, senryu, etc. that have varying syllable counts. Also, traditionally they do not include an image. Hope that helps!

Thanks very much for your most kind review.

:) Bev

reply by pmait on 01-Apr-2016

Thank you for the lesson. I think I like the additional freedom, but I still think they should be primarily about an experience provoked by nature. I guess I can make up my own limits! Appreciate your help. pmait

reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Absolutely, you are right on target about the heart of the haiku being a personal experience/observation. I'm certainly no expert!

:) Bev

reply by Anonymous Member on 03-Apr-2016

Thank you for the lesson. I think I like the additional freedom, but I still think they should be primarily about an experience provoked by nature. I guess I can make up my own limits! Appreciate your help. pmait

reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

You're very welcome! :) Bev