Blue Coffin
Brown burial in blue box.98 total reviews
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi SisCat - this is a great addition to the book 'Man's Great Folly'. You have written some good stanzas on the result of this folly, some of which is evident today. I love the picture. All these poems will make a great book. Well done - warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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Hi SisCat - this is a great addition to the book 'Man's Great Folly'. You have written some good stanzas on the result of this folly, some of which is evident today. I love the picture. All these poems will make a great book. Well done - warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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Thank you, Dorothy, for your review. I am glad I contributed my poem to the book "Man's Great Folly."
Comment from I am Cat
Hello Andre',
I found this the most compelling of all the writes.
And most especially, the last line of this... Who will be there to build you a blue coffin? wow.
The silence at the end of this is overwhelming. This is so six star worthy...
and I'm left bare. Please know it's amazing. You have gone above and beyond the parameters of this. WEll done.
some of my favorite parts:
You then notice the presence
of dead pines
as far as the eye can see,
along ridges and slopes and valleys,
every evergreen now everbrown.
(I love the suggestion by Teresa to use 'everbrown')
Sweat trickles down your neck
on this winter day,
and you wonder what wood tastes like
for the bark beetles,
which felled the forests from Canada to Mexico.
(great idea to go from the POV of the beetles!)
And you think of the dead trees
to be recycled this way;
and of the customers on this planet;
and you wonder if anyone will be left
to build you a blue coffin.
(so amazingly done, Andre'!)
by the way, I just love your new profile pic! Adorbs! ;)
Great job!
C
A virtual * * * * * * stars!
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Hello Andre',
I found this the most compelling of all the writes.
And most especially, the last line of this... Who will be there to build you a blue coffin? wow.
The silence at the end of this is overwhelming. This is so six star worthy...
and I'm left bare. Please know it's amazing. You have gone above and beyond the parameters of this. WEll done.
some of my favorite parts:
You then notice the presence
of dead pines
as far as the eye can see,
along ridges and slopes and valleys,
every evergreen now everbrown.
(I love the suggestion by Teresa to use 'everbrown')
Sweat trickles down your neck
on this winter day,
and you wonder what wood tastes like
for the bark beetles,
which felled the forests from Canada to Mexico.
(great idea to go from the POV of the beetles!)
And you think of the dead trees
to be recycled this way;
and of the customers on this planet;
and you wonder if anyone will be left
to build you a blue coffin.
(so amazingly done, Andre'!)
by the way, I just love your new profile pic! Adorbs! ;)
Great job!
C
A virtual * * * * * * stars!
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Oh, thank you, I am Cat, for your review and virtual * * * * * * stars. I think the reasons why "this the most compelling of all the writes" is that I focus on the small--a beetle the size of a grain of rice--instead of writing a big, sweeping poem trying to explain the entire global warming. I also involve the senses as I take the reader on a tour of the devastation. I made it personal by using the pronoun "you." All of these created a compelling poem. Thanks for your review and support. Thank you also for taking the time to write a thank you note for my reviews of your poems. I received an avalanche of reviews for this poem and I am writing thank you notes to each reviewer. Thanks for the inspiration.
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You're awesome, Andre' ;)
Comment from Chris Walker
Very insightful piece. The effects of the man's disrespect on our world have had and continue to have a devastating impact. Great account of what is happening in our world. Love that you used your art to give this account and message. Your poem flows really with great imagery. Love the irony of using the trees to make coffins. Thanks for sharing this. ~Chris
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Very insightful piece. The effects of the man's disrespect on our world have had and continue to have a devastating impact. Great account of what is happening in our world. Love that you used your art to give this account and message. Your poem flows really with great imagery. Love the irony of using the trees to make coffins. Thanks for sharing this. ~Chris
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Yes, Chris, it is ironic that entrepreneurs build coffins from these trees . Thank you for your review of this "very insightful piece."
Comment from Word Junkie
Hello Sis Cat,
This is powerful. It's breathtaking. It's tragic, leading me to think, "We're tragic." So much to say, so little time left to say it as our audience shrinks. I've depleted my six-star bank, so I can only give this exemplary poem five stars. I wish I'd saved at least one.
I will make one suggestion: 'birdsong' for "the songs of birds," in the second stanza.
Thanks for sharing. Thanks for caring.
Respect to you,
Lana
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Hello Sis Cat,
This is powerful. It's breathtaking. It's tragic, leading me to think, "We're tragic." So much to say, so little time left to say it as our audience shrinks. I've depleted my six-star bank, so I can only give this exemplary poem five stars. I wish I'd saved at least one.
I will make one suggestion: 'birdsong' for "the songs of birds," in the second stanza.
Thanks for sharing. Thanks for caring.
Respect to you,
Lana
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you, Lana, for your review and your "birdsong" suggestion. I am keep the original "the song of birds" because it repeats the rhythm of "the scent of pine needles."
Like you said, my poem is powerful, breathtaking, and tragic. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Kaydoe
Wow! Thanks for this poem and educating me on the plight of the pine forrest
because of these beetles. You would think some Raid might help. Perhaps science
could alter their genetics in some way. Thanks for sharing this information in such
a descriptive poetic way.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Wow! Thanks for this poem and educating me on the plight of the pine forrest
because of these beetles. You would think some Raid might help. Perhaps science
could alter their genetics in some way. Thanks for sharing this information in such
a descriptive poetic way.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Yes, Kaydoe, perhaps genetic could help, but the beetle infestation is so widespread, that authorities have given up fighting them. Once the tree is infected, our only choice is to cut and burn the tree to prevent the beetles from spreading to healthy trees. Thank you for your generous, six star review of my "descriptive" poem.
Comment from lindafisher
I knew of the obvious effects of climate change, but this has opened my eyes to an even wider problem than I could ever have imagined. Thank you also for your notes that fill in all the gaps.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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I knew of the obvious effects of climate change, but this has opened my eyes to an even wider problem than I could ever have imagined. Thank you also for your notes that fill in all the gaps.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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lindafisher, what terrifies me is when reviewer of my poem tell me that bark beetles are killing the trees in Spain, England, Canada, and throughout America. This poem is an eye opener. Thank you for your review.
Comment from WintyBoy
To quote myself:
" THE ONLY PEOPLE OF ANY REAL WORTH ARE THOSE OF A CARING NATURE."
This for me is a magnificent statement, as for me it equates wonderfully with man's effect on nature and it's beautiful resources. i.e.-------------------
Indeed...it reflects on the fact that man's pillaging of this planet will cause his
own extinction. " THE DESTRUCTION OF MAN BY MAN."...Respectfully...Winty.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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To quote myself:
" THE ONLY PEOPLE OF ANY REAL WORTH ARE THOSE OF A CARING NATURE."
This for me is a magnificent statement, as for me it equates wonderfully with man's effect on nature and it's beautiful resources. i.e.-------------------
Indeed...it reflects on the fact that man's pillaging of this planet will cause his
own extinction. " THE DESTRUCTION OF MAN BY MAN."...Respectfully...Winty.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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At last, Winty, I have arrived at my last thank you note of the night after a task that took me all day. I love your quote: "THE ONLY PEOPLE OF ANY REAL WORTH ARE THOSE OF A CARING NATURE." Yes, don't blame the beetles. We are causing our own destruction. Thank you for your generous, six star review.
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I should mention on hindsight--the
magnificent statement I referred to:-
Was your poem----not my quote.
" REVIEWS" Try in excess of 200. " O "
the pain of it, and with only one finger. I'm new to all this, Tap, tap, tap, and
tappety - tap. Regards Winty.
Comment from JanPerry
Your style of poetry is awsome. I couldn't match it anywhere.
It's a very serious subject , the climate change. I don't think everyone can understand the magnitude of it, I can't
Great words.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Your style of poetry is awsome. I couldn't match it anywhere.
It's a very serious subject , the climate change. I don't think everyone can understand the magnitude of it, I can't
Great words.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Yes, JanPerry, the magnitude of this problem increased when reviewers told me that beetles are killing forests in Spain, Canada, England, and throughout America. I am glad, though, you found my "style of poetry awesome." Thanks for your review.
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That is bad
Comment from c_lucas
The forest personnel are restricted in the chemicals they can use. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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The forest personnel are restricted in the chemicals they can use. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Yes, C_lucas, forest personnel are restricted in the chemicals they can use. This is why they are cutting and burning infected trees before forest fires burn them. I am glad you found my poem to be "a very interesting read." Thank you for your review.
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You're welcome, SC. Charlie
Comment from LIJ Red
Those beetles swept through mountain Georgia, and though our forests
are hardwood as well, the damage was in billions to the pines. On a
planet where oxygen and forests are so necessary, this is a catastrophe.
Excellent free verse.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Those beetles swept through mountain Georgia, and though our forests
are hardwood as well, the damage was in billions to the pines. On a
planet where oxygen and forests are so necessary, this is a catastrophe.
Excellent free verse.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Now, Georgia?! Reviewers in Arizona, Nebraska, Illinois, California, Canada, Spain, and England told me that beetles are killing their forests. We need trees for oxygen. I am glad you found my poem to be an "excellent free verse." Thank you for your review.
