Comment from lalajovanoski

Excellent

Wow. This is truly remarkable and finely composed. Well written and flows very smoothly. Full of emotional depth. Congratulations on the contest win!
Thanks so much for sharing as I truly enjoyed reading

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks for reading, lalajovanoski.
I appreciate your comments.
Take care...
~Dean

Comment from TPAC

Excellent

I found this write creative in its structuring, descriptive lines with plenty well chosen items by word conveyance. I thought it was an interesting read.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks for reading, TPAC.
Your comments and review are appreciated.
~Dean

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Emotions are the weakness of mankind. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Congratulations on your win.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks.
~Dean

reply by c_lucas on 03-Apr-2016

You're welcome, Dean. Charlie

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

Oh where is a six when I need it.
Exceptional poem and the personification if unique.
The descriptions are perfect and the whole rhyming are well done...very well done
Congratulations

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks.
~Dean

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Exceptional

Congratulations, Dean. Your rhyming and alliteration is superb in this horror poem. I enjoyed the internal rhymes too... great fun to read and a well-deserved win, my friend, Giddy

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Giddy, and I apologize for the lengthy delay in responding.
Don't think for one moment it's because I don't appreciate you or your support.
I really do!
I'm just s-o-o-o-o far behind, but I'm trying to get caught up.
Thanks again!
With gratitude,
~Dean :}

Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

Your beginning pays homage to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's "The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere" which begins, "Listen, my children, and you shall hear / Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere." Capturing my attention, I read on, noting the rhymes at the end and in the middle of your lines.

Pride, jealously, greed, and envy bubble up from your words and search for Hell's Gate. I think this could also be a poem about people consumed with envy for your talent. If afflicted, it is up to this person to "stem the flow."

This is a strong poem about a personified emotion and a well-deserved win. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thank you
~Dean

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

So it was you that sent us ISIS and the commie left, eh? Well, I hope you're happy with the mess you made. Don't suppose you're going to clean it up? No, your kind never does. I really hate those big, evil, green monsters. LOL! :)

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Hahaha, yeah, guilty as charged, Phyllis (so sorry 'bout that!).
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
Enjoy your weekend.
~Dean

Comment from ciliverde

Excellent

Well done, Dean, you are in fine form here my friend! Your lyrical telling of this horror tale is quite compelling. Okay, let me start this over...Lol.

I love your use of archaic language here, and the use of these long, rhyming lines is very good for storytelling.

I feel the gates of Hell may have been swept open a time or two before 1928, but let's not niggle about that. As we both know, he/she who hesitates is lost!
"Lend me an ear, try to relate, but tarry not, nor hesitate." I like the feel that time is of the essence!

The various sins push one man to find the gates of hell: excessive pride, lust for power, jealousy, anger, hate and greed - that about sums them all up!

In the third stanza I think I'd say "AND all but he were cruelly drowned" - minor detail.

Love that feeling when the gates are opened - that "tepid tide, torrential hate".

Oh, and the final line is the best :))))
You might set off a few haters with this one!
love ya,
Carol

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks, Carol.
~Dean

Comment from jusylee72

Excellent

you always write with fear inside and throw it outside at us. I truly don't want to meet this green lady , whoever she is. Is the green also behind my own eyes? I don' t know.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

I believe there is a little of the green-eyed beast within all of us, jusylee, as much as we like to deny it.
Thanks so much for taking the time to review this.
Have a great weekend.
~Dean

Comment from Mark Childs

Excellent

Excellent rhyming scheme with an equal level of storytelling. Two good reasons why you are currently ranked #2. Keep up the good work.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Thanks for reading, Mark.
Enjoy your weekend.
~Dean