Comment from victor 66

Excellent

Another tantalizing tale from the master. This is a very good story told in a very poetic way. This is also another lesson in being "careful what you wish for". Congratulations on your well deserved win.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks, Victor.
The contest finished in a three-way tie.
There were only four contestants.
So, in reality, I didn't win anything simply managed to stay even.
Thanks very much for reading and commenting.
~Dean

reply by victor 66 on 04-Apr-2016

A three way tie and breaking even... well, still a good story in a poem. Take care, my friend.

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016

It's better than losing, right?
You do the same, Victor, and thanks again.
~Dean

reply by Anonymous Member on 07-Apr-2016

It's better than losing, right?
You do the same, Victor, and thanks again.
~Dean

Comment from Ekim777

Exceptional

" Beware my lord of the green eyed monster jealousy that doth mock the meat it feeds on." Othello/Shakespeare. We all live in a society but how do we define it. We begin by giving everything false value and then we proceed to covet everything so unleashing the gates of hell. Jealousy can rage like a bus fire. Whatever the case. It is beautifully stated which goes s to say that poetry can make beauty out of anything which prompts some wise men to say beauty is terror.I think our poet well understands this. -Ekim777

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Mike, and I apologize for the lengthy delay in responding.
Don't think for one moment it's because I don't appreciate you or your support.
I really do!
I'm just s-o-o-o-o far behind, but I'm trying to get caught up.
Thanks again!
With gratitude,
~Dean :}

Comment from bichonfrisegirl

Excellent

A great deal of thought and effort went into the writing of this piece, and it is not lost on the reader! Wow!

Your poem tells a great story, and I love that you have used old-world vernacular ... mayhap/whilst/nor ... really lends itself well to creating the scene for the reader.

Excellent alliterations throughout. "Pride's push for prudence" ... brilliant! Both picture and poem pair perfectly together.

I notice that you have mono-rhyming in every stanza except the first stanza.

Great job on this write, Dean! Congrats on your win! Well deserved.

Connie

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016

Thanks very much for reading and commenting, Connie.
It's appreciated.
Take care,
~Dean

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

Congratulations on first place
Pride, lust, greed, jealousy
You touched on quite a few here
It's hard to hold back the tide
without omnipotent powers
This reminds me in theme
of your sonnet from a while back
one trying to hold demons below
but all that remained was a yellowed Bible
Here in Jade, he tries to hold back "the tepid tide
torrential hate"
Excellent use of language and poetics
with matching art work
Well done, the poem that is,
not the opening of the gates!

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016

Thanks for reading and commenting, Robert.
It's appreciated.
Take care.
~Dean

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-Interesting character in the artwork.
-I noticed the reference in style to "The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere" in the first line but don' know if that has any significance.
-Good rhyme, meter, and flow of ideas.
-You carry the theme of "Hell's gate" very well throughout the poem.
-Congratulations on the win.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016

Thanks for reading and commenting, Pam.
It's appreciated.
Take care.
~Dean

reply by Pam (respa) on 04-Apr-2016

You are welcome, as always.

Comment from Oatmeal

Excellent

Emotional reflections are insightful and impressive. Flowing very nicely. Nicely effective and impressive. Very well reflected thoughts and expressions. This is a very detailed poem. Telling things very plainly and comprehensibly.

I saw no SPAG and no typos. Everything looked in place.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016

Thanks for reading and commenting, Oatmeal..
It's appreciated.
Take care.
~Dean

Comment from Bill O'Bier

Excellent

Hello Dean:
Congratulations! I think you did an outstanding job with this piece. Excellent use of words and a smooth flow. The picture is appropriate for the theme of the poem.

Warm regards,
Bill~

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks for your review, Bill.
~Dean

Comment from lindafisher

Exceptional

I recognised this as your writing when I was reading the contest entries. It stood out immediately to me as the winner. Congratulations on yet another contest win. Best regards Linda.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Well, I shared this win with three other contestants in the contest, Linda. I didn't win it outright.
Four contestants, a three-way tie
3 entries with nine votes each =7.50 payoff per winner
Oh well...better than winning nothing at all.
Thanks for the revu, ad the six.
~Dean

Comment from Caressa_08

Excellent

Oh, I'll try this again, as had it all typed, and like a ghost, it disappeared.
When, I first saw your poem, that really caught my eye, a few days ago, I thought the author to be was possibly a Dean Kuch's want to be, or a protégé of his. And reflecting here... how dare he or she, try to compete with the poet mastery of horror and misfortune, Though, now, am relieved it turned out to be you, and Congrats your way for quite a poem. And think this one of a kind photo of this ghastly person with a definite green glow..and Vampire-like teeth, and possibly a creature from Hell's gate has that look to guarantee, that she will haunt us for the whole weekend long..Take her back, where she belongs, Dean's horror file..as she seems to have the look to curse us until Hell freezes over.

Caressa_08

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

The picture is what I imagine envy would look like if the emotion were personified, Caressa. Or at least very close.
Thanks for your in depth review and comments.
~Dean

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

Congratulations on winning the contest. You certainly deserve it. It is indeed a personification of an emotion poem. A green monster and mankind found Hell. I thoroughly enjoyed the internal rhyme on top of the end rhyme.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks for your comments, Ine...
~Dean