Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

A fascinating story of how Hate came about and released its power over the world. This emotion drowns out both all other emotions. It blinds the victims.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

Thank you for reading, Shari.
I sincerely appreciate your kind comments.
~Dean :}

Comment from lynglyng

Exceptional

This poem is excellently written. It is easy to read and enjoyable to read. It has great rhythm and flow. The poem almost seems like a song as you are reading it. I thought your descriptions were vivid and well described. I could envision everything that I read about. Very well done.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016

Thanks so much for taking an interest in my poetic endeavors, lynglyng. Your complimentary comments and six star rating are very thoughtful.
I am really pleased to know that you enjoyed reading this.
Take care, and thanks so much again...
~Dean

Comment from Wabigoon

Exceptional

Dean--
I can read through all the catchy rhymes here to what I take to be tragedy. Blunt and simple, tearful.

This "poetic self," from the Nineteenth Century at the earliest, is stuck, trapped in time. Well, you say it, 1928, why?

And this is a terrific line: "as Heaven's slaves, nor Hell's whore hound." Meaning, our "hero" has this epic goal in mind. Liberation. Then hell's aggregate overwhelm his prideful state. Why? Doesn't this fellow have a weapon? Is he completely naive? Apparently yes.

You use all the...old religious notions why there can be no liberation here. Why? How does judgment of the heart, of the author's intentions figure here? Could you write a version of this poem where this opening of Hell's Gate is heroic? If that is possible what tasks would it impose upon the narrator? What does the poet assume...assume without any confirmation other than all the warning made by "The Gods" that this is what will happen?

Where is Prometheus?
Jeff

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

1928--and the years following WWI--then, soon after, the Great Depression. That's why this particular time period was chosen, Jeff
And you're right, my hero is completely na•ve, or rather, he's blinded by his lust for power and jealousy of those who hold power over him.
As for Prometheus, well... we'll simply have to ask Meredith Vickers and Janek about that.

Thanks for the as always insightful review, and the six stars as well. I'm always very grateful for both.
~Dean

reply by Wabigoon on 03-Apr-2016

Dean--
Let me see if I have you right on this: are you saying, "in aggregate," that one man's opening of the Gate is responsible for the horrors of the Twentieth Century? Or, to ask the same thing in a more general fashion, that is was our aggregate lust or will to, for power which unleashed WWI, WWII, the Depression, etc?

Jeff

reply by Anonymous Member on 03-Apr-2016

Dean--
Let me see if I have you right on this: are you saying, "in aggregate," that one man's opening of the Gate is responsible for the horrors of the Twentieth Century? Or, to ask the same thing in a more general fashion, that is was our aggregate lust or will to, for power which unleashed WWI, WWII, the Depression, etc?

Jeff

reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

Not everyone's lust or greed for power, Jeff, but those who were in a position of power and more than willing and able to change things...yes, absolutely, that's precisely what I was implying.
The saddest thing is we STILL have not learned from our mistakes...

Thanks again.
~Dean

reply by Anonymous Member on 03-Apr-2016

Dean--
Let me see if I have you right on this: are you saying, "in aggregate," that one man's opening of the Gate is responsible for the horrors of the Twentieth Century? Or, to ask the same thing in a more general fashion, that is was our aggregate lust or will to, for power which unleashed WWI, WWII, the Depression, etc?

Jeff

reply by Anonymous Member on 05-Apr-2016

Not everyone's lust or greed for power, Jeff, but those who were in a position of power and more than willing and able to change things...yes, absolutely, that's precisely what I was implying.
The saddest thing is we STILL have not learned from our mistakes...

Thanks again.
~Dean

Comment from nancyjam

Exceptional

Well of course you won. This is terrific Dean
well deserving of a six, my last one.
Terrific metaphor and imagery as you
personify jealousy.
Excellent rhyme and interior rhyme and
strong meter.
Congratulations on your win.
Nancy

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Nancy, and I apologize for the delay in responding.
Don't think for one moment it's because I don't appreciate you or your support.
I really do!
I'm just s-o-o-o-o far behind, but I'm trying to get caught up.
Thanks again!
With gratitude,
~Dean :}

reply by nancyjam on 06-Apr-2016

No problem.

Comment from CDyer

Excellent

I think you really earned the win on this one. Your work was emotion filled, both named and in tone. Very nice narrative of a story that becomes a personal recounting. If you don't mind, I don't believe I will re-read at bedtime!

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks, CDyer.
The contest finished in a three-way tie.
There were only four contestants.
So, in reality, I didn't win anything simply managed to stay even.
Thanks very much for reading and commenting.
~Dean

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Dean

= Such a smooth, easy read ... a delight.
= Congrats on the win ... well deserved.
= She looks a bit green with envy ... maybe she needs an anti-acid!

* A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! *
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks, Jax.
The contest finished in a three-way tie.
There were only four contestants.
So, in reality, I didn't win anything simply managed to stay even.
Thanks very much for reading and commenting.
~Dean

Comment from Bryana

Exceptional

Hi Dean, this is certainly a personification
of fear, well written, an excellent entry to
the contest,
My congratulations for a well deserved first place.

Have a wonderful Sunday my friend.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Bryana, and I apologize for the lengthy delay in responding.
Don't think for one moment it's because I don't appreciate you or your support.
I really do!
I'm just s-o-o-o-o far behind, but I'm trying to get caught up.
Thanks again!
With gratitude,
~Dean :}

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

Dean, you have a great poem hear with both internal and end-rhymes. A good commentary on hate as well. Your win is well deserved for this very skillfully crafted poem, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks, Debi.
The contest finished in a three-way tie.
There were only four contestants.
So, in reality, I didn't win anything simply managed to stay even.
Thanks very much for reading and commenting.
~Dean

Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Excellent

What a moving poem personifying an emotion. Your words are so well chosen, and the emotion deep and frightening. I truly don't know how you find just the right word combinations, and rhyme. It flows so naturally as though straight out of your mind, and maybe that is how it is for you--me, I struggle more.

Congratulations on the win. The poem is phenomenal,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks, Rhonda.
The contest finished in a three-way tie.
There were only four contestants.
So, in reality, I didn't win anything simply managed to stay even.
Thanks very much for reading and commenting.
~Dean

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

Hi, Dean, and congrats on another win.

1st stanza - do you mean, 'if you're too late', rather than, 'not too late'? Or maybe I'm missing something.

Blimey - you must have worn out the dictionary finding all those 'ate'-ending, rhymes, and NONE of them appear forced as they're all so apt. Brilliant!

You start every line with an iambic un-stressed syllable, EXCEPT the 10th ('seagulls') which made be stutter a tad (oh dear, poor me, LOL), and this can be simply fixed by adding, 'the' to the start of the line.

Very clever last stanza to personify, 'jealousy', I THINK, but if that is the idea, I don't get the connection to the rest of the poem and the wicked person on the shipwreck who ends up in hell. Because of all the realistic detail, that 'sea' part doesn't SEEM like a metaphor.

Maybe I'm being dim, and the whole poem is extremely well-written and thought-provoking anyway.

Nothing wrong with a little mystery.

Really excellent!

Cheers, Ray.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Yes, the emotion I chose is jealousy, Ray. As for the Gates of Hell one would need to travel to the four corners of the Earth to acquire the 4 separate keys needed to unlock the gates and gain access, hence the characters reasons for having to set sail (see, Argento, Mike (August 15, 2005). "The road to hell paved by PennDOT". York Daily Record (NewsBank).Retrieved August 17, 2010.). It'd be a l-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ong walk otherwise.
In addition, the legends state there are four, three headed hydras that stand guard at the gates which are also capable of spitting a poisonous venom. If just one drop touches your skin, you're dead...instantly. This man wanted so badly to rule the world, he risked his life to make others jealous of him and his knowledge, or power.
Just a story in a poem, that's all.
As for the line with the gulls, I'll be sure to correct it.
Thanks for the review.
Take care.
~Dean

reply by Domino 2 on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks for your very well-read, interesting and informative review, Dean.

I'm not one to believe in any form of myth, though I do find many of them entertaining.

I also find comparisons of myth with reality to often be accurate.

Cheers for now, Ray.