Comment from William Ross

Excellent

very good that old green eyed monster jealously great write on this, wonderful rhyme, rhythm and read. good luck with this and enjoy the day

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Thanks, William.
Much obliged...

Comment from DR DIP

Exceptional

That my poetic friend is a great exercise in rhyming verse scheme and format I loved the beat this predominately AAAA rhyme scheme created.
just a couple of things;
in the third verse: "soon seagulls screeched, surfs would pound."
...like sheep surf not surfs The plural for surf is surf as it is collective pronoun..I know that's diddly shit but it reads better for what is a great exercise in continuous rhyme pattern.

yours in rhyme
dr dip

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Thanks, Doc. It's all fixed up now.
I appreciate you reading and the six stars too.
Much obliged, mate...
:}

Comment from danpald

Excellent

The flow of the poem
Moves along with delight
Still the emotion here
I am not sure if it be envy, right?

Envy or jealousy does seem the fear
To bring forth green emotion dear
Both lead the one to hell's gate
For there is nothing more heinous
than hate

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Thank you, Dan...

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

The green-eyed monster Jealousy has been with us since Cain's sacrifice
didn't please YHWH and Abel's did. Interesting monorhymes for each stanza.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Thank you, Red. Your comments and review are appreciated.

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Thank you, Red. Your comments and review are appreciated.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi mystery poet,

I am not sure why with this one in particular but I had Vincent Price's monologue from the beginning of thriller in my head when I was reading this one, especially the first couple of verses.

Great job with the personification aspect of the piece. Great internal and end rhymes which maintain throughout.

Best of luck in the competition.
G

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Thank you, giraffmang. Your comments and review are appreciated.

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Thank you, giraffmang. Your comments and review are appreciated.

Comment from Sandisan

Excellent

Wow, quite a poem. I love your wording, it ebbs and flows. It has good rhyming.
The choice of artwork is also just perfect matching the evil that lives within. I enjoyed reading this.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Thank you, Sandisan. I appreciate you taking the time to review and comment.

Comment from Word Junkie

Excellent

Hello Poet,

This is a terrific poem, almost brutal, and beautifully written so the reader just sails through it from first word to last. Excellent word choice throughout!

You may want to capitalize "earth" in the next-to-last stanza, as it refers to the planet, and not dirt.

Reading this was a blast. You should do well in the contest.

Ciao,
Lana

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Will do, Word Junkie, and thanks for pointing that out.
I'll get right on it.
Thanks for the review.

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

I do like mono-rhyme (a little - I even use it occasionally), and internal rhyme-especially when end rhyme is so excellent too. However (and I hope you won't be offended by this because it is only my own taste, my own opinion), I honestly feel it can be a bit overdone...but that is JUST ME, my friend. That said, your first stanza wasn't monorhyme - but the internal rhyme is certainly abundant. This shows no lack of skill and use of poetic device - I'm wishing you all the best in the contest.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

No worries, Dawn.
Thanks for your comments. :)

reply by Dawn Munro on 31-Mar-2016

Bless your gracious heart!!! Big hugs and a peck on the cheek. :))

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

It is one of the most destructive emotion any one can find themselves in. When the green eye monster takes hold, he will not let go even when lives are destroyed.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Amen, Sandra.
Thanks for reading.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello, anonymous,

Awesome presentation and in green! Very appropriate, green for envy and jealousy. A good choice of an emotion to impersonate. I would have chosen 'terror, horror, fear,....' but that is just me.

I love Edgar Allan Poe's style--Trochaic / Heptameter with a lovely rhyme scheme - aabb/aaaa

The alliteration is fabulous. I love your word choices, again, they remind me of Poe.

Beautiful, your poem is just beautiful. Well executed and presented. What more can we ask from a bard? Good luck in the contest. I wish I had sixes left but you know how that goes.

*gypsy*

ghastly ghoulish glow;Hell's whore hound.

castigate

seagulls screeche

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Yes, I know all too well how it goes, Gypsy Blue Rose. I'm usually out of my sixes come Tuesday, or Wednesday at the very latest.
That's not why we write anyhow, is it...in the faint hope of getting sixes? I hope not, because if that's the only reason, besides enlightening, inspiring, and, yes, even horrifying those who care enough to read what we've written, we might as well hang it up.
Much obliged for your comments.